First time?

**Cheyenne** · 10-15-2009 07:49 AM

Durning my spring break, my mom wants to take to see a gyncologist so I can start using tampons. I've never been before, and I don't know what to expect. I know that's still a few months away, but I'm kinda freaked. I don't want my mom in the room, but I do. And I don't want hom/her to ask me questions and my mom finds out stuff I don't want her to know.
I shave my pubic hair, and I don't know if I should do that or not.
If you've been, can someone give me some advice? I just wanna learn more about them before I go. And id I have to have my mom in the room or not.

**WildChild** · 10-15-2009 08:21 AM

It's good your mom wants to do this. Usually they will check your blood pressure and pulse and weight -you've had all that before haven't you? The nurse will ask some health questions and then give you a charming paper "gown" to put on. She'll leave the room while you get undressed. Then the nurse or doctor will tap at the door (if it's a male doctor he'll have a lady nurse with him) and they will chat a little, ask a few questions. They may check your neck and underarm area to make sure your glands are ok. They will ask you to lie down and will check your breasts for lumps and should take to you about doing this regularly.

They will have you put your feet in the stirrups, these are just a place to rest your feet so your legs can relax and your knees will naturally fall open (kind of a frog leg posistion). The doctor will check your labia and outer vaginal area.

At your age this may be all they do. But they may use something called a speculum to be able to see to check your cerxix, which is the gateway to your uterus. Speculums come in different sizes and the doctor will use a small one for you. Usually they have them warmed up and they will put some goopy lubrication on it to help it slide in easily. If you can relax while the doctor does this you won't notice it much at all. Once it is in your vagina the doctor will open the speculum just enough, kind of like tongs open. They will check that everything looks healthy and that there isn't anything that should cause a problem with using tampons. The will release the speculum, slide it out, they will ask if you have any questions - ask whatever you want. They will leave while you get dressed.

Most doctors offices will leave it up to you and your mom, if she will be in there with you. I went in with my daughter for her first time and she did it on her own after that and they had me come in just for the talking part after.

**Cheyenne** · 10-15-2009 02:28 PM

I love the paper gowns that are almost see through.

*sarcasim*

Do you know if I can request a male or female doctor? Or is that the hospital's decison?

That's the part that freaks me out. My child doctor had to do that...

I can handle that. Just think about something else...That should work.
I hope

If mom does stay with me, can she still leave if I want her to? Or does she have to stay with me when he/she starts? I don't mind if my mom is in there, I just don't wnat her finding out anything. Will they ask me questions while they're doing it?

And thsi is another strange question. (i ask these a lot)
if I have a "toy", will the docter be able to tell? and, can i lose my virginty from using one?
Can he ask my mom about it?
Oh, no, to many questions....

**LanaBear** · 10-15-2009 02:40 PM

Normally you can request what ever Dr you want when you make the appt.

If you are more comfortable with you mom out of the room, then you just need to make that clear. Talk to her about before hand so that she is not blindsided by you saying, 'Mom, you need to leave.'

The Dr can't tell of your toy explorations or if you've used one. Your hymen may be broken, indicating loss of virginity, but they can break for a variety of reasons, not just from penetration.

**Cheyenne** · 10-16-2009 02:51 PM

Ok.

I've been trying but, she doesn't want to listen. When it gets closer to actually going, I'll try again.

Ok, I can handle that. Maybe I'm in the clear.

Thanks for all of your help!

**ItsASecret** · 10-16-2009 04:35 PM

Technically if you have never been sexually active you do not need to get the exam, it is extremely recommended though. And again, technically if you have been using a toy then a tampon will be of no issue. The doctor would tell you that if it was brought up. In addition, some gynecologists will not even go through with the giving an exam if their patient has not had any sexual activity, some are just not comfortable with it.

**Cheyenne** · 10-16-2009 06:12 PM

My mom wants me to get an exam done so she can make sure that everything is ok with my body, and that I can wear tampons. Since I've never worn them, I want to try them out.
Why would a tampn be of no use if I've used a toy before?

**WildChild** · 10-16-2009 06:16 PM

I think she means the exam wouldn't be much use as far as making sure that a tampon wouldn't cause you any pain. Some girls have a much tougher hymen than others and putting one in or pulling it out could be difficult, if you've been using a toy that is very unlikely in your case.

An exam is a good idea as you mature, it gives you a chance to ask questions, make certain that everything is as it should be, it kind of provides a baseline for your reproductive and sexual health.

**Cheyenne** · 10-16-2009 06:23 PM

Oh, Ok. So, if I use a toy, my body is ready for a tampon, and it probably wouldn't hurt me as much since I've already had something in there?

Ok. And I should get an exam once a year or so right?
I'm asking all these questions because my mom reuses to talk about it with me. Most of my friends just got their peroid, and one of my cousin is embaressed to talk about it. And I'm defiently not going to any of my uncles about.

**WildChild** · 10-16-2009 06:44 PM

I can understand not wanting to talk to your uncles about this. I adore all of mine but at your age that wouldn't have been on the table. Some people are skittish talking about sex, especially with their kids - silly but true.
There is a really good book that you probably find at the library - What's Happening to My Body? There is one for girls and one for boys. You might want to read both. I had no problem talking with my kids about sex but they didn't want to talk about it. LOL. Those books made it easier for them.

I kind of have a thing about books on any subject including sex so my teens could get at all sorts of info if the want to.