Fast-moving relationship...

[Mes T]

Well, hi! This is my first post, and of course I have to post with a (sort of) problem to start off.

My relationship with my boyfriend is moving REALLY fast. We immediately started spending time together EVERY day (helps that we live in the same apartment building actually), and on our two week anniversary we started saying "I love you." A LOT!

It's been a month now and I know that I want this relationship to last. Because he's just... SUCH an amazing person. The most wonderful guy I've ever met, that's for sure.

These past couple of days, though, I've noticed a slight change in attitude from him. He seems to be a tiny bit less enthusiastic when he sees me, and he doesn't say "I love you" quite as much. I'm worried that because our relationship started so fast, we're doomed to have a really sudden plummet! And I guess I'm a little paranoid and am starting to look for little signs so it doesn't take me by surprise!

AND. My best guy friend and I are really close, and unfortunately he has this tendency of becoming really flirtatious when he's drunk. Last weekend, he and I and some other friends had a lot of drinks together, and he was really flirtatious with every girl in the room, including with me... even though he knew how crazy I was about my boyfriend and had met the guy in person several times. Well, he kissed me on the cheek and I freaked out, yelling at him that I have a boyfriend and in general WTF...!

But despite that, I had a really good time and was still drunkenly thinking about the evening when I got home to my boyfriend's place... AND... I ended up calling my boyfriend by my friend's name!!! Not during an intimate moment or anything, but still...!! My boyfriend was in the room, and in my drunken delusion, I thought he was someone else.

And I can't help but think that this is contributing to his sudden slight change in attitude.

I'm afraid of broaching the subject, because I'm terrified that I might have said something a little more serious during that time. I love my guy friend like a close brother, but that's IT. But if I drunkenly slurred something stupid that night... I'm worried I wouldn't have the communication skills to defend my innocence if my boyfriend brought it up!

WOW, , this is long. Sorry... ha!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Honesty is always the best policy.

Just let him know that you had a great time with the girls that night and your friend was constantly bugging all of you and you recall saying his name, when you got back instead of your boyfriend's and laugh. But, then advise him that it has bothered you because you recalled and you weren't sure if it bothered him or not, or if he took it as it was, a few drinks, and wrong name.

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Think this threader needs a few more responses

CW

[GlitterAndStuds]

CW said it best. I'd say to try to casually bring it up to him, don't make it a big deal because it sounds like it really wasn't. Maybe make a little joke about how drunk you were that night and be like "Wow I must have been crazy to call you (so and so), I hope that didn't bother you or anything"... something to that effect. If he hasn't brought it up since then, chances are he didn't think anything of it anyway. I don't think it's going to be a deal breaker for him or anything.

[Mes T]

Okay. Thanks guys... I feel better about it! These past couple of days he's been acting fine. I guess I'll probe him to tell me what's wrong if I notice any chances in attitude again, and then I'll explain to him exactly why he shouldn't worry!

[dolphinlefty]

Glad it worked out and good luck! Try to slow down too (if you can. It helps keep things more interesting longer. Everyone loves a little suspense. hehe.

[Mes T]

Ahh. How can I slow things down? I've been making an effort to give him as much alone time or time with his other friends as possible so he doesn't feel like I'm trying to hog all his time. Hmm, otherwise... Well we moved really fast to get to where we are, but I feel like at least we've stabilized. I think we'll stay in this place for quite a while.

[PJhavinfunagain]

you just need to talk about it. Start that habit now, it is a good one.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Be more independant yourself sweet.

It's not just about giving him space, you need to catch up more with your friends, join a gym or something you would like to do that's maybe once or twice a week and that way, you will both miss each other more as well. Plus you won't feel like your sacraficing, rather your both together, in-love and independant. Re-assure him from time to time, your love, you don't have to do it with words, just with a smile, a touch on his shoulders so he knows there is nothing for him to worry about.

And, yeah, always be honest and communicate then you won't fear what happened this time...



CW

[Mes T]

Oh but I'm very, very independent, even though we end up seeing each other every day. I make plenty of time for friends and other interests...!

You know, maybe us being this close this fast isn't such a bad thing after all.