My girlfriend thinks I dislike our sex, how can I convince her otherwise?

[Joshua33]

I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a month now. We're like newlyweds as far as our sex drive, I can't keep my hands off of her.

She knows I've had a lot more partners than her and she already feels like I've had better. She tells me I'm the best she's had and doesn't believe me when I compliment her on her performance as well.

She says the reason she thinks that is because sometimes while making love I will have trouble finishing. I tried to explain to her this is simply because when I tire myself out, it can be difficult to have an orgasm; but she just thinks it's an excuse for not liking it.

I really care about this girl and want her to know that she rocks my world... I can tell that it really hurts her feelings, and now I feel bad because I don't want her to think she's falling short at all.

Any tips?

[WildChild]

There are some really dumb stereotypes about both genders and we need to lose them. One of them about men is that they are always raring to go and ready to explode. We've heard here over and over that it just isn't so. Be patient and work on educating her.

[pretzel]

Time may well be your best ally.

Dating a little over a month is still really new for both of you. Both of your past relationships are still something that hasn't totally become the past.

Give it time and let her become more comfortable with the whole relationship, not just the sexual part.

[nightqueen]

Be loud when you come, that should make her feel good.

[Hopeless Dork]

Can I ask you if you are masturbating inbetween your sex sessions? If so... why not try giving it a little break for a while... it will make you a lot more ready to go and ready to finish when you have sex with her and it will help her to feel better.

I know me and my bf use to have a similiar issue, and when he cut back on self-time... not only did he want sex more but he seemed to enjoy it more, finish up regularly etc... and it made me feel a lot more desired.

Just a thought!

[Antonia]

If you have trouble finishing most of the time, then she is right that you are not enjoying her. Being tired is only an excuse. Try to excite yourelf mentally. Thinking of a fantasy while having sex can really increase your excitement.

[LanaBear]

If you have trouble finishing most of the time, then she is right that you are not enjoying her.

Really? Personally I couldn't disagree with this statement more. I think it is perceptions like that that cause strife in relationships.

In a real caring relationship, it shouldn't be about 'finishing'. It should be about pleasure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, many people unfortunately equate the two.

For a man, it is possible to have an orgasm without ejaculating. Granted that ejaculation usually rides the back of an orgasm, but it doesn't have to be the case. There are orgasms on many different levels and they don't always include cumming.

Thinking of a fantasy while having sex can really increase your excitement.

If you are enjoying the person you are with to the fullest, you shouldn't have to think of a fantasy, unless it involves the person you are with.

[Joshua33]

HD, yes, I do masturbate between sessions sometimes (I have a very high drive, mid 20's male ya know) and yes I was aware of the side effects of it. I didn't at all yesterday and last night we were intimate four different times with no issues.

It's not always hard to finish Antonia, it really does depend on how tired I am. I don't know if this is the case for other men but if I am out of breath and have no energy it's very hard to finish.

Thanks for your comments, I think the solution may be to hold off on the solo games so that I'm extra horny when the time comes?

[LanaBear]

No harm, no foul on holding off on the masturbation. It makes things more pleasurable for all those involved.

[Antonia]

Being tired is an excuse. Not the cause of inability to continue. Sure it can happen once or twice, but claiming being tired all the time, is no excuse. When my husband is tired I take the active role and I make him orgasm. So can you do this. If you feel tired, let your partner take the active role. You say she fellates you to orgasm. This is good. She can also mount you to orgasm. But in order to attain the orgasm, your mind must be attuned high enough to reach there. If it is not, you won't get there. Here were fantasy plays a major role. Fantasise about something that really excites you and it will help you get your orgasm.