sort of orgasm problem

[m.hendry]

i would like some advice on how to overcome this problem, when my boyfriend is giving me clitoral stimulation with his hands ( his hands are better than his tongue) i find i cant orgasm, i can orgasm on my own fine, what he does is great it feels better than me doing it myself but i seem to get overly sensitive to the point its unbearabley good and i cant come from that because it just keeps building and building. has anybody else here had this problem or know how i can overcome it. like i said what he does feels really good soo much better than me doing it myself but i just cant get there.

advice would be greatly appreciated. thanx

[harrie carrie]

Is he trying for long enough,his he giving you the amount of stimulation that you need.

[rachel801]

Are you too nervous? I find that when I'm by myself I am relaxed, but when I'm with him I sometimes get too anxious about pleasing him, or how I look/sound that I have trouble climaxing. Try using a vibrator when you're riding him. Spooning or you on top (butt facing him) works best for me

[ItsASecret]

I am in the same boat as you. I can finish myself even though it takes quite a long time, but when I do finish I almost feel no satisfaction. The first thing that comes to my mind after is usually "well that would have been better if he did it". Sure the rush feels good but after I am just like...oh...k now what? I have only finished a single time with my boyfriend in the almost 2 years we have been dating and that was by rubbing myself while we were doing doggie. I can honestly can say that oral feels great but a few pushes, licks, swirls or flicks of the tongue does not give the same sensation as his fingers. My clit gets very very very sensitive after only a short period of time especially if we are having sex, so he cannot give me oral as a break during sex because the sensation is almost painful.

It is depressing when you have tried every every labeled "guaranteed to finish her" technique and nothing happens. No combination of nibbles, swirls, flicks, licks, strokes, pressure, or location variation has seemed to get that peak. Almost feels like a lost cause but I know I will not stop trying!

[m.hendry]

Is he trying for long enough,his he giving you the amount of stimulation that you need.

yeah he is giving me the stimulation i need, its always amazing when he does it and he does do it for ages, its like i get to that point where i feel like i could come but i just keeps getting more and more intense till the point am like ok you need to stop coz its unbearable now, its like its a constant orgasm if that makes any sense its so good it couldnt get any better, but its still not an orgasm.
When i do it myself its good as i said i can make myself come and its amazing but when he stimulates me the whole process feels much better and more intense, i just dont come coz its toooo intense

rachel801 yeah i do get very nervous sometimes when i think i look stupid, that could be holding me back maybe from relaxing, its just hard when its so good i tense up so much to the point my muscles are sore haha


ItsASecret yeah it is really frustrating ! i do get really sensitive really quickly aswell to the point its unbearabley good/can get painful. yeah and like you said i wont stop trying either its just like after a while your like c'mon! i must be about to come now, you start to put pressure on yourself to come which probably is gonna make you have less of a chance of it happening, but its something you cant stop really. Sometimes my boyfriend uses his fingers and it will get so sensitive and i'll try and move his hand away and he'll say " dont stop me, just relax, let it happen" n i'm thinking i wish i could its great but really cant take it anymore my back hurts too much from tensing up lol

[WildChild]

This is a mental block. Some where along the line, perhaps just buried in the general messages you got growing up, it's tabu to let go and experience this level of pleasure with someone else. There is probably a sense of it being "dirty" or "wrong". You want to be a "good" girl, don't you?

You have to work to bring yourself to understanding that you are a woman, not a girl and being "good" is not the value you want in the world. Good girls don't run companies, don't pay the bills, don't laugh outrageously, don't have orgasms and certainly not in public (as in with anyone else around). Good girls get patted on the head. Be good at things, rather that just "good". You can be a mature adult woman of integrity however, and be as orgasmic as you want.

It's all in your mind set and veiw of life. The first step is deciding what you want.

[OhThereYouAre]

Try using a vibrator when you're riding him.

She wants HIM to get her off. Not a machine.

[OhThereYouAre]

This is a mental block.

I agree.

[ItsASecret]

There is probably a sense of it being "dirty" or "wrong". You want to be a "good" girl, don't you?

Not with me lol. I want to be bad, I want to have those moments of being naughty while on the outside still looking perfectly innocent. I certainly did not grow up in a religious family, or have strict rules regarding how girls should and should not act. My thoughts came from school and education of how the body actually works. So in my maybe isolated case there is no historical hold backs and yet there is still no orgasm to be heard of.

[WildChild]

You have absorbed a way of thinking that creates a block for you. You need to get it into your head that your clit has only one purpose - pleasure. That because humans (and the Bonobo) are the only mammals that engage in sex without the female going into heat, you are intended to enjoy intercourse. It has more purpose than reproduction. It releases a host of hormones and chemicals in the body, designed to enhance our feelings of well being, mood and immune system, it is part of our social bonding process. You can find a ton of ways to show yourself that the working of your body suuports sexual passion.