Trying to be supportive

[kygirl]

The guy I'm dating is great. He's a good listener, he's funny, albeit a bit crass sometimes, but I appreciate it oddly enough. My concern is that life has made him a bit cynical. Don't get me wrong, I am cynical at times, but deep down I am the eternal optimist. I am always stressed to the max yet somehow I manage to tell myself to keep my eye on the prize so to speak.

When we had dinner last night, I could tell his job was getting the best of him a bit. He just seemed very distraught kind of and like he wasn't sure what to do about it. This is kind of a contract type position that he'll have to do for a while and then should ease up a bit if all goes well next fall.

My issue is that when he starts talking about just quitting and going somewhere else it makes me a bit nervous. We're not engaged or telling each other we're in love or anything even, but I definitely feel myself falling for this man a little bit more everytime I see him.

BUT at the same time, I want to be supportive. I think he'll regret it if he quits, but I'm not sure if I should just keep being Miss Sunshine or what. I know he appreciates that I listen, but I can't really make it better either.

Obviously, the selfish side of me wants him to ride it out, but I also think that is truly what is best for him. He's very open but he's not exactly emotional

idk, thoughts?

[WildChild]

Why is it selfish to think he should, "ride it out"?

[kygirl]

Why is it selfish to think he should, "ride it out"?

It's not that I think it's selfish for him to ride it out really. I mean, I really think it'd be in his best interest. I just don't want him to perceive it as the only reason I'm saying that is because I don't want him to leave. Granted, I don't, but I wouldn't want him to think that.

I just worry about the best way to be supportive and encourage him, but also try to be a voice of reason without it coming across wrong. Does that make sense?

[OhThereYouAre]

Realistically, if he's staying there, and not actively looking for other employment, who does he have to blame but himself?

Turn it into a positive.

Start listing off his positive traits, and note how much they would appreciated at another place of business. Encourage him to start looking elsewhere.

He should have another job offer (or 2) in his hot little hands before he even thinks about leaving his current place of employment. Also, encourage him to leave gracefully and not burn a bridge. I'm very young in my working life but have seen how small the world is.

Good luck.