sort of orgasm problem

[Antonia]

Your problem is too common. While most women can achieve an orgasm on their own, masturbating, most cannot achieve it with their partners. You say you are almost there, very close. May be you are trying too hard to get there. You may jtoo stressed and not relaxed enough to reach climax. The stress, self-imposed coming from the idea that I want to climax when I am with him. Surely there is also the notion of not feelilng too comfortable when someone is around. I am not sure if you mentioned intercourse. Are you having intercourse with him, and do you climax this way?

[nightqueen]

i would like some advice on how to overcome this problem, when my boyfriend is giving me clitoral stimulation with his hands ( his hands are better than his tongue) i find i cant orgasm, i can orgasm on my own fine, what he does is great it feels better than me doing it myself but i seem to get overly sensitive to the point its unbearabley good and i cant come from that because it just keeps building and building. has anybody else here had this problem or know how i can overcome it. like i said what he does feels really good soo much better than me doing it myself but i just cant get there.

advice would be greatly appreciated. thanx

Have him do it for a while, then stop and maybe be kissing you or something else, and then start again. That might help the sensitivity issue. have fun!

[m.hendry]

wildchild - i wouldnt say ive gorwn up in a religious family or a family that thinks sexual activity is dirty, all my family seem to be very open minded, however i will say that i didnt have a great first time with my first partner he was a nice person then when we broke up he pretty much tryed to destory anything i had, so i deffo have trust issues and issues with truley opening up to someone, like i can communicate with my current partner i'll do all sorts of things like wear stockings and suspenders, try doggy style, all diff positions etc, but i always feel i never really properly let go and enjoy the experience wether it be intercourse or foreplay, i am always thinking i look a mess. I dont know wether bullying when i was younger also contributed to my low self esteem.

nightqueen - i'll deffo try stopping and starting, thank you for your suggestion

Antonia -yeah i do put pressure on myself to climax with him, as its something ive wanted for a long time so yeah that probably does effect my chances of it happening because of the amount of pressure i put on myself i forget to just enjoy it, sometimes it just goes on too long after a while and i can get fed up waiting, this is like maybe 20 mins to half an hour of stimulating me. Where intercourse is concerned, i havent climaxed with him that way either, i'm actually still at the moment finding out what i like in there, i couldnt feel any pleasure of a long time, because i didnt know the spots that give me any so i'm still working on that which can be botheresome when i put pressure on myself there too to be able to feel something. its like a vicious cycle haha!

again thanx for all your replies xxx

[m.hendry]

oh! aother thing i forgot to mention which ive been thinking and reading up about and could be a really big contributing factor to my problems. I'm currenty on dianette contraceptive pill, i use it because i suffer from acne and its the only thing that keeps it away, when i did come off it a few months ago i felt a huuuuge spike in my sex drive like id get sudden uncontrollable urges that i wanted to masturbate or want my boyfriend at the time to do stuff to me, of course my acne came back again jst like it always does i went back on this pill and well, havent felt those kinds of urges since

[OhThereYouAre]

Why don't you tone down your solo sessions?

That will probably help.

[Loveshoes]

Unfortunately, contraceptives will definitely lower your libido. A price we have to pay, want ultimately clear skin, or can you try a different type of contraception and clear your skin a different way?

I've been with my dh for more than 20 years, I was never talked to about sex as my mother wasn't sure what to say or how to approach it. That comes from her raising, my girlfriends were always the ones to help and that isn't always ideal either. I was with my dh for 12 years before my first orgasm with him and then I wasn't even sure that it was what I thought. It took a while to let go and relax enough to be able to have one with him. Thank heavens that he's patient and kind or I would never have gotten here.

[OhThereYouAre]

I was with my dh for 12 years before my first orgasm with him and then I wasn't even sure that it was what I thought.

First orgasm EVER, or first orgasm with him?

[Texasred]

While most women can achieve an orgasm on their own, masturbating, most cannot achieve it with their partners.

I think that is just a bit too sweeping a generalization; if you changed "most," to "many," maybe it would be accurate.

[m.hendry]

OTYA - thank you for your suggestion i'll be trying that ... its just hard lol

Loveshoes - the thing is i tried everything for my skin, all different medications and creams, over the counter facewashes and creams, even tried some natural stuff dianette was the only thing that worked for me sadly. But i am going to come off it soon and try something i recently found and havent tried before so i'll trial that and i'm looking forward to getting my libido back full force, i'm just scared of my face getting worse again its soul crushing.

[WildChild]

Since you have described it getting very intense but you aren't orgasming. you may want to get him to try a technique of peaking you and bringing you down repeatedly. The book, Extended Massive Orgasm describes this very well. It allows you to build up to a level of greater responsiveness.