Spotting the Signs

[AloneNtheCrowd]

I was wondering what the ladies had to say about this from your side of the fence so to speak. So say you are with a guy, what signals or behaviors might be signs that you want to break things off or are unhappy with him...short of bluntly telling him lol!

[sourpuss]

Not being available when he wants to spend time together. Even the busiest person can make the time for someone they are interested in. If someone tells you they are too busy it's usually a blow-off technique. Everyone has to eat and can make time for a quick lunch or cup of coffee.

[WildChild]

I'd agree with Sourpuss's statement if it happens repeatedly. Sometimes life does just get hold of us and finding time can be a problem.
This depends on the woman, for me; lack of interest in sex would be a big red flag, cuz if I'm happy, I'm horny and I'll find the time for at least a quickie even if it means giving up eating or sleeping. Irritability can be a sign, if she isn't usually. Short temperedness, again, if she isn't usually.
I suppose the classic, " I have to wash my hair" when you want to go out.

This just depends on the woman, the type of relationship and the situation. I've had men I've told, "good bye, This is over, I'm leaving, out of here, don't call me" And they've come back a few days later. And I'm about gnashing my teeth saying, "which part didn't you get?" Apparently some women don't mean it when they say it's over.

Best thing? Ask. Clarify it.

[Hopeless Dork]

Mind you, all of these things I am going to list below don't have to mean a person is intending on breaking it off -- sometimes they mean the exact opposite, but here are a few signs:

*Encouraging you to spend more time away from her. "Hey you havn't hung out with Ritchie and the boys lately --- you should give him a call!" (Now of course this could mean she just wants you to have some fun, it could mean she wants to show you she is okay with you having a life outside of your relationship, it could mean that she feels smothered and wants breathing room).

*Not returning text messages, not answering calls, taking hours even days to get back to you and not being real sorry about it either. (This one rarely means anything good.)

*Cancelling plans repeatedly, things come up... for everyone ... but if there is a pattern of her calling it in often she might just not want to spend time with you.

*Disinterest in physical affection/decrease in desire for cuddles, kisses or sex. -- when a woman sets her sites on another man, or decides she doesn't want to be with the one she's with anymore -- she will usually lose interest in anything intimate.

*Becoming difficult, mean, beechy -- maybe in hopes you will end it with her so that she doesn't have to be the bad guy (guys are usually good at this one lol)

*is absent while present -- texting or on the phone or comp the entire time your in her company... not really giving you the attention you deserve.

[kms]

How would women show that they're checking out of a relationship....

Well, for me, I usually stay devoted til the end, but if at the very least if I'm unhappy or upset about something, I just cannot be physical/intimate. Everything needs to be resolved and good between us before I can feel comfortable giving that.

If he treats me badly or doesn't spend time with me and I don't give a (I don't feel upset or talk to him about it later), that means mentally I'm no longer committed.

The big one for me I guess is that I would start speaking up more freely. I tend to be fairly easy going and don't typically assert my preferences, but when I no longer care about the consequences I'll start speaking up much more freely. Not exactly the best habit but it's a hard one to break.

[higherroad]

i'll give you the guys perspective.

simply put....not taking the time to really hear you.

[Hopeless Dork]

The big one for me I guess is that I would start speaking up more freely. I tend to be fairly easy going and don't typically assert my preferences, but when I no longer care about the consequences I'll start speaking up much more freely. Not exactly the best habit but it's a hard one to break.

Good one , KMS. I realize I do this too.

I usually bite my tongue and hold back and let go the little things I want to say that may be out of line. But when I am at my breaking point and just don't care if my words might cost me ... I'll say them.