Reasons for self-injury
Why do they do it?
Even though it is possible that a self-inflicted injury may result in death, self-injury is usually not suicidal behavior. The person who self-injures may not recognize the connection, but this act usually occurs after an overwhelming or distressing experience and is a result of not having learned how to identify or express difficult feelings in a healthy way. Sometimes the person who deliberately harms themselves thinks that if they feel the pain on the outside instead of feeling it on the inside, the injuries will be seen, which then perhaps gives them a fighting chance to heal. They may also believe that the wounds, which are now physical evidence, proves their emotional pain is real. Although the physical pain they experience may be the catalyst that releases the emotional pain, the relief they feel is temporary. These coping mechanisms in essence are faulty because the pain eventually returns without any permanent healing taking place.
Self-harm serves a function for the person who does it. If you can figure out what function the self-injury is serving then you can learn other ways to get those needs met which will reduce your desire to hurt yourself.
It is difficult to understand the motivations behind self-injurious behavior, but a clearer picture develops when you hear the common explanations self-injurers give for doing it:
* “It expresses emotional pain or feelings that I’m unable to put into words. It puts a punctuation mark on what I’m feeling on the inside!”
* “It’s a way to have control over my body because I can’t control anything else in my life”
* “I usually feel like I have a black hole in the pit of my stomach, at least if I feel pain it’s better than feeling nothing”
* I feel relieved and less anxious after I cut. The emotional pain slowly slips away into the physical pain”
Self-injury can regulate strong emotions. It can put a person who is at a high level of physiological arousal back to a baseline state.
Deliberate self-harm can distract from emotional pain and stop feelings of numbness.
Self-inflicted violence is a way to express things that cannot be put into words such as displaying anger, shocking others or seeking support and help.
Self-injurious behavior can exert a sense of control over your body if you feel powerless in other areas of your life. Sometimes magical thinking is involved and you may imagine that hurting yourself will prevent something worse from happening. Also, when you hurt yourself it influences the behavior of others and can manipulate people into feeling guilty, make them care, or make them go away.
Self punishment or self-hate may be involved. Some people who self-injure have a childhood history of physical, sexual and emotional abuse. They may erroneously blame themselves for having been abused, they may feel that they deserved it and are now punishing themselves because of self-hatred and low self-esteem.
Self-abuse can also be a self-soothing behavior for someone who does not have other means to calm intense emotions. Self-injury followed by tending to one’s own wounds is a way to express self-care and be self-nurturing for someone who never learned how to do that in a more direct way.
People who self-injure have some common traits:
* Expressions of anger were discouraged while growing up
* They have co-existing problems with obsessive-compulsive disorder, substance abuse or eating disorders
* They lack the necessary skills to express strong emotions in a healthy way
* Often times there is a limited social support network
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