Ugly Days

[MrsDeadCeleb]

l know it's pretty normal for women to get upset about their appearance and we all have down days, but i'm really worried. i've never been like an overly vain person but i do want to be seen as attracive by my boyfriend -who is GORGEOUS. l guess i'm paranoid about him not fancying me anymore, which is stupid cos he can never keep his hands off me, and constantly goes on about how 'gorgeous' l am.

But for the past six or seven years i'd been seriously down about my looks, getting angry or teary whenever i looked in the mirror. As i said, i've never been obsessive about my looks, i don't expect (or particularly want) everyone to see me like my boyfriend does, but christ, i don't want to repulse myself.

When i met my boyfriend all those years of self-hatred kinda faded away and i started to appreciate myself. i'd never say i'm stunning, though i've lost count of the amount of times i've been described that way, but there seemed to be a change in me that made me begin to see what everyone else seems to.

But just the past couple of weeks the self-hatred has started coming back and i don't know why. l think it's partly cos i had really long hair before then i cut it all off to just above my shoulders. it's in a bob now cos i don't know what to do with it, which is annoying me in itself!

And i'm starting to just notice my flaws again, i can't ignore them, i can't see anything else. My nose has been broken since i was four ( i had an abusive mother ), my boobs are too small and weird shaped, i'm pale, i used to be a really severe self-harmer so i'm literally covered in big, white scars that turn purple when i'm cold (god help me this winter), i'm way too skinny (not through choice either, my boyfriend and i are struggling to get by and have both lost a lot of weight, he's lost four stone in six months!! i'm now seven stone -officially classed as anorexic), i could go on forever about it, but of course i won't.

lt genuinely doesn't bother me what anyone else on the planet makes of my appearance, i just want to appreciate myself and don't want my man to stop fancying me, we have a d*mn near perfect relationship, i absolutely worship him.

lt has been coming and going but for the past two days i just haven't been able to snap myself out of it like i always do and i don't even know why i'm being like this. i don't get it. Any ideas how i can stop this cr*p before i go back to my old self? Does anyone else get this bad?

[Melephant]

Yeah, i think most women get like that sometimes, nobody's prefect and we all have things we wish we could change. Your problem is though you don't see yourself clearly, you never have done

The way i see it, you've had a lot of sh*t going on the past couple of years and since you made all those sacrifices for your fella it's left you in a bit more trouble. Sure, he's happy and has benefited from all that you've done for him, but have you? No. You need to start being a little bit more selfish, ducky, and once you get back on your feet it will work itself out.

Chin up, you've got the perfect bloke, amazing friends (especially me ). Will come see you soon, you and C need your heads banging together lol. All both of you do is worry and blame yourselves for things xxx

[Melephant]

Lmao, that was meant to say, 'nobody's PERFECT' lol. But still, it helps prove my point lol x

[CHANDLERS WISH]

When you make a change about yourself that you "don't like" and in this instance with you, it's your hair, you are self - conscious and don't feel sexy, beautiful anymore, it's very natural.

Add some streaks to your hair, experiment with it. Straighten it and then place half a dozen soft curls for instance. Find a way in which you "like" your new hair cut now... and you'll note that this feeling your having will fade away.

CW