GF has explicit photos on her cell phone of another man...

[GlitterAndStuds]

I'm going to agree that you shouldn't just bring it up out of the blue. No matter how you go about it, you'll basically be saying "Hey, so I was going through your phone behind your back the other day and found something I didn't like". Then the picture won't even be the issue anymore, it will be that you snooped. Now.... I'm in no way saying that I haven't been guilty of doing this before, but I haven't done it since. It never leads to any good.

I honestly don't think it's something to worry that much about, since it's from a long time ago, and there haven't been any others since. Although I can understand. I certainly wouldn't want pictures of women like that in my boyfriend's phone.

I'd go with CW or XMrs. suggestions about "coming across it" in front of her somehow. There's really no way to bring it up otherwise without throwing yourself under the bus.

[Tony two tone]

Thank you everyone for the replys. I have decided to never bring up the picture unless we come across it.

I dont want to start a new thread but I want to talk about this:
Something kind of related happened between us today involving her phone. I went over her house before work like I usually do and noticed she was getting a ton of texts. I asked her who it was and she told me it was her ex-boyfriend saying how she still makes him horny and how he wishes they could have sex still. She says she responded with "You had your chance" and "I have a boyfriend now".

I then asked her to show me the texts messages and she refused to. She showed me the "G" rated ones and none of the bad ones, saying "Somethings are best not for you to see. They will only make you more upset and will serve no good." Which led me to say "if you have nothing to hide show me the texts", and then it kinda went back and forth. I actually grabbed the phone from off the table, only for her to pry it from my hands.

After alot of fighting about how we shouldn't hide stuff from each other, I tried to put an end to this whole thing and asked her one last time if there was anything, be it text or pic, that would upset me. She replied no. So she just lied to me but of course I couldn't call her out on it(the photo of the guy).

I think were getting over this fight though. When I got off from work we kind of just talked it out with out fighting. where she repeatedly said how she hates keeping things from me and agrees we shouldnt keep anything from each other but the texts wouldn't have done me any good reading them.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think she realises that you have some jealousy but she is trying to tell you, think about it? She has informed you of the contents and you do seem to have a jealous streak otherwise the arguement wouldn't have occured think about it.

That's twice I said that lol..

Here's the thing... She is dealing with her love for you and her need for closure from him.

She probably didn't have closure so has the need to tell him what for at this point. That will stop, it will cease.

Where you have to worry is if it's still occuring 3 months down the track, in which case, at that point, you need to explain that you two have been together long enough for her to respect your wishes and stop the text messages, she has had her closure.

For now, I think she has a valid point...

Just see where it goes a little later ok..

CW

[Tony two tone]

I'm not gonna hide the fact that I am a jealous person, its just really hard for me to not show that I am. It just bothers me that she sees nothing wrong with his texts, and says "Hes just being a typical guy. All guys are like this.". She knows I want her to stop communications with him but it seems like her friendship with him means more to her then our relationship.

I am gonna try to let this go for now and see what happens down the road.

[ThexMrs]

That's a toughy. I am a firm believer in if you have nothing to hide, show me. I can see that she thinks that you are jealous and didn't want to upset you further however... She didn't have to tell you that they were sexual texts. She could have just said that they were from her ex. Also, if she said, "You had your chance, I have a boyfriend now." That should have been the end of the conversation. If he wrote back, she should have ignored him. She was feeding into this because truthfully, I'm sure she likes the attention and knowing that he still wants her. It makes her feel good, why wouldn't it? Are you sure that she is over him? I'm just wondering...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Let me ask you a couple of questions:-

1. How long have you two been going out together?
2. How long has it been since those two broke off?


CW

[Tony two tone]

We have been dating for 6 months and they were never boyfriend and girlfriend. She has told me that she wanted to date him and hoped that having sex with him would make him want to date her but it did not. She realized that nothing was going to change his mind so she refused sex until he was going to see her as his girlfriend. And that was going on up until she met me. She met him about a yr ago btw.

We had some more talks today and I know this is gonna sound cheesy, but she left a love note on my car while I was at work. I know that it was really hard for her not to show me the texts and tell me everything they said. I do trust her. I really do.

I just want to know what was so bad in that conversation that she couldnt show me. Was he trying to convince her to break up with me? Was he going into detail about past experiences with her? Was she saying things to him that she necessarily didnt mean but if I were to read it I would be hurt? I guess nobody on here can answer those questions. I am just gonna have to trust her.

I guess I'm not so much looking for an answer from anyone here about this anymore, well simply because nobody can give me a definite answer, but it has felt good to tell someone about this, and talk about it. I really dont have anyone to turn to except for this anonymous forum.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well, more than likely he's "hoping" she has'nt had sex with you yet and he's still trying.... I very much doubt, that she has been detailing her life with you, other than saying "you had your chance and I'm with someone I love now", it's kind of rewarding for a woman... All he wanted was sex, hense the explicit photo, she's not silly , she slept with you!!! And, is with you!!!! She is actually in my opinion a smart girl, and a mature lady, for her age....

Yep, go with the Trust, she is showing you her love, telling you don't worry and getting her revenge on a player, that's all it is.

Venting, talking, is good.. Your right, we can't answer but I bet I am right, .... Being a woman and women that have replied, we kind of know how it goes down...

So stay on this anonymous forum, there will be other questions...

Thanks for joining us.

CW