Beating myself up

[Airmans Sweetie]

& yes u r right i think i should talk to him about it, we i do i see a difference in him. a good difference, he holds me & hugs me & comforts me. i feel such a burden with it though that i don't want to burden him with it. & i know it actuality it isn't a burden to him but i don't want ne one to ever feel wat i feel & if i can even speak aloud about it. i am thankful to have him cause it's in time wen i hurt about the event that he opens his arms even wider to me.
i also worry that even if i do speak about, it still won't help. i know it will take time but i would like to know that i just didn't cry & bare my soul & it didn't relieve me in some way. i guess that would b looking for instant gratification, isn't it?

[Airmans Sweetie]

well i'm no longer a shut in.
my husband's friend, bob (who i am friends with but i thought only by association....u know like we talk but never really do ne thing together without my husband) called me out & said not to be a shut in. him, his wife, & me went to the mall & sam's club while my hubby was at work & it made me feel so much better. so CW i'm a step closer to getting out, i'm giving it my all

[CHANDLERS WISH]

YAY!!!!!!1

Well that's a great start sweet.

And, IDK, I can't see how you "can't" feel better after telling the love of your life, the person you chose to share your soul with, bare your soul with

[Airmans Sweetie]

i just worry that i won't instantly feel better in some way. i worry a lot lol it is one of the things i am best at.....i will do so either tonight or tomorrow, gonna take alot of strength to do so. not to mention i was in a frump on saturday night & sunday night i was upset with all the emotions brought up over this so i haven't felt like i have been able to enjoy my time with aaron, has gone well today & i don't want to cry or ruin our night. so tomorrow is the day i speak up!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sweet... You won't feel "instantly better"...

Pfttt, see worrying makes you old, setting yourself free makes you young

I'm very proud of you, remember he married you for a reason and he is standing by you and emotions will come into play.

It will set you free with him as there are no longer ANY secrets.. Watch where your marriage will go from here...

Do it when you know the timing is right

CW

[Airmans Sweetie]

more steps to feeling better. i have gone outside with my dog every afternoon to play ball with her. & today i started working out while my hubby is at work, i'm having a hard time keeping up with the video (i'm not very coordinated, i have sprained, broke, fractured my feet, ankles, & legs more than 15 times lol). i going for it, i'm putting my efforts towards feelin better & being happier with myself & healthier

[Texinator]

Good to hear.

[Airmans Sweetie]

thanks tex!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ahhh, your inspiring me there Mam.. To remember myself, it's time to really put it all out there and JUST DO IT!!

Thanks.. lol's.

[Airmans Sweetie]

lol CW u have inspired me too, u have such a passion for life that i want. i love my life but i let my fears & worries overwhelm me.