how to spice it up...

[I_Have_Questions]

hi!
Do you guys have any tips for "spicing it up" in the bedroom?
I am not 90-60-90 and I do feel self conscious about wearing some things to seduce my hubby and don't trow out something thats completely unrealistic either... you know.. something that you have done and that has worked... whatever....
Any tips or ideas or advice are welcome...
Wanting to give my hubby a bit of a surprise one of these days..

[Ravsoma]

hi!
Do you guys have any tips for "spicing it up" in the bedroom?
I am not 90-60-90 and I do feel self conscious about wearing some things to seduce my hubby and don't trow out something thats completely unrealistic either... you know.. something that you have done and that has worked... whatever....
Any tips or ideas or advice are welcome...
Wanting to give my hubby a bit of a surprise one of these days..

-scratches my head-

I get the feeling that you're scared of expressing yourself. You get nervous wearing lingerie, you don't wanna touch yourself because you're embarassed. Maybe you need to break out of that shell before you concentrate on pleasing someone else. Make yourself happy.

[Irelandlover]

-scratches my head-

I get the feeling that you're scared of expressing yourself. You get nervous wearing lingerie, you don't wanna touch yourself because you're embarassed. Maybe you need to break out of that shell before you concentrate on pleasing someone else. Make yourself happy.

I agree with this, partly attraction for a man is having a woman who is confident with herself in the bedroom. If you are not confident you will not be able to let yourself go and therefore spice things up more. What are you not comfortable about? You are his partner he obviously funds you attractive regardless of the size you are. Get some proper sexy underwear, frilly stuff that will make you feel more comfortable and sexy. Be proud of your body, you are you - you're unique, your wonderful, you won a race against thousands (your mother and father making you, that sperm that won against all the others ) be confident in yourself.

[housewife]

I agree with the above posts,
take this for example,
Paris Hilton in my opinion is so unattractive, her chest is flat, she is as skinny as a skeleton,
but she acts like a beauty queen, and that what gives her glamorous appearance .

on the other hand, I was watching a show, it was an interview with a girl (guest) who was extremely beautiful, then she stared to talk about how much she hates the way she looks and she think she is fat...bla bla

then I personally started to see her differently, she was not as beautiful as the first minute of the show.

[Irelandlover]

I agree with the above posts,
take this for example,
Paris Hilton in my opinion is so unattractive, her chest is flat, she is as skinny as a skeleton,
but she acts like a beauty queen, and that what gives her glamorous appearance .

on the other hand, I was watching a show, it was an interview with a girl (guest) who was extremely beautiful, then she stared to talk about how much she hates the way she looks and she think she is fat...bla bla

then I personally started to see her differently, she was not as beautiful as the first minute of the show.

This is correct a male friend of mine thinks Christina Agulara (can't spell) looks like a transsexual, however because she behaves like she is beautiful most men seem to think she is lovely. I can't see why people think Paris is pretty wither.

[Iseult]

I agree with the above posts,
take this for example,
Paris Hilton in my opinion is so unattractive, her chest is flat, she is as skinny as a skeleton,
but she acts like a beauty queen, and that what gives her glamorous appearance .

on the other hand, I was watching a show, it was an interview with a girl (guest) who was extremely beautiful, then she stared to talk about how much she hates the way she looks and she think she is fat...bla bla

then I personally started to see her differently, she was not as beautiful as the first minute of the show.

I agree completely, it is all about confidence! (A sentiment echoed by all my male friends, I might add.)

To the original poster, following up Ravsoma's advice, would it be possible for you to have a day or even just a couple of pampering treatments at a spa? Make a day of it with some female friends, if possible. You would emerge not only looking great, but feeling great also and I'm sure your husband would certainly appreciate both!

If that is not possible, you can pamper yourself at home. Book a table at a lovely restaurant (or plan to cook his favourite food. Personally, I would choose the restaurant because it gives you more time to focus on yourself in the daytime) for a day when you won't have to work or leave the house. Tell your husband to make sure that he keeps that evening free, but that he should make plans to go out in the day and be back by a certain time.

Sometime in the days before, go out and buy yourself some gorgeous underwear. It doesn't have to be stereotypically 'sexy' underwear, if that would make you feel self-conscious; it simply needs to be beautiful, fit properly and it should be expensive! (I feel amazing when I am wearing gorgeous, expensive lingerie, even though nobody else can see it. It makes me feel sexy anyway. )

Also, take advantage of a clothes store with a free personal shopper. I'm not sure where you live, but here in the UK, Debenhams department stores have free personal shopping services. Make sure you book an appointment beforehand though, otherwise they may be booked solid when you need one. These people earn their living by making others look great, so between you, you'll be bound to find a great outfit for your big night. If this is all getting too pricey, choose to wear something you already own, that never fails to make you feel gorgeous. Oh, and hide your purchases! You don't want to spoil the surprise.

On the big day, see your husband off and spend all day getting ready for the evening. I mean it: all day! Play music that makes you feel relaxed. Wallow in your favourite-scented bubble bath for as long as you like, de-fuzz, exfoliate and moisturise every inch of yourself. Then Give yourself a manicure and a pedicure. Do all those things that you never usually have time to do. Relax and take it easy all day. Phone your husband and tell him that you have a big surprise in store for him later and tell him that he'll really like it! As the evening approaches, slip in to your new lingerie and clothes, do your hair and make-up and put on your perfume and jewellery. You should, by now feel fantastic.

Lay out something suitable for your husband to wear and greet his return with a glass of wine. He will, naturally be delighted at the beautiful vision you are. Once he's showered and dressed, have some wine together and go to the restaurant, where you will enjoy some great food while you flirt outrageously. Later, return home together in the mood for love. If he has managed to keep his hands off you up until then, it will be quite an achievement!

[alibaby]

Now if that scenario doesn't spice things up, I don't know if anything will.

[seashoremaine]

Are you trying to spice it up for you or for your husband? Iseult has some good ideas, but that sounds more like a womans fantasy than a guys?

The other day I surprised my wife with a note with specific instructions for her to go upstairs (I had lit candles and put on music in our room) and follow some instructions on the note. The instructions included things like taking off her shirt, putting on a blind fold, hands against the wall, etc. The note then said I would join her shortly.

Anyway it turned out to be a totally erotic experience for both of us. Even though this scenario involved a blind fold (we never use a blindfold) it was not too kinky at all. Any couple could do it and have a good time!

If you interested I could provide more details.

-J
seashoremaine*yahoo.com

[Iseult]

Are you trying to spice it up for you or for your husband? Iseult has some good ideas, but that sounds more like a womans fantasy than a guys?

I'd just like to clarify that my ideas are intended primarily for the original poster's benefit, rather than her husbands; the purpose being to get her to fell better about herself before thinking about seducing him. The things I have suggested are not a fantasy, they are the preparation for a positive mindset; her positive mindset.

[seashoremaine]

Iseult: Got it. Thanks for the clarification.

As far as body image goes, if you are in a secure, loving relationship, then you just need to keep telling yourself that your partner is there because they love you and the way you look.

The best body image/self esteem builder (in my mind) is to have your partner clearly display desire for you. It's pretty hard to feels bad about your body when your parter is whispering in your ear all the things they would like to do your naked body in bed. You know what I mean?

Do the day of papering, but then top it off with something a that will drive him wild. You will have him eating out of your hand and you will know that you are the queen of the palace!

-J