My Sister Is Effecting Me Now.

[LiLp]

I'm not an emotional young lady. I actually look at myself as havin been my fathers first "son" so he taught me to be very thick skined. Well, now my older sister is effectin me. She is 2yrs older then me(20). She is a high school drop-out and has no job or anything...She has everything handed to her and she still feels the need to complain. I mean she had a car, whom which my Ma pays the insurance and payments, Finally she had gotten it taken away.She had gotten her phone taken away and now she has to sneak out at her age.Havin her 18yr old sister goin to get her 1 or 2 in the morning..

We have to share a room and every mornin I wake up and just feel deppressed. She has convos with her friends or boyfriend complainin, sayin she hates my ma, the family, the house. Its dumb. Sometimes I want to just punch her and tell her to stop bein a b***h about everything. I mean I worked hard, I graduate school and even though its harder now for me I'm tryin to join the military. I've had bad things happen and not go my way but you learn to get over it and try again.

She is just drainin me so much. I know I shouldn't let her but bein stuck in this town for another couple months with her I'm afraid will hurt my mental/emotional state. I can handle alot but now I can't put up with her. I wonder how my Ma feels with her...Gah...

My fiance is really the only one helpin keep me sane. I love him deeply for that.

[Kallygirlie]

well it honestly sounds like she has spoil brat syndrom. She's had everything handed to her and now that she had it all takin away she wants to complain. Every time she complaints about something, just remember, you are the one making the family proud by graduating, being independant and now possibly going to the military. You have alot to be proud of in yourself and dont let your sister bring you down. At the end of the day, she will be the one that envies you because when she's 25 and still going no where, she'll see she shouldn't have been wasting time complaining that the world didn't roll over and grant her every wish. Have you express this to her. I honestly dont think it will get through to her but try to sit down and calmly tell her that her life isn't that bad. You also have to remember that friends vent to each other so she may vent to her friends about all of this but deep down she knows its not true. You would be the better judge of that than I.

[Kallygirlie]

oh and 1 more thing. You said she sneaks out and you go out and pick her up. If i were you, I would cut that off real quick.

[LanaBear]

I know it's hard with you two living under the same roof, but you need to find a separation. Don't engage in conversation with her. Like Miss KG said above, stop picking her up when she calls. She has a HUGE sense of entitlement it sounds like. My sister does too. She's 28 and still helpless.

More than likely it won't go away. You just need to separate yourself from it and live your own life. They can't be helped, they can only help themselves and they very rarely do that. Your mom will do what she can to help and it is so heartbreaking watching your mom get disappointed time and time again when nothing she does makes a difference to your sister. But it is inevitable. You will have the respect, trust, etc that your sister will never have.

Keep your chin up!

[Nats]

Oh my GOD...Not totally my situation but I gotta say...Im the eldest of three girls, hailing from the house of a strict south asian family - no friends, no boys, no dates, no going out etc... - I've always been VERY close with my sisters, particularly my middle sister...Then she started secretly dating some guy in school...She would skip classes to be with him, went to his parent's house and snuck out numerous times and snuck him in numerous times...She ended up failing and had to retake her entire last year of high school...My parents were devastated cause everyone in our community found out about it and was talking about how she had turned, overnight, into the town ...It was just one guy but people like to exaggerate...Our parents lost faith in all of us from that day on...We had so many fights and ultimatums and my dad was absolutely cruel to us all...It was on earth for the better part of a year in our house...we couldnt even go to the drugstore to buy feminine stuff 'cause my dad would flip out...

Anyway, things eventually calmed down a bit and my mom and dad started to relax...But my sister did not stop talking to this guy - To this day she "secretly" calls him, texts him all day long, he comes to see her at work or school...

I took all of this very seriously and totally to heart...My mom would call me at work in tears because people from my sister's job called and said she hadnt shown up for work and its been like 4 hours...I would drive around looking for her to appease my mom, call incessantly and she would be at some restaurant with her bf...Couldnt sleep all night b/c I was worried he would come into the house and take her away (both my parents work at night so I'd be sitting there rocking back and forth like a crazy person)...Believe it or not, my parents spent a lot of time blaming me for not taking responsibility because Im older and should've known what my sister was up to...I was setting a bad example apparently...

It took me awhile to realize it but this isnt really something you can control...Everyone has their own mind, they do/think what they want...My parents still freak out if I dont call home twice a day from work but my sister continues to talk to this guy day in and day out and my parents just turn a blind eye...I think we come to expect people to treat us the way we treat them and that is expecting too much...Even parents are just human beings in the end...If your mom decides to believe what your sister is saying, I'd say your wasting your breath, like I was with mine...They've already made up their minds...

You do what you can to make yourself happy and help them out when they need you...otherwise, their feelings towards you are really inconsequential...I know approval from parents is important and everyone wants to maintain some semblance of a relationship with their siblings...but sometimes, you just cant...Do your part, continue to be good but dont let them walk all over you...

Sorry this is so long, set off some old wounds...Does it make sense or am I babbling...