Is 5 years really the magic number?

[kygirl]

I heard on the radio this morning that the couples most likely to survive are guys that are 5 years older and maybe *not* as intelligent that date younger women that *are* intelligent.

Any thoughts on this? I've dated from 5 years younger to 12 years older and I've had equal bad luck lol

[Texinator]

LOL Maybe that's my problem. I've never dated a woman five years younger. She's always been about my age or preferably a bit older than me.

[WildChild]

Like the internet, the radio (or TV) isn't exactly the best source on which to base your life. What was their source for this info? How do they define "surviving"? Places where divorce is not legal have really high rates of marital "success", that doesn't mean anyone is happy with it. Many well educated, so called experts are culling information to support a certain view or promote their latest book. It's actually rather amazing how many people are out there are "Experts" who actually have NO facts or valid studies to back their assertations. But money is being made.

That doesn't necessarily make their ideas invalid but does put it all more on the plane of religious type thought. If it resonates with you, it may be true for you. Eckhart Tolle is a case in point, his books have sold millions, people have changed their lives based on them, he is a "spiritual teacher". Another example would be Steve Santagati (one of many of either gender) he's written a book, made the talk show rounds and his qualifications are....? He was a "bad boy" and he wrote a book and has made the rounds of the talk shows.

No doubt there are people who are happily married or who have "successfully" stayed together with the profile of him 5 yrs older and her smarter. Anyway, who decides based on what, how intelligent either is, if he isn't so bright but is smart enough to land a babe who is, he can't be all that dumb.

[kygirl]

WC, Yeah it's not so much that I think it's accurate or not, I just found it interesting really. I mean, I think anyone who tries to set some magic age limit or qualities is just setting themselves up for disappointment, but I was just curious as to everyone else's thoughts and kind of "polling" if you will

I personally seem to have the best luck with someone 1-3 years older than I am, but again, I don't think that is set in stone. Just what my experience has been thus far.

[WildChild]

So far my best relationships have been with men a few years younger. As I get more mature I see increasingly that a lot of the men my age have settled into ruts I wouldn't be comfortable in, have some real health issues (I thanklessly nursed one, if I love someone who gets sick that's one thing- starting out that way is another) or have decided to be old. But then the LOML is 7 yrs younger and I don't know we will survive his bitterness and the old anger he carries.

[kygirl]

I think regardless of how old someone is, they have to be willing to adapt a bit. I think that can happen to people of all ages. That being said, they also have to be ready for a relationship.

I think so many people like the idea of being with someone until they realize it is going to involve a bit of effort. Not that it shoudl always be "hard" per se, but relationships do require a lot of give and take. Someone who is all into taking causes a lot of weight to be borne by the other party. I also find the term "relationship" has many definitions

[Texinator]

It comes down to compatibility and respect more than anything else, and how well a couple can keep the spark alive over the years and together handle whatever hardships life throws at them.

Compatibility doesn't have to mean they are mirror images of each other but it also involves how they deal with the differences that exist between them. And of course respect for themselves and for each other is a must.

I don't think it can be broken down into a neat little formula beyond that. Life is not an algebra exercise.

[Hopeless Dork]

I think all those stats are BULL.

I think a lot of younger women play it "safe" by dating men much older... not just because of their secure finances but they also feel a sense of 'he can't get no better than this, he ain't going anywhere'.

I think a lot of older men play it "safe" by dating much younger, seemingly less intelligent women... not just because of their youth and their "oh bob your so smart!!" but also their inexperience with life and their false belief that these women may be naive and easier to control.

Truth is love happens, people adapt and I don't think age and intelligence has as much to do with lasting power as fundamentally enjoying the other persons company does... having common interests, sexual chemistry, similiar beliefs on how people should treat and be treated.

[caterpillar79]

LOL Maybe that's my problem. I've never dated a woman five years younger. She's always been about my age or preferably a bit older than me.

You love cougars, don't you Tex? (I know, it's crazy that people come up with this brand for women).

[Texinator]

I do enjoy a good mauling! Haha!