a womans perspective

[higherroad]

my soon to be ex-girlfriend and i had a blowup. actually it was me who had the blowup.

we had been together for over 2 years. the problem is her mother. she doesnt approve of our relationship. mind you my ex is 43.

anyone have any comments on how a mother can influence a daughters choice in partners?

[sourpuss]

How old are you?

Depends on the mother-daughter relationship. Of course, I care what my mom thinks, but I've never let her choose who my boyfriend is, nor would she ever try. But I have known people who have been divorced because their mothers made them choose between mom or husband. Each situation is different. And unfortunately, the only person who can choose how to live, is your girlfriend and if she lets her mother make her decisions for her there's not a whole lot you can do about it.

Honestly, if I were in a situation like that, I would run for the hills. Anyone who let's their parents make major life decisions for them after the teenage years so someone to steer clear of...in my opinion.

[OhThereYouAre]

if that woman holds her mother in high regard...it's pretty substantial.

if she's financial dependent in some way or another..it's pretty substantial.

if she's emotionally weak...it's pretty substantial.

[higherroad]

thanks for the input.

we are both in our 40's.

although around her parents she more like 12.

bad situation. when she was twelve lost younger brother in car accident with mom driving. only sibling

[kygirl]

thanks for the input.

we are both in our 40's.

although around her parents she more like 12.

bad situation. when she was twelve lost younger brother in car accident with mom driving. only sibling

She's going to have to figure that one out. It sounds like they are probably close since she is now an only child. That being said, she can't let something that happened 30 years ago influence her life now.

Not sure what the mother issues are, but more than likely, no matter how you approach her, she's probably going to be a bit defensive about it.

She has to decide if you're worth standing up to her mother about...and if it's been two years, it sounds like maybe she hasn't decided you are...

Good luck!

[moonisis]

My opinion is that if she really wants to be with you, she won't care what her mother thinks and will stand by you no matter what. Eventually her mother would see that she stood by you and cares about you and that you aren't going anywhere. At least that how I feel about it. Sure there are things my mother didn't approve of in my relationships and would say "get rid of him". But I never did and I said that just getting rid of someone isn't always the answer. Lord knows there are plenty of things my mother disapproved of being with my father for so long. Granted though, my mom's mother disowned her for wanting to be with my father! eek!

[caterpillar79]

Like history repeating itself. That's the sad truth, isn't it?