How do I stop thinking about him?

**Amber** · 11-20-2009 12:28 PM

Thanks everyone for your comments and ideas.

kygirl, I think I will try the journal. The way I'm going, it can't hurt.

**Texinator** · 11-20-2009 09:14 PM

What are your hobbies and interests, Amber? Is there any place where you can meet like minded people? Maybe just spending some more time out and about and getting to know more people might help take your mind off things. I know you said you keep thinking of your ex when you notice other men but maybe you'll soon meet one that will have you break that pattern and instead focus your attention on him.

**kim1985** · 11-20-2009 11:09 PM

One day you will meet someone and realise that every relationship, good or bad, has prepared you for this one person who is the one for you. Every heartache and every sleepless night, all the tears and all the doubt will be washed away when you find that person. It happened to me. I have been through breakups where i honestly thought i would never move on. then one day i met someone and i thought " wow what if i never dated this guy? or what if this break up never happened? we might not be together today and i might not be so happy"

**Amber** · 11-20-2009 11:19 PM

Tex, I'm my worse own enemy. I have been going out but no matter what i do, my mind goes back to him. Tonight I went out with a bunch of singles to a piano bar for a sing a long. The guy at the piano starts playing a song. Everyone sitting at their seats, sing along, getting the words from song book that they have printed up. Barely anyone has good voices there but it doesn't matter. It is actually kind of fun and I bet if I did that last year, I would have had a great time. But this time, it was ok, fun at times but most of the time I was forcing myself to have fun. But then I would sing part of a lyric that triggers a memory and I think about him. Or I just think all of a sudden that I wish he was there with me.

Yep, i know this isn't doing me any good but I can't halp myself. I'm doing a very good job of prolonging my misery. I'm guessing if I didn't think of him it may stop hurting quicker but I can't do that. I know I'm not suppose to be thinking this but I do miss him so much. It hurts so much.

I'm stupid. I know none of this is doing me any good. I keep telling myself that he has moved on and is not missing you, so stop it!!! Telling myself this works a little bit but I'll go right back to thinking about him later on.

I'm keeping myself busy this weekend, as I did last weekend. Yesterday was the concert with some friends, tonight the sing a long, tomorrow I'm going with a different group to see 2012, and then by the time it is over, probably just dessert at some place. Sometimes it is the same group of people, other times it is people I have never met before. Sometimes I will meet a new guy, other times I don't. But sometimes, like tonight, the guy is not in my age group. Way too old or too young. So I go out to just try and have some fun. Or more likely, just try to keep myself distracted, which I'm obviously not good at.

Sunday, I'm going to a bar with some singles to watch the Patriots game. I have been making sure I do my best to make new memories when it comes to football because that is a really sore spot. We had been looking forward to the season of football and we were suppose to be watching the games together.

But no one is going to make me give up my Patriots!!

I know there is not much anyone can say. I'm doing a great job of torturing myself and it is my own fault.

**Amber** · 11-20-2009 11:26 PM

Kim, I would like to think that guy is out there somewhere. Who knows.

**Texinator** · 11-20-2009 11:33 PM

He is. And he'll probably show up when you least expect it. Life is funny like that sometimes.

Then we'll get to have a 'Help, I can't keep my hands off my boyfriend!' thread.

**Amber** · 11-21-2009 12:50 AM

Originally Posted by Tex

He is. And he'll probably show up when you least expect it. Life is funny like that sometimes.

Then we'll get to have a 'Help, I can't keep my hands off my boyfriend!' thread.

Thanks Tex, I needed that laugh.

Something tells me the future boyfriend may not want me to get help on that.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-21-2009 01:14 AM

Amber, I know I don't post much on your threads, doesn't mean I don't read them

Your like a sponge. And, I sincerely mean that beautifully. You take what you think may help and apply it. You can work with theory and with practical.. You seem to work with theory and then put it into practice.

I admire that.

In addition little "family member" you have personality and spunk and geez so much belief, AGAIN, I admire you.

Here's one thing I am not sure of.

When we are "trying" to get past someone. We say, pfttt and get out there and date, go out there into bars, kareoke, singing, etc.

Good huh?

But, those places make us think, dream, remember...........................songs.......... ..people together.....................

I'm thinking, that you need to quit that just for a bit... and do things that you haven't done, that aren't part of reminders, and that can make you laugh, say wow, and scream at the top of your lungs and go weeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

It seems to me that all you are doing to get out there, is reminding you, as it would, songs, people, dating, he's nothing like mine, etc, etc..

That's just my thoughts

**Amber** · 11-21-2009 09:27 AM

I'm thinking, that you need to quit that just for a bit... and do things that you haven't done, that aren't part of reminders, and that can make you laugh, say wow, and scream at the top of your lungs and go weeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

It seems to me that all you are doing to get out there, is reminding you, as it would, songs, people, dating, he's nothing like mine, etc, etc..

CW, I'm not sure I know of much to do. I have feet problems. I can do some stuff but I can't be too active.

**caterpillar79** · 11-21-2009 09:32 AM

Hi, Amber. I have been following your thread, but sad to say, I was caught in the middle of the world of work and emotional backlog myself. I would look for some hobbyist' group that meet weekly. What do you love to do during your spare time - the ones that you used to do, wanted to try, and hope/wish you could try? (I have been in your situation 3 months ago).