Men's thinking/Women's thinking

[SaraSmile]

deleted. deleted. deleted.

[sourpuss]

I have trouble with this topic I suppose. I assume everyone should be like me, which is just ******. When I am in a relationship there is something in me that turns off the rest of the world. I feel no physical attraction to other men at all. Fantasizing about other men when masterbating does nothing for me. However, the last guy I dated spent a lot of time online with other girls and watched some porn. I tried to be the open-minded girlfriend and not smother him and act all needy. It ended up at the point that I no longer did anything for him physically. He was more excited to get online and cyber with someone or look at porn. In the end my self esteem was crushed and I have serious trust issues. So much for being open minded.

[C]

Just starting under this topic so that we can get other opinions (if their are lurkers, etc.) since it is not just about masturbation.
rcoreyus asked if if would be okay for another man to fantasize about us (as women that are not that man's SO). That is sort of tricky. Yes, our female ego wants other men to desire us, I think. Just like men want other women to desire them. But I don't think the other man's SO would like him fantsizing about me, and I hope he doesn't...for her sake. I, personally, don't get a big charge out of it. I just want to know I am attractive, which is harder as we get older.
**Do you men feel comfortable with anything your SO may fantasize about (with exception to illegal or far out stuff)? Are you men comfortable with other men fantasizing about your SO (women)?
I am hypocritical sometimes. Sometimes I don't let myself see my SO's point of view. Recently, I have been trying to see how he feels...be in his shoes a little bit. I have been trying to go more with some urges to masturbate. Trying to use what feels good instead of waiting around for my SO, which means bringing out the rabbit (LOL). I did that today while he was in the shower! LOL. However, I still am not fantasizing like the men here say they may fantasize. I really just go with the feeling. I don't have to think about men or situations to feel those sensations in those places. Men and women are soooo different, indeed.
I guess all relationships cycle a bit. Maybe this will be a phase where we (my SO and I) masturbate alone more and have sex less. I am trying to understand and enjoy what I can. Maybe he needs a break. NOT that he has been mastubrating a lot most recently, but I feel like he wishes he could more. I think he wants to feel free to (masturbate and watch porn to stimulate himself) like he did last year when I did not question him and didn't think about it.
In hindsight, I wonder why I didn't want to know then and now I am the opposite and have wanted to know the details lately. Some insecurities must have popped up. But he has given me a lot of answers. I am not sure he is telling 100% of the truth, but I think he tried to be pretty open. He's a good guy.

I love Eric my vibrator. I even made up a blog for him. I, as a woman knows my own sexual places. A man knows his. This is good and this is bad. It is too easy to replace a machine or in a man's case his hand for the real thing. Yet saying this I will always use Eric to keep me doubly alive.. He brings me on. He brings on my sexual fantasy higher but without a doubt even though my orgasms are stronger with my machine, they are more pleasurable with my man. I am now able to tell my man each place to do it, how to lick me out, when to pull my nipples and everything else. All this from hot orgasms and releasing the innermost part of me. I feel that the filling of my inner sexual parts and the closeness of two people sharing this sexual act can never be substituted.

I am sure each man has his own fantasy of a woman. This would have no interest to me as it is my fantasy that I am interested in. Each man is different. What one man thinks could be a disaster using with your own man who does not think this way. Each partner is different. It is more important for a woman to find her sexual self and go forward....Just my thoughts on this.

[SaraSmile]

I have trouble with this topic I suppose. I assume everyone should be like me, which is just ******. When I am in a relationship there is something in me that turns off the rest of the world. I feel no physical attraction to other men at all. Fantasizing about other men when masterbating does nothing for me. However, the last guy I dated spent a lot of time online with other girls and watched some porn. I tried to be the open-minded girlfriend and not smother him and act all needy. It ended up at the point that I no longer did anything for him physically. He was more excited to get online and cyber with someone or look at porn. In the end my self esteem was crushed and I have serious trust issues. So much for being open minded.

I know what you mean! I tend to isolate with my lover also. And porno can be addictive, IMO. It's tough. However, by masturbating, I do see the benefits of having some alone time. Like I said,...tough subject.

[SaraSmile]

I love Eric my vibrator. I even made up a blog for him. I, as a woman knows my own sexual places. A man knows his. This is good and this is bad. It is too easy to replace a machine or in a man's case his hand for the real thing. Yet saying this I will always use Eric to keep me doubly alive.. He brings me on. He brings on my sexual fantasy higher but without a doubt even though my orgasms are stronger with my machine, they are more pleasurable with my man. I am now able to tell my man each place to do it, how to lick me out, when to pull my nipples and everything else. All this from hot orgasms and releasing the innermost part of me. I feel that the filling of my inner sexual parts and the closeness of two people sharing this sexual act can never be substituted.

I am sure each man has his own fantasy of a woman. This would have no interest to me as it is my fantasy that I am interested in. Each man is different. What one man thinks could be a disaster using with your own man who does not think this way. Each partner is different. It is more important for a woman to find her sexual self and go forward....Just my thoughts on this.

Yes, each man is different, for sure...but yet they are the same in some ways too! I take what I want to (as far as opinions) and leave the rest....
But men can give you great insights into things...especially male thinking, in general! I cherish this board (so far) for that! It helps you get a grip on what is going on when you have no clue! LOL
As for the vibrator...yeah, it can teach you about your body, if you need to learn! But, I agree......nothing replaces making love and that physical closeness.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

We do indeed think in different ways, and I think it's true that men rarely if ever switch off from other sources of sexual excitement wheras women seem to quite often. It is an instinctual/genetic based thing...

I am very lenient with my partner in all sorts of ways, about anything, so I guess I expect the same thing. But then my idea of a good relationship is not feeling like your stuck in a cage, and I see freedom (and freedom from nagging) as paramount.

Society and maybe genetics to some degree has probably set back women sexually compared to men, they have more inhibitions etc etc. Sex is more of a physical thing for a man than for a woman, whilst a woman might only be able to enjoy sex with someone she trusts and loves, a man could happily have sex with a psychotic as long as she was pretty. A woman thinks about having sex with a man as a by-product of having feelings for him (?) wheras when a man thinks of sex he's not really thinking at all, at least not with his brain.

On a side note, it's good to know that some people appreciate a male response, I saw some people whining about how only women should be allowed to post here and that just seemed insanely counter productive and ignorant.

[Fallen1]

a man could happily have sex with a psychotic as long as she was pretty.

Don't mean to stray to far off of the subject but this brings up a question I've always had. I have often wondered if it is the thinking (maybe subconscious) of a man that just because a woman is pretty that it will make the sex better. Is it when he sees a beautiful woman he wants to have sex with her or just wants to have sex?

I'm myself am with sourpuss ... I tend to turn everyone other than my s/o off. I have no desire to be with anyone other than him.

[sourpuss]

I know what you mean! I tend to isolate with my lover also. And porno can be addictive, IMO. It's tough. However, by masturbating, I do see the benefits of having some alone time. Like I said,...tough subject.

I have plenty of alone time and think that my partner should as well. But I also think that fantasizing about someone/something other than your partner can be dangerous. For some it can really affect the sexual relationship between the two, especially when one is not as exciting as the other's fantasies.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Don't mean to stray to far off of the subject but this brings up a question I've always had. I have often wondered if it is the thinking (maybe subconscious) of a man that just because a woman is pretty that it will make the sex better. Is it when he sees a beautiful woman he wants to have sex with her or just wants to have sex?

Men like to be aroused while they have sex... Seeing an ugly girl can quite easily turn a man off. And for men, as for women, the more mentally aroused he is the more he will enjoy sex. It's also true that a pretty girl will make a guy aroused, thus making him want sex...

[sourpuss]

We do indeed think in different ways, and I think it's true that men rarely if ever switch off from other sources of sexual excitement wheras women seem to quite often. It is an instinctual/genetic based thing...

I am very lenient with my partner in all sorts of ways, about anything, so I guess I expect the same thing. But then my idea of a good relationship is not feeling like your stuck in a cage, and I see freedom (and freedom from nagging) as paramount.

Society and maybe genetics to some degree has probably set back women sexually compared to men, they have more inhibitions etc etc. Sex is more of a physical thing for a man than for a woman, whilst a woman might only be able to enjoy sex with someone she trusts and loves, a man could happily have sex with a psychotic as long as she was pretty. A woman thinks about having sex with a man as a by-product of having feelings for him (?) wheras when a man thinks of sex he's not really thinking at all, at least not with his brain.

On a side note, it's good to know that some people appreciate a male response, I saw some people whining about how only women should be allowed to post here and that just seemed insanely counter productive and ignorant.

All too true. What a bummer.