Menopause. I raised my kids. Leave me alone!

**cindy50** · 10-05-2009 10:27 PM

Hi gals. If you can understand this thread. Please respond in the best way you can. I don't want to yada yada unless there is a good forum going. Thanks.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-05-2009 10:35 PM

Welcome Cindy..

This Forum has people from all over the World and that means that people will respond to a thread at different times of the day (and night)....

However, there really isn't much here to respond to so you might as well yada yada away there..

Yes, menopause is a problem for a lot of women and they want to be left alone, however, can't see what it has to do with raising children unless your telling your husband that your not interested in sex, you've gone through menapause and you've given him children.

CW

**cindy50** · 10-05-2009 10:39 PM

Originally Posted by cindy50

Hi gals. If you can understand this thread. Please respond in the best way you can. I don't want to yada yada unless there is a good forum going. Thanks.

I forgot something. Typical with meno women. Do any of you feel that since you did all the things a good mother should do for their families, they STILL think you are wonder woman? When you have lost the drive and spirit to do it? I feel as if an entity robbed me of my drive to perform. Shopping? NO!
Decorating? NO! Holiday planning? NO. No. No!!! Am I alone in this?

**ThexMrs** · 10-05-2009 11:35 PM

You know... My mom got like that for a while. She said almost the same thing about raising her kids and wanting to have her own life. She stopped having family dinners with us kids and just kind of... Did her own thing which actually turned out to be unhealthy for her. Now she's back to her old self but also doing for herself too in a healthy way. That feeling may come and go but everyone is different. I wish you the best.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-06-2009 02:50 AM

It's only menapause, you seriously would not , not want xmas and a tree..

Your way mad and angry and grr and pfttt and it's natural..

It will actually pass because menapause does not last for ever....

Not much else I can say there.

CW

**WildChild** · 10-06-2009 06:23 AM

Can't say I've experienced that. I enjoy my kids now that they are nearly grown and I'm branching out to explore new things and find "my thing" at this time of my life. Actually I enjoy celebrations more now than a few years back. But then that may be because I got out of a very negative relationship? My primary symptom of menopause has been increased horniness (I was plenty horny before LOL) and a greater awareness of spirituality (note: that is not religion).

From the little you've shared it sounds like you have a need to go to earth, to withdraw, to have some down time, maybe to grieve some things in your life? I think if you get the book, The Heroine's Journey, you will find she addresses what you are experiencing. It is a normal rediscovery and rebalancing. You've spent years doing for others, now you need some time for yourself, backing off. I think every woman could benefit in some way from this book, the therapist who wrote it has worked with hundreds of women.

**cindy50** · 10-06-2009 10:39 AM

Thanks guys for your support! I really appreciate it. WildChild, I'm going to get the book. I sure hope this passes soon. I think I have another 18 months to go. I've been married for 30 years and my hubby just can't seem to understand my withdrawal. Even getting me to go out to dinner is a chore!

**WildChild** · 10-06-2009 07:16 PM

Maureen Murdock who wrote this book, says this need to withdraw that some women experience is very natural. We spend so many years giving so much, that we can lose ourselves to a degree. We need to go deep to recover. I think knowing that you aren't the only one dealing with something can be very healing and helpful. It's a wonderful book, I really think every woman should read it.

**Bev63** · 11-07-2009 12:33 PM

Hi,
I feel the same way Cindy, to me it's very frustrating because I love my children but my need to be left alone is so powerful. Even the withdrawl from my partner has put a strain on the relationship. He is always saying I am trying to help you, and it is so hard to get him to understand that I really don't want his help right now, and I try and say that without hurting his feelings. Seems like I want to do everything on my own, from going shopping to walking my dogs. It almost feels like I have done all my motherly duties and my duties as a wife now I want my life to be for me. We are all trying to work through this difficult time as a family it just seems like sometimes I feel I need to go it alone.

This is the first time I have ever joined a forum, it is great to see that I am not alone with my menopause issues.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-07-2009 03:23 PM

Hi Bev,

Welcome to the Forum...

It's great that you found us and I hope that you share how you feel on here, more often... Being alone doesn't mean not writing down how you feel, sometimes that really helps, as well as people encouraging you to keep fighting it, it doesn't last for ever

CW