anal sex advice

[AshleyA]

Hi there. I'm a 37 yr old happily married woman. We've been married for 12 years. Our sex life has always been good, but now we have decided to take it to the next level and try anal sex.

I'm both excited and a bit aprehensive about it at the same time. Not sure what to expect and am looking for a bit of advice here. What should I expect our first time, will it hurt like first time vaginal sex? What positions do you recommend to make it easier for two anal sex newbies? What kind of lube should we use? Sorry for all the questions, just want to get as much information as possible.

Oh ya, one more question, is it safe for hubby to cum in my butt? Wont cause any problems will it?

Thanks for your advice and sorry for all the questions.

Ash

[WildChild]

We've had several threads on this, you could do a site search and see them and you'll probably get lots of responses. But here's some nuts and bolts. Cleanliness is always a good idea, try to plan it so your bowels are empty as possible. Never, never, ever go from anal to vaginal sex. If you want to switch it around, use a condom, remove it, put on another. Lube seems to be a preference issue, some prefer Astroglide, it is rather sticky and you might want to keep some water at hand to thin it down a bit.

If you've never done any anal play you should ease into it, fingers, a toy, some way of working your way up to it so to speak. Prior to his entering, push down like you are evacuating your bowels, this will help relax the muscles and make entry easier. Have him slide in just past the spincter and then wait. Give yourself a few deep breaths and wait to feel the muscle relax, then he can slip in a little further and let you adjust again. After that you should be good to go. Position really depends, you may have to expereiment a bit, everyone is different and what works for others may not be the most comfy for you.

[crystalwaters]

Hi Girls, speaking as a regular anal fanatic, yes be very carefull at 1st as it does take a bit of getting used to, but once you have there is nothing that comes close to sheer erotic excitement & enjoyment.

I can enjoy it now without lube & its fantastic xx

[broseph]

some people use petroleum based lubes for anal, but I think astroglide should be fine. What's really good is Eros synthetic lube. wow.

Yes it's safe for him to orgasm in there.

[Antonia]

Anal sex is animal sex. It is the highest form of sexual interaction between a man and a woman. A lot of pleasure can be obtained from it, especially if you let go.

You have to go raelly slowly. The anal ring (opening) normally contracts unintentionally when an object goes through it. This is what makes it difficult at first to practise anal intercourse. If you go fast you could hurt yourself (become very sore or even tear the anal ring). I suggest that you first start using a finger or a small vibrator to get used to the feeling that there is an object there. The feeling may be uncomfortable at first, as if feeling you want to go to the toilet. Once you get used to the feeling, insert a larger vibrator. Using a lubricant such as KY Gel is necessary. Once you get used to the feeling of the larger vibrator, and once your anal ring (opening) gets used to objects going through it, then you become ready for the actual intercoure. Enjoy it.

[AshleyA]

Thanks everyone for all the advice. I can get a small vibrator in there, so I think thats a good start... Hubby and I are hoping to take it further this weekend!


Wish me luck!

[Loveshoes]

Thanks everyone for all the advice. I can get a small vibrator in there, so I think thats a good start... Hubby and I are hoping to take it further this weekend!


Wish me luck!

Good luck, lots of lubricant at first, it helps a lot. Slow and steady, be patient. Its great once you get past the initial phase.

[AshleyA]

Thanks. I'm looking forward to a fun weekend of exploring it more

[d4lly]

yeah make sure u use heaps of lube and get him to take it slowly until u get used to it. like Antonia said, it rele does feel like u need to poo lol i still havnt got used to this feeling ohh and to avoid something rele embarrassing happening...if he cums inside and if a lot of lube gets inside there make sure u go to the toilet in the morning!! i was stupid and didnt think to do this and the next morning my bf took me to breakfast, i thought i needed to pass wind but something else happend... lol

[Steph33]

I'm red writing this but be aware you can hurt him too. I finally got anal for the first time from my b/f after begging for over three years and my enthusiasm ended up hurting him a bit. He had always refused fearing he'd hurt me and that that (to him) it was degrading or "using" a woman.

He's nicely endowed but not a horse, and prepared with a fleet enema for preventing any possible "after surprise mess." I lubricated him myself with him sitting on the sofa and then taking him in reverse cowgirl. I don't have a "loose butt" or anything close in the slightest, but before he could finish saying "I don't want to hurt you baby" my rear took all of him from wanting it for so long and I came the first time after 3-4 "pogo stick" bounces while I worked myself with my fingers. Violent is the wrong word, but I got pretty wild for pretty long and came several more times, taking a "bounce break" occasionally to grind on him with all of him inside me. When I was done and wasted, I pulled him front with me and held the coffee table while asking him (read screaming at him) to cum, which he did pretty fast since I was done and he likes being told what to do.

But my MAJOR mistake was never thinking to stop and put more lube on him. I was losing my mind in a happy way, just rather lost in the moments. He winced a bit and made a pain noise when we were done and he pulled out. Next day when we got up his penis was very sore, I'd chafed (spelling ??) several layers of skin off the shaft of his penis and he was left with some very tender brush burns that took several days to heal and hurt to much when erect to have sex. Was even uncomfortable for him to hold his penis to pee. He was so embarrassed and I felt horrible, just glad there were no "brush burns" on the head of his penis. So "RE lube" him if he's in there for awhile, if he's big, or if his thrusting is fast and furious (or yours is). The stuff wears off. My past partners lost it in a half minute or less during anal and I got nearly nothing pleasure wise so never had this happen to me before. But my sweetie (love him soooo much) held his release till I was done and I know I was nailing him hard and fast for 15-20 minutes almost non stop. He was probably uncomfortable half way through it all but being excited, seeing him grip the sofa, clench his fists, or strain look on his face in the mirror I just took as him trying to hold back his release for me to enjoy myself.

If you have a guy who doesn't like the idea of giving you anal thinking he'll hurt you or whatever reason won't feel good for you, my solution was mirrors. I set up the several full length ones in our bedroom in the living room. He loves seeing my boobs bounce and he got a full view of me, my face, etc while I rode him, also seeing how much enjoyment I got while I was yelling and my hair flying all over the place and playing with my clit. I'll know better next time though will wait awhile as the pain thing probably on his mind, even though I really wanted it again for longer the next day (sorry baby). Not needed or expected by him, but I spoiled him above and beyond for several days after. He really earned it.