18 Month old seems aggressive?

[Munchkin]

I have a very big family so i have looked after a lot of children. I have also worked in a childcare facility. So i know what some kids are like. So in comparison, my son is so good. He is generous, says please and thank you. Always smiling and happy. But lately he seems to be hitting people on the face and pinching and biting for no reason. Like, i'll just be sitting there and he'll come up to be a smack me in the face. I tell him off and he gets upset and sits on the floor and cries. I don't hit him when i tell him off. I have nothing against people who smack their kids but i've always thought that telling a child of for hitting, then hitting them yourself, is kind of hypocritical.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone has any ideas why he's acting this way. He doesn't even seem to realise what he's doing is wrong.

[WildChild]

Kids go through phases and it can be frustrating. You have to be consistant and firm. Distraction can help. At this age they don't understand all the whys but you can say, "NO, that hurts mama". They are experimenting and finding out what works and what doesn't. An appropriate time out, just a couple minutes at that age, can help. Is he frustrated with anything when he does this?

[despero]

I went through this with my son (he's 16months) What me and his father started doing was first, telling him its not nice...then we added in a little drama too. If he didn't get it when we told him it wasn't nice, we'd make pouty faces, and act like we're gonna cry...telling him "you hurt momma, that's not nice, momma's gonna cry" And he would just look at us at first, then he started coming over, and hugging and kissing. We also ALWAYS show him how to be nice, and tell him too. He doesn't hit very often anymore, but when he does, we tell him its not nice, and then ask him, "can you be nice to mommy/daddy?" Then he'll come over, and pat us nicely, or rub our faces nicely. With my son, sometimes he just gets over excited, and doesn't realize he's actually hitting. Other times, he's throwing a fit and means it! But he's gotten away from that. We also use timeout with him.

Have you tried playing the guilt trip on him? I think part of it is, they don't really realize they're hurting you. I could be wrong, and of course, it depends on the child. They have to understand that what they're doing is #1 wrong, and #2 hurts!

FWIW, I agree about hitting a child when he/she hits, especially at this age. They just don't get it yet. If they hit you, and you hit them, now its a game. We went through that with our son too. The first time he smacked me, I smacked his hand. Then sat back and thought about it....I'm thirtysomething....he's one...he's just not going to get that. Thats when we started trying other approaches.

Good Luck!!!

[LanaBear]

It's a phase and boy, are they ever fun. Up until my kids understood the concept of going to their room, we had a 'timeout/thinking chair' in the front room. We would set them in it and tell them no or what they were doing was not nice. As they get older and can understand more, you can explain to them why it wasn't nice, etc. I went by the suggestion of 1 minute of timeout for every year of age.

He's a year old, put him in timeout for a minute, it is an eternity for them.

We did that until about 4 or 5, now they both go to their rooms for timeouts, which can get pretty theatrical at times. lol

[Munchkin]

Thanks for the replies guys! He doesn't seem frustrated, it's like he gets over excited and hits out. I've started giving him time outs and that seems to be working.
Hopefully you guys are right and it's just a stage. I guess i'm quite lucky though, he could be doing things a lot worse. I really am blessed

[cora]

it comes with the age they all do it my boy is starting to do it to you just have to teach him that hitting is bad and reward him when he does good and put him on time out when he hits.