Husband, Baby & the Mistress

[TeresaMoore]

My husband I has broken up for 4 months because he was cheating. In the midst of our seperation came a mistress with a baby growing in her. Now he and I attempted to try our relationship again until one day I came home and his things were all gone. He was back with the mistress. I saw him recently asking him if he wanted a divorce. Don't know why I asked that question because it's obvious he in is love with her. I spoke to the mistress, she wants to keep the baby, and he wants to be there for the child. So where does that leaves me? It's just so hard to believe that my marriage is going to be over. It hurts just to know he doesn't love me anymore. I don't know what to do. I always invision my kids growing up with two parents around. Didn't prepare myself to do it alone. I DONT want to do it alone. Please advise as I dont know how or where to start the new chapter of my life.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Teresa,

I am sorry that your thread was missed.

It's difficult when a husband cheats, he "thinks" the grass is greener, yet reality is if only people communicated, they would reach their desires that are missed or problems and get them solved, instead of turning to another person...

She's having his baby and he has children to you.... That's alot of money he is going to have to sacrafice and please make sure that he does. He married you for better or worse and broke that... If he wants to try a different life, sure but make sure that you are financially looked after... You did nothing wrong as he never communicated the problems and allowed you both to solve them together as a married couple.

How do you get past it? With pain and anger unfortunately.

You need to surround yourself with loved ones, family / friends.. You need to realise your beauty and get out there and start some new things for yourself, hobbies...

I don't know of anyone that eventually hasn't told me of how they met this wonderful person that was better than their ex ...

Have faith because whilst this door has been closed, more than likely after 12 months he will be in the same rut with her, don't open your door or keep it open, it's your turn to find what you wanted that he couldn't give you in life.

CW

[Loveshoes]

I don't know of anyone that eventually hasn't told me of how they met this wonderful person that was better than their ex ...

Have faith because whilst this door has been closed, more than likely after 12 months he will be in the same rut with her, don't open your door or keep it open, it's your turn to find what you wanted that he couldn't give you in life.

CW

CW is great at this advice. She's right, there is someone out there that is just waiting for the likes of you to show up. And will he ever be thrilled to have such a terrific person to share his life with. It just takes time, just one moment, just one hour, just one day at a time. And little by little you'll be able to move on. Only you will know when that time comes and how you can move forward. Try some meet up groups in your area that have some of the same interests that you do. They can help tremendously.

[gunpex]

CHANDLERS WISH, you are very good at counselling, wonderful advice, it's full of positive thinking and encouragement.

TeresaMoore, whenever you feel depressed or thinking of your husband, just read what CHANDLERS WISH has written for you, i bet you, you will immediately change your mood and think about your future.

Why crying for someone who no more loves you?

Life is short, you should forget the past and every bad moments of your life, keep only the good memories.

Change your lifestyle, go for shopping, just get rid of everything that would remind you of the past, i'm sure you'll feel better, trust me.

Take your kids out, give them all your love and affection so that they never miss thier dad.

You'll be happy when you see them happy.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hope this threader comes back to read and if not, others will read in a simular situation...

CW

[danceintx]

Soooo true Chandler's Wish. How many times have I been in a seemingly hopeless situation, just to find out it was all for the best and I was better for it. Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans, and I say to focus forward on what you are going to do next. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and stop worrying about the past and what was supposed to happen. You will find happiness again.