I'm a guy, and I can't understand her.. Ladies, please help me..

[vishva8kumara]

I'm writing this, with so much pain in my heart. I just can't understand woman!

I thought I could understand, and I thought everything will be fine.. She gave me so much hopes and dreams, and now she is changing. I don't know if I done anything wrong. Why do I deserve this. What is wrong!

It was exactly one year ago when she and I got to know each other, and we understood each other very well. We believed that we are soul mates and we are meant to be together. She has given me so much beautiful hopes and now it all looks like an illusion.

Everything was fine for a long time. Then some things changed in her life, but I didn't do anything. I was loving to her so much and did everything I can, for her good. But I couldn't be of much help.

Her lifestyle, way of thinking and so many things have changed recently. I didn't love her for appearance or anything of the outside. She is beautiful inside, still anyone wouldn't see that on the outside. It was her qualities, attitude, beliefs, faith, way of thinking and all the inner qualities I loved of her. I didn't expect much from her. I never asked her to do anything for my pleasure. I never asked her to change anything of her, because I loved her the way she is.

Another thing is that we are of two different ethnicities. We are in Sri Lanka and I'm Sinhalese and She is Tamil. I guess that would help you to understand the situation.

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And now she is changing. There is a huge gap building between us. I feel like each day she is getting apart from me. She say she still wants me. Recently she has been losing a lot of weight dangerously. She is having several health issues recently, but not getting any medical attention. That is one reason that I joined this forum, because I'm concerned. But she is not much concerning her own health, I don't know what happened to her! Her attitudes and many other inner qualities I loved are changing, as id she is as if going old rapidly. I'm so worried about her. Now she is with her parents and they don't seem to care about her health. If she comes to me, I would get proper medical attention for her, but I can't, I'm restricted.

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She says she is changing and it is normal for her. She says, once in a while she goes to Extremes and be extreme in different Lifestyles. She says t is her way to Try Different Lifestyles.

I'm afraid if she would change again. I don't know if I have been in an illusion, and if I liked her once when she was in an extreme of a Lifestyle she was Experimenting. Am I a part of an experiment she did? I don't know if I loved her when she was in an extreme and if she would change to someone else later.

I just love that girl I fell in love with, but if she keeps changing to different people, then how can I love her for those qualities. Then I have to just love her for her outer appearance so that I can love her when she is young. I loved her for who she is and not her appearance so I would be living happily for a lifetime. But now she is changing to a different personality.

She said that it is her way to change her lifestyle and personality once in a while and go to the extremes to experience. There are some exact words she have used.

I don't know. I loved her for who she is, and when that personality is changing, it hurts me so much. She still needs me and That's what I too want.

Sorry to be whining like a little kid, but this is a serious issue that turned my life upside down. I just don't understand woman. I don't know I would ever be able to understand.

Was I been in an illusion, was she pretending and was it just a phase she was passing when I liked her..

[Mes T]

Well. Your post is a little vague... I mean, everyone's personality changes somewhat as we grow older.

Have you talked to her about your concerns, in detail? What was her response?

[vishva8kumara]

Could there be any relationship with Hyperthyroxin..?

[kygirl]

I just love that girl I fell in love with, but if she keeps changing to different people, then how can I love her for those qualities. Then I have to just love her for her outer appearance so that I can love her when she is young. I loved her for who she is and not her appearance so I would be living happily for a lifetime. But now she is changing to a different personality.

She said that it is her way to change her lifestyle and personality once in a while and go to the extremes to experience. There are some exact words she have used.

I don't know. I loved her for who she is, and when that personality is changing, it hurts me so much. She still needs me and That's what I too want.

Sorry to be whining like a little kid, but this is a serious issue that turned my life upside down. I just don't understand woman. I don't know I would ever be able to understand.

Was I been in an illusion, was she pretending and was it just a phase she was passing when I liked her..

I am kind of curious as to how old you are? I know that I have changed (in some ways) many times over the past few years as I have figured out who I am. People I have dated have somewhat played in role in helping me figure out who I really was. I think people change... maybe not their true inner selves, but I have grown and matured a lot. I have discovered I am capable of more than I ever dreamed.

Maybe she is trying to just figure out who she really is. I broke a guy's heart about 8 years ago because I couldnt' be with him. I knew that no matter how much I cared about him, I'd never be happy till I experienced life. I'd talk to her and see where her head is. I don't think it's an illusion as you put it, but perhaps, just a transition.

Good luck to you!