I am his mistress.

**happy ending** · 10-30-2009 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

Carolina, I think you touched on a good point. A lot of women that fall for a married man's advances or persue him and he takes the bait... feel like there is something special about them that lead this man to abandon his vows. Its a rush for some (not for all of course) to feel they hold that sort of power. Some just feel like the guy would never cheat on them... the way they did WITH them because he only did it for HER... she's special enough to change his character.

While there may be an odd case that is true... in most situations its not. If a man is a cheater, its a huge character flaw... one that would have revealed with another woman if not with the one they chose to cheat with.

Some say many men are only faithful as their options, but I think many men are only as faithful as their conscience. The ones that have them, don't cheat... options or not.

that is so true, as ricki lake once said - if he'll do it for you, he'll do it too you!

**Texasred** · 10-31-2009 09:41 PM

Interesting thread...

**AlleyWay** · 11-01-2009 08:00 PM

Your situation is backwards usually it's the girl who's madly in love and wants the man to leave his wife. By him telling you who not to talk to or go out on a date with it ridiculous you can't have your cake and eat it too. You may have to take a step back from the situation. It's easy to say hey stop what your doing it's not right but you can't control who you fall in love with. But your situation may turn into him doing something crazy or you getting emotionally hurt love does that to you. Good Luck.

**kailua** · 11-01-2009 08:45 PM

I am not one to judge another nor their feelings. But what I can comment on is that in my first marriage this happened, the only difference was we had been married much longer and had 3 young children at the time. After finding out, as much as he was not planning on me finding out, nor leaving me, it was betrayal, in many different aspects. How can someone trust the one they committed themselves to if they are able to do this. The end result, we are now divorced, my children will not have their parents together again. I would of rather my ex-husband come to me, let me know our marriage was over for him, as much as the pain would of been hard, it certainly would not have been as hard as learning of the betrayal. Nothing will ever be a secret forever, at some point it will come out, and how do you think his wife is going to feel. As much as he is totally a fault for this, you are just as much at fault knowing that he is married. Do you want to be the woman who helps to break up another woman's marriage. If I were you, I would not be able to live with this. Would it not be nice to have a man that is yours and yours only, no sneaking around, no sharing, no worries. I cannot understand how one woman can do this to another.
My ex-husband moved in with the woman he was having an affair with. Then she realized that what comes around goes around, he did the same to her. After the thrill and what they were doing was gone, so was the excitement and everyone paid the price.
What is the real reason you are seeing a married man? Would you like your future "love of your life" to cheat on you? You have the control to continue or stop this

**caterpillar79** · 11-02-2009 06:02 PM

Think about it this way: if he has done this to his wife - the woman he used to love, the one he thought he couldn't live without; he could do it to any woman he gets involved with. It is like a disease - it needs a cure. Only he can figure it out.

You will enjoy it now, but once you're over that "sparky" phase, you'll begin to wonder if his eyes nor heart are still set for you. We can never tell how it would be in the future. But what you do now, will greatly affect it.

**Ontheside** · 05-24-2010 12:41 PM

Hmmmm... I can relate, as I've been the mistress for almost two years. We have professed our love, but neither one of us can or will do what it takes for us to be together. Some days I'm happy about it, others I wish there was a way we could be together. The thing is, our professed love doesn't come with a committment and therefore it doesn't come with the ability to request that the other refrain from contact with our exes, or in my case he can't ask me not to date because he won't leave his wife. I also agree that it would be hard for us to try to make a go of it if he were to ever divorce his wife because there would be a trust issue. I'd wonder if he was cheating on me since he cheated on his wife. He'd probably wonder if I was faithful to him since I was willing to be the other woman.