8mths pregnant and I think my fiance is cheating on me

[faithfulone]

I know sometimes that when you are pregnant you become a bit emotional, insecure and unattracted. So I am writing this forum to see if I am being over dramatic about things.

When my fiance and I first met we hit it off like a pea and a pod. We both agree on planning to have a baby together. I have two kids and this would be his first.

He has been marriaged a quite a few times but seem to be a great guy..

Friends and family always seemed comfortable leaving their kids with him.

We also discussed marriage but since he had been married a couple time he was a bit skeptical about it. Although we did not think that I would get pregnant as fast as I did since it did not happen in the past for him being that he even paid for invitro with his last wife.

We would make love at least 2/3 times a day and enjoyed each other.

Now that I am pregnant not to mention a bit sick through my pregnancy we only had sex about 5 times total and I am 8 months pregnant. I began to think where did all the love, attraction, attention,sex, and happines go.

I talked to him about it him no longer showing any affection and how he sleeps at the end of the bad and I am on the other side of the bed. I also asked him was he still attracted to me and of course he said yes. I do not consider myself big although I have gained 55lbs (135lbs when we met)but it is all baby.

He has his own business and does other things on the side as well. So he has a lot of female friends so I do not know who is who but before I never felt insecure but all of a sudden I do know since everything has stopped.

Here are the incidents. One day he suppose to go to his office to met a client and it was 4pm and he suppose to return so that we could go grab a bit to eat as time went by it was 8pm so I called him. He picked up and said he was at the office talking to two of his other friend and would be home shortly so something told me to get in the car and go over there which I sit out side his office about 30 min later he and his friend walks out with beer in their hands accompanied by two females. I drove up and asked what was going on he said nothing however the female that was walking with him turned her back to me and never said a word. As for his friend he continue laughing and carrying on.

He was upset with me and stating that I should call when I come to his office.

Another incident is I check his phone and seen text msgs from this female asking if they could meet, what she wanted for her birthday, calling him boo, and etc.. I asked him about it and he says that she is a friend he helped get her business started and lived out of town. About two weeks ago I again found calls from this same female which he change her name to initials in his phone and I questioned him about it and he said she was helping him with a deal and I informed him how she lives out of town and he could not say anything. We had a big falling out because I was pissed and the next day when I came home from work he said that he had to leave and go stay in a hotel to get himself together.

I told him that we promise one another that we would not stay a night away from one another . I begged him not to leave but he still left and I called him after he left but he did not answer the phone.

The next morning he called and wanted to take me to breakfast so that we could talk but I did not go so he brought it home to me.

He stated he thought about what I was saying and I was right. We never talked about anything. So a couple of days later I explained to him the things we talked about when we first met and all his promises and he just apologzie and said that he would try not to stress me.

Two weeks ago I could not reach him and he said that his cell phone went dead but I called the office and he did not answer.

Earlier this week he stayed in his office tell about 830pm and came home to inform me that his phone needed a jump off and he came home to get the truck and cable.

I know for sure the mercedes has jumper cables in the trunk but I did not say I word. He returned home in about 945pm and the office is about ten away from our home.

I did not say anything to him once he returned he was just explaining which did not make sense. The next day I explain to him that it seems like I am going thru this pregnancy by myself an he is never around.

Sometimes when I call he do not answer so what am I to do if something happen or go into labor. He apologized and said he understand and he would do better.

The very next day which it was pouring down raining and usually we are texting or calling each other thuroughout the day. I did not receive a text or call which I thought nothing about it cause it happens sometime.

Due to the weather I was a bit congested and did not want to keep getting out in the rain so on my way home I called him to pick up me some medicine on the way home and he did not answer. When I made it home I called the office and a man picked up whom I did not know and apparently did not know me. I informed him who I was and asked to speak with my fiance. He told me that he step away from the office for about an hour and did I want to leave a message.

At this time I was furious because all of his friends know me and this guy must have been an average joe or something. Anyway I told him I will reach him on his cell phone which I called 3 times and did not get an answer. Then I called back to the office and ask the gentleman did he leave the office and the man repliled yes so I told him my name so that he could let my fiance know that I called. I then in returned tried caller him again on his cell twice and got no answer. Then about 30 mins later he calls the house and my cell but I did not answer. To top it all off he did not return home til about an hour and a half later. He came in the house trying to explain but I ignored him because he was lying I know..

He started saying that he left his phone on his desk and I was thinking why did the guy tell me his phone was in the office and why would you leave your phone when you have a fiance in her 35th week which means anything could happen at this point.. I am so mad and upset with myself to think that I trusted this man and this is the thanks I get.

I have to know go another 18 years raising another child when I could had been finished in the next 5 years.. He shows no remorse to my feelings.. What in the have I gotten into. All of my life I have put my trust in men and I get the same result although I thought this one would be different..

Please give me your advice or suggestion. Good or Bad.. Thanks in advance.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Welcome to the Forum.

Well, I don't think you do put your trust in men.. I mean, you call the mobile, office, mobile, mobile, mobile, office, mobile, check his phone, turn up at his office, see what I mean?

Sounds to me that he was just having a few drinks and that he does like to mingle with his friends but he knows your going to search for him and call and so he ignores it.. as he feels your a tad in-secure?

Nothing I read there made me think he was cheating, rather trying to be independent as well as being with you.. But, I think you want to be with him 24/7 other than when he has to work, or you just don't trust men and so "snoop"..

If a person is going to cheat they will, nothing you can do about it, so how about just going back to where you were at, and enjoy your time with your man, your baby and children and stop worrying so much...

I think your only concerened because being pregnant does that to a woman and way less sex is making you panic and think things that maybe aren't actually there...

Smile and enjoy your final week/s and smile at your man..

Seems he went away to think over night and yet, he wanted to talk but you let it all slide for a couple of days, same when he tried to ring, you didn't answer.. Don't assume your past is in your present unless it presents itself...



CW

[dolphinlefty]

I agree with CW but I totally agree with your statement about him leaving his phone with a fiance 35 weeks along. That's just inconsiderate. But being a girl who is dating a guy that needs me to hold his hand through everything emotionally involving and a lot of things most would just "know" and think to do, he could honestly mean no harm by it. I got really clingy to him and he almost left me because of it. He's so independent and I'm so... not (not here anyways. I recently moved 2000 miles away from home and he's all I have here so independent went with familiar surroundings). Try to keep yourself busy if he's not responding back after a few calls. Attempt to stay near a phone, in case he does. Do something that you can't do with him (mine would be watching musicals or art, something my boyfriend just isn't into but I really enjoy doing it anyways). Talk to your baby about the plans you have for it. Be happy! It affects your baby more than you know. And who knows, maybe he'll come around. I know he definitely should. I wish you the best of luck with your man and your baby. Again, be happy and congratulations!

[beautiful]

I feel very soory what happened to you.But it is not too late and you can leave without a divorce.sad for the kids but no child should have a father like that.
Hope one day you'll find somebody who is honest with you.

[sperosi]

he has been married quite a few times? just reading your post he sounds like a player to me. if it feels wrong, it usually is wrong. trust your instinct.

[moonisis]

The part about the text messages from girls worries me a bit. There is hanging out with work associates and all, but when you're that far along being pregnant and you are practically his wife, I would think that you would be more important. Some people just can't say no it seems and if people pressure them to "hang out" or "have a beer" they suddenly get sicked into a time warp and forget about everyone and everybody. My boyfriend does that to me and I think it's all an excuse.

Maybe as a backup you should contact a girlfriend of yours and ask if she can be a backup in the event you go into labor or have any issues. At least that way you will have a bit more peace of mind.

[faithfulone]

I would like to take the time out to say thank you to those who responded to my post. I know everyone has there view on relationships. I am by far not a starker and consider myself to be a very independent women. It is not like I sit around the house all day just calling his cell and his office. I actually have a eight to five job and he own his own company so he makes the decision when he should leave or not. He is not the only one that is bring something to the table although mine may not be as much. I do not live my life day in day out snooping around but of course if you care about your mate and you are really into your mate you are definite going to notice a change in that person. The decision to have a baby together was both of our choice not just mine. Further more if you are living with someone or seriously involved with someone why should you not be able to answer one another phone. If that becomes an issue obivous there is something to hide. Moonisis you picked up on exact what I was tryiing to stress to him.. I am 35 weeks pregnant and this baby could decide to come at any time and I have expressed to him that I would like for him to be there for me and it seems to not seek in so I will let it rest. I will soon have my own body back shortly. I have no regrets of having this baby and I know that he would be a great father but I thought at least he would be a little more concern being that it is his first. Thanks to all.

[the_8itch]

To me it does sound like he could be playing away but have you ever sat him down and spoke to him to see if he find's it a bit scary with having a baby on the way considering this is his 1st child?

[always hopeful]

First of all congrats on the coming of a new baby and preggie women ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!....second it sounds to me your man has some comitment problems. Take it from me my husband and I have own our own business for 13 years, before my boy was born I was directly involved so I pretty much knew everything that was going on, but now that the baby was born 3 1/2 years ago, I am not so much involved and yes it bugs me to no end, all his new friends, phone calls, having beers, and so on.....I was driving myself crazy over the last few weeks because of some major issues came out but I have now and really always comitted myself to my son, for a little while there I was concerned about him, cheating, having fun without me, I tell myself everyday that I cannot change other people I can only change the way I react to those people. Don't be afraid to speak up to him and if it is tuff to talk write it down and give it to him, REMEMBER your feelings are your own and nobody can take them away from you.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm sorry that you thought I was saying your a stalker. Not at all. But, a woman who has no concerns and trusts her man, doesn't get in the car and sit in it for 30 minutes and wait only to catch him with a woman and alcohol, not concerned for his pregnant wife that can drop at any time. A woman does this because she feels he's cheating, not neglecting her.

I am 35 weeks pregnant and this baby could decide to come at any time and I have expressed to him that I would like for him to be there for me and it seems to not seek in so I will let it rest. I will soon have my own body back shortly.

Hun, a loving man knows that your body is going to go out of wack whilst pregant, if you get your "own body back shortly" you do it for you... Only for you... I'm thinking that you feel that he's cheated because you've only had sex 5 times whilst pregnant and you forgive him, and your blaming yourself, because you were pregnant.

You've given up on him doing the right thing, opting instead to shhhh... and lose weight after and look good and make it all work.

If that is what it takes and your happy with that? Then sweet you go for it.

Just remember what you as a person are worth ok..

Best wishes with your baby, an awesome time for you...

CW