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Thread: There's a fine line between being busy and blowing someone off

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) kygirl is on a distinguished road kygirl's Avatar
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    Default There's a fine line between being busy and blowing someone off

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    How do you really know the difference?

    I'm a little paranoid, I'll admit because of past things, but I have flat out ASKED guys before if they were trying to blow me off and they'd say no, only to drop me a week or two later.
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    Triple Diamond Member (3,000+ posts & member 3 years+) Texinator is on a distinguished road
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    Probably the only thing you can really do is trust and hope that they're telling the truth.

    Why, is your boyfriend spending less time with you?

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    WH Head Moderator WildChild will become famous soon enough WildChild's Avatar
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    The thing is either someone wants to spend time with you or they don't. Sometimes it just they don't want to right now. Pushing may push them away so its a balancing act.
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

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    Banned from WH OhThereYouAre is an unknown quantity at this point
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    Quote Originally Posted by WildChild View Post
    The thing is either someone wants to spend time with you or they don't. Sometimes it just they don't want to right now. Pushing may push them away so its a balancing act.
    What she said.

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) kygirl is on a distinguished road kygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WildChild View Post
    The thing is either someone wants to spend time with you or they don't. Sometimes it just they don't want to right now. Pushing may push them away so its a balancing act.
    I understand being busy or wanting alone time, but I do think it's kind of rude to not return a phone call or text message. Especially when I haven't talked to you in 4 days. I'm very low on the "needy" scale, but really?
    If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
    -Andy Rooney


    It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward

    Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale

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    WH Super Moderator sourpuss is on a distinguished road sourpuss's Avatar
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    If someone doesn't have time to respond to a text within four days then they aren't so much busy as they are blowing you off.
    That being said, I hate text, who knows if they really got it. It just goes into textland.

    No matter how busy someone is, if they want to see someone, they will make the time to return a phone call. Simple.
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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) kygirl is on a distinguished road kygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sourpuss View Post
    If someone doesn't have time to respond to a text within four days then they aren't so much busy as they are blowing you off.
    That being said, I hate text, who knows if they really got it. It just goes into textland.

    No matter how busy someone is, if they want to see someone, they will make the time to return a phone call. Simple.
    Let me clarify... I saw him on Sunday, but I hadn't spoken with him in any way, shape or form since then. I called him last night with no response.

    I know things change after you've been dating a while but he rarely initiates calls anymore. I don't know for sure that he is blowing me off, because he did ask me to come over for dinner Sunday, but it just seems like it's getting to that point.

    Even if I see you sometimes, not sure how into me you really are if over the course of 4 days it doesn't cross your mind at all to call, email, text, or something. I get being busy and I don't want him calling me everyday, but he used to at least attempt to get in touch with me every 2-3 days. Usually by phone call if nothing else.
    If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
    -Andy Rooney


    It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward

    Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale

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    TEAM ADMIN CHANDLERS WISH is on a distinguished road CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    How long have you been seeing him for totally?

    What would you do that "every three to four days"..

    Dinner Sunday's with family?

    haha sorry for the questions..

    CW
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    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

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    you must believe!

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) kygirl is on a distinguished road kygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
    How long have you been seeing him for totally?

    What would you do that "every three to four days"..

    Dinner Sunday's with family?

    haha sorry for the questions..

    CW
    4 months. About twice a week, we'd go to dinner, occassionally a movie, I'd cook for him, or he'd cook for me, or we'd go have drinks, generally after the first month, if it were the weekend, I spent the night at his place. (he has a dog and I don't so it was easier to stay with him)

    between seeing each other, we'd usually talk one to two times a week. Even on a week we might miss (like when I was out of town traveling, then he was traveling immediately after) we'd talk a few times and/or kinda say "I'm not going to be available the next couple of days much, etc" to kinda let the other person know. That was okay with me, because I understood being preoccupied at times.
    If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
    -Andy Rooney


    It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward

    Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale

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    TEAM ADMIN CHANDLERS WISH is on a distinguished road CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Well, I think after a "few weeks" it becomes a relationship and so " I'm busy for the next couple of days" doesn't sit with me..

    I think by 4 months you should spend at least 3 times together and speak as well...

    Perhaps you keep things on a casual note without realising your doing it? And, it becomes "companionship" instead of a relationship?

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

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