When is enough, enough?

[happy ending]

i think if your relationship was going to be something else, it would be it by now. if you can understand me. i just remember when i started seeing my fella, we would get together for a meal and then sex, then he would go home. after say a month he started hanging around more, staying over, we would make plans together etc, your relationship on the other hand seems to have gone backwards. what do you think is happening - is it growing, shrinking or remaining static?

[Gavin]

He sounds like a nice guy to me. Most women find it hard not to 'nag' for want of a better word. I sympathise though - from your perspective its never the right time to talk with him!

I think your being a bit demanding. Also, how can he know what you want from him if their is a communication issue? Women have a tendency to assume men are mind readers, which we are not! Instead try showing him you care with small gestures. Bake him a cake, ask him to go out to a movie. Hes not just going to make you an integral part of your life because you've taken a shine to him sweet heart!

[ThexMrs]

Yeah... It has gone completely backwards Happy. It started with his new job. That's when things started to come undone. He promised me that in 6 months of him starting this job that things would be okay. Then he switched it up and said in August things would be just fine. He can't keep a date to save his life.

I think that we are completely stagnant. I mentioned this to him a few weeks ago. He said, "I know, trust me, I know." But then did nothing to change in. I always get the "I know" or "I understand" but there is never any action.

Besides not seeing him, he doesn't ever call me. We only communicate via text. This is another thing that bothers me and I've brought it up but he says that he hates talking on the phone so I accepted that.

I'm not sure if this will help in the situation but here is a little background.

Jared is 32. (10 years older than I)
He's divorced.
He has two kids but no custody so he never sees them. (Long story)

[Texinator]

What are you getting out of this relationship?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Haven
I've read some of your posts, and it seems like what's motivating you is a desire to be desired.

My advice is to flirt with strangers. Make dates. Make new friends. Find people who like you for your personality. Other people don't see you the way you see yourself. Once a few people start treating you like you're valuable, you'll develop a more positive self-image.

I love this

Linds....

We want to believe what we hear..

"I love you"

And, in that we sit about and wait longer, to get things where we want them to be, because of it.

Only problem is this:-

"Only present he has bought me in 8 months is Plan B"
"Only place we see each other is at my place"
"Only thing that happens is sex"

You are a beautfiul looking girl, "shakes her shoulders really hard", You are young and sexy " tells her to look in the mirror", and you are keeping this person in your life because you want to win " she always has the last work " (quoted by DR), and as such, you are striving to do so.

Hate to be the barer of bad news but whilst he likes you as a person, he will not have a relationship with you, it's sex and that's all...

Any man that can't take you out somewhere, on-going and make you feel special, and buy you something better than a Plan B, needs not to feel your "specialness" that's not reserved for some jerk that is using you for sex.

Don't give in to someone like that Linds.. Your a better person...

Keep your dreams and beliefs for the next one who treats you right and make this jerk go and get his rocks off somewhere else.

x

CW

[Texinator]

Hate to be the barer of bad news but whilst he likes you as a person, he will not have a relationship with you, it's sex and that's all...

Yeah, sounds like Jared's not interested in more than being 'friends with benefit'

Linds, he doesn't make time to see you, he doesn't make time to call you, he won't go out on a date with, and sometimes he disappears for a while. But he's happy to come on over when he thinks sex is on the agenda.

It's alright if you're happy with this arrangement but if you're looking for something that is a serious and long-term relationship then you can do much much better than Jared. He's not interested in something like that and you shouldn't hold your breath hoping for him to change his mind.

You don't need luck, you just need to believe in yourself.

[ThexMrs]

I guess I just can't listen to what he says then... He asked me to move in with him back in June but I didn't because of the way our relationship is. He's talked about marriage with me and I just listen. He says that he wants me to have his children. I guess this could just be talk considering he acts the opposite way.

Thanks guys.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sweet, talk is good if you follow through with actions.....

He's not following through with actions and your worth more than that

[OhThereYouAre]

The only way to earn respect is by demanding it.

[KMonte85]

I honestly can't say because even though I'm not sure that he loves me, I wonder if he does in his own messed up way/version.

Why in the world should you have to settle for a messed-up version of love? If you've been together for this long, and he hasn't proven to you that he loves you, if you still need to question if he's telling you truth when he says he loves you... then in my opinion its time to move on, miss!

You should find someone who makes you feel the butterflies, someone who you know -without a shadow of a doubt- loves you! Emotional retards (pardon the un-PCness of that) are not worth the turmoil they will cause on you emotionally.