Ex wife is crazy!

[rach083]

I'm not sure if this is in the right area or not but I am a mother and this has to do with well, being a mother. My current husband and I got married in March of this year. He is a wonderful man, as well as father to his 5 year old daughter from a previous marriage. I also have a 5 year old daughter from MY previous marriage. My problem is his ex wife. I will try to make this as short as possible. I just really need to know what our next step is.

My husband and his ex wife got together along time ago. She pressured into getting married, saying if he didn't marry her, she would leave him (my god he should have ran!). So he married her, a few months later, she was pregnant. From the time their little girl has been born, she has had Mackenzie (their daughter) in and out of dr's offices for every little thing. Even making things up saying she isn't eating well, or walking funny, or making up symptoms, just for the attention. My husband didn't realize any of this until he seperated from her and saw all the dr's records. He then found out that the reason the pediatrician dropped his daughter as a patient was because of his ex wife. We have on a medical papers written by the dr. "suspects mother has munchausens (sp?) disease. I don't know if any of you know what this is, but it is a serious issue.

About a year ago, his ex wife started stating that Mackenzie was having seizures. We have Mackenzie for 6 wks in the summer, every other weekend and two days during the week overnight and have NEVER witnessed a seizure of any sort. She took her to the dr and they put her on medicine for epilepsy! Now all of a sudden they did tests and there are no signs of her having seizures since she has been on the medication so they are going to take her off of it. THANK GOD. We had children's services involved and the hospital said that as long as the mother is stating the child is having seizures that they have to do something about it. I think they have finally seen what we have and are wanting to cover their hind ends! Now that they see she is a perfectly healthy child, they are "weaning" her off the meds.

She will not give us Mackenzie almost on a monthly schedule...saying she is sick and is keeping her. Saying that she has an in home LPN. (she is on the medical card and does not work so I know this is not true). My question is this...what do we do? How can children's services not see what is going on when everyone else can? What is our next step before this woman seriously hurts this child?

Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!

Racheal

[LanaBear]

That's a tough one, especially when DCFS doesn't do much. I'm not sure what else could be done short of talking to a family attorney...

It's frustrating, I have a friend who is a hypochondriac and has her daughter in the Dr's office all the time! Not to the extent of seizure, but the last one was because SHE not the Dr suspected the little girl had pediatric arthritis. The Dr said he didn't believe so, could find no indications of it, etc. She took her to another city to see a specialist and they told her the same thing. So now of course, all the Dr's are wrong.

It's hard to even talk to her anymore because I get so frustrated.

But if the ex is not keeping up her portion of the custody agreement, it is justification to go back to court.

[rach083]

That was our next step is taking her back to court. It just seems like the mother always wins, no matter what and it is frustrating. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this kind of thing with my ex. But it's almost as bad as dealing with it on his end. I know it's going to take alot of time and money. But hopefully it will be worth it in the end. Thanks.

[Kallygirlie]

well here's the think if you take her back to court. If you accuse her of something that big, they have to legally have her tested because with Münchausen syndrome, it can become a very serious thing. now the question stands, is it Münchausen syndrome or hypochondriasis. Major difference between the 2 would be

Munchausen: the patient is fully aware that they are created symptoms for the attention.

Hypochondriasis: the patient fully believes that they or their child is sick.

Either one is very serious. With Munchausen, it is not uncommon for parents to inflict harm to themselves or their child if they feel the doctors are no longer believing them. I feel if you the situation is as bad as you say, I would go to court and look into your options. If Child protective services are not stepping up, dont give up. My brother learned through his divorce that if you call them, they will prolong it as long as possible but if you make a visit and demand immediate action because you feel the child is a danger, they have to legally check into the issue. My brother made the visit to the office and CPS was knocking on the mothers door the next day. go to court about the visition not being allowed by the mother and tell them what the previous pediatrition told you. see if you can get a manditory evaluation of her done.

[rach083]

We did have her investigated but everything was dropped, CPS said that they couldn't find the mother un-fit. That in order to get an evaluation done, the person has to AGREE to it theirself. I honestly believe she knows Mackenzie is fine. She used to tell my husband that she herself (his ex wife) was having surgery for a hole in her heart, that she was in a car accident or that she was in the hospital. When his response was "I don't care Lisa," she turned it onto Mackenzie. It's all an attention thing to get my husband's attention. Another thing, we were told by a very trustworthy person that his ex wife has been seen going into this drug dealers house in town & that she is badly addicted to meth. How do we prove this?

[LanaBear]

If you report drug use, that's a whole different ballgame. They could find her endangering the welfare of a child. They can test her, etc. It's about timing, as meth is out of your system in 2-4 days...

[rach083]

If you report drug use, that's a whole different ballgame. They could find her endangering the welfare of a child. They can test her, etc. It's about timing, as meth is out of your system in 2-4 days...

2-4 days? Wow, I did not know that. We had her tested for drugs a long time ago but she was warned a week in advance. So maybe that's why she passed it.

[Kallygirlie]

oh wow. the only way to prove that is physical proof. Down side about that, is what your friend says would be hear say. The only way to really prove anything would be to take the child to your own doctor and have them do a full physical on her. Let them know what is going on with the other doctor and tell them your concerned about the mothers intentions for all these medications. I cant believe a doctor would put a child on anit seizure meds if they did not know for sure it was even happening.

[LanaBear]

2-4 days? Wow, I did not know that. We had her tested for drugs a long time ago but she was warned a week in advance. So maybe that's why she passed it.

Yep - unfortunately it needs to be as random as possible. There are even detox agents that will mask any trace in your system for 4-5 hours. As long as you have as least one hour and a detox agent, you can pee clean for the next 5 hours. It sucks, but you got to be sneaky.

[rach083]

I cant believe a doctor would put a child on anit seizure meds if they did not know for sure it was even happening.

My thoughts exactly. They did a examination on her at Children's Hospital and her mother had to sit in the room with her. Every time she thought Mackenzie had a seizure she had to press a button. Well she told us that the nurses witnessed Kenzie have a seizure. Come to find out...she pressed the button 3 times, and she never ONCE had a seizure. I think they kind of started catching on like I said and that is why they are taking her off of her medication. But I'm sure if she isn't stopped, she will start saying something else is wrong with her!