clinical depression

[amandag159]

my younger sister is diagnosed with clinical depression for over 1 year, she is on meds, and she also takes panic attacks, as her family we want to do anything to help her, as her meds do not seem to be doing the trick, i have given her loads of information on support groups in her area and said i would go with her if she wants, she says she is ready for this and will call them to morrow, but never does, its always tomorrow. 2 weeks ago she asked her partner of 8 yesrs to move out to give her space, he rented not far so to keep an eye on her. we are at our wits end as a family including her 17 yo daughter who live with my parents, any thoughts woud be appreciated

[caterpillar79]

What caused her depression? Please give us more info.

[ItsASecret]

I am a true believer of science and pharmacological appproaches, however with clinical depression the only thing that seems to work is close social support. Forget suggesting therapy groups especially if she is against that therapy approach, which could be said by her not wanting to go. Just be there for her. Go over and have a coffee or even watch tv, do not make everything the focus of her depression. It is all about baby steps, depression has an enormous reoccurance rate so do not feel hurt if it seems to go away then comes right back a few months later. You will need to push for optomistic scenarios so that she can abandon the hopelessness and helplessness that she has developed. That will be very very difficult though. Nothing is going to 100% work for getting out of clinical depression. Meds do not always work which the doctor would have said, but sometimes a loving hug works better in the long run. All you can do is try.

[amandag159]

my sister was always a fun person to have around, she has a loving partner, child, good job, which she says motivates her to get out of bed and her dog, who she adores. no one can pinpoint a trigger, and nothing happend traumatic in her life, she said she just started to feel sad.
even if i cant make it to her house i call on the phone, and she seems to be cheerful at the end. she depends on my mom a lot but she gets so upset to see her daughter so down as my mom is 71 its hard on her. the only thing i can think of that could have caused this in her is her back condition, she has had a few unsucsessful procedures, she could have a major op but its 50/50 she could end up in a wheelchair, so she decided against it,that was about 2 years ago.
we just want to help her get better

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Amanda, it's very difficult to go through a disability, especially back and operations, it pulls you down...

It is depressing.

Personally? I had a fall in 1999, couldn't move for 3 months, without excutiating pain, I then met my then husband, he had a fall at work, 5 disks gone in his back.

For me, I had to change careers, I had managed restaurants all my life, as well as owning a small promotional company, worked in investigations and also had a business publication, all that was gone, I couldn't write, type, work...

For him, he was in Construction, earning exceptional money, and loved the sea, surfing, motorbikes, his whole life as he knew it was gone.

My Cousin as well had a back operation and it created more trouble and she had a walking stick, drugs, alcohol, just couldn't get off and still can't the wagon. She was a Nurse and no longer could lift patients, her life as she knew it gone.

Here's the good news:-


I changed Industries and tried Real Estate sales. I told myself I was successful, and I would be in this field as well and I worked the best of my ability 20hrs a week for 2 years, became top sales person, learn't to control the times I had pain, slow down in typing etc, and ended up owning a Franchise, which now is my own Company and I'm semi - retired.

My ex-husband took 3 years, of me showing him what I could do, before all of a sudden he bought an easier motor bike to ride, he continued to try surfing but it hurt, but he tried and he ended up realising that his job as he knew it wasn't possible so he studied and now owns his own company teaching what he did, and OH&S. Earns more.

My Cousin, bought a dog... And, all of a sudden her walking stick has gone, she works again as a Nurse part time and she still drinks, but she has a life again.

I suspect your sister, just lives for the day.. It's chores. Her child is grown and not living there, there is no pet puppy, there are no hobbies, she can't see a life in front of her, only the life she had.

So, my suggestion is that she needs to focus on what she can do and get out there and join something as hobbies go, have a puppy that she has to run around after, and see that things aren't as bad as she thought.

Buy her inspiration books of people that ended up in a wheel chair and where they are now in life, show her these three stories, of how people who felt their lives were over as they knew it, rose above it and because happy and successful and managed the pain easily by being motivated and believing.

She has to change her mindset and that wouldn't be easy, just doing chores, and living.

CW

[amandag159]

thanks everyone for you supporting comments