Am I the only one NOT getting it?

[andigail6]

This is embarassing, but my boyfriend refuses to go down on me. Absolutely refuses! I do everything he wants (and have for five years), but he says, "I just don't do it, thats all". I feel guilty for even asking, but I need to feel like my body is special to him and he desires to please me. I have read alot on here that says, "many women don't give BJ's". I do, but I think maybe I should stop until he gives in and pleasures me. I hate to give ultimatums, but I can't just go the rest of my life without it. He makes me feel like that area is gross on me or something, like it's good enough to play with but not taste. It bothers me so much that I don't even climax anymore from normal sex. What's weird is that every guy I've been with has been totally into it, so now I feel like maybe something's wrong with me (the look of it, or taste IDK). I know you're all saying TOO MUCH INFORMATION, so I'll stop. PLEASE HELP!

Okay... here's the thing... the very same thing happened to me. I've been with my b/f for 5 years now but in the begining...I was always giving him oral but he would never do it to me. One day I think 3 years ago I asked him about me always giving him oral but what about me. He told me honestly and truthfully (after beating around the bush about it..no pun intended) that he really did not think he'd be able to do it properly...basically he just felt insecure about it because he had never experienced giving oral to a girl before. Of course now everything is fine now...and I can tell you...WOW!!! now but anyways, I think you just might have to talk to him about it... Maybe he is just afraid...I don't know... the best thing is just to talk to him

[bellasmom]

Okay- so I OFFICIALLY DON'T DO IT EITHER! I'm done exploring sexually with him, I'll take care of myself. After all, a woman can orgasm BIG TIME from masturbation, whereas, a man will not have some mind-blowing, life-altering experience from choking his chicken!

[Still Nobody]

Okay- so I OFFICIALLY DON'T DO IT EITHER! I'm done exploring sexually with him, I'll take care of myself. After all, a woman can orgasm BIG TIME from masturbation, whereas, a man will not have some mind-blowing, life-altering experience from choking his chicken!

Good for you, bellasmom. Now he can experience the frustration firsthand
Maybe, sooner or later, he will get with the program, and start taking care of you the way you've been taking care of him all this time.

It's just too bad it had to come to this, and you couldn't talk to him about it. But, when all you can get out of him is: "I just don't do it."
Well, it didn't sound like you had much of a choice.

I hope things work out.

[lilly41]

try and talk to him and like what you said you won't give him bj's if he doesn't go down on you fair is fair aye?.lol its not a big deal of a thing tho i;ve had it twice in my marriage life in 20 years as long you enjoy your sex life. good luck with it

[heatherh]

I am on the side where I give my wife oral a lot and she wants it and I love doing it for her, it is vert erotic and a turn on for me knowing she enjoys it so much but she will absolutely not do the same for me and when I asked her why she said it is gross and degrading for women to put a penis in there mouth, so why is that the case but it is a necessity for me to do it to her?

[metboogie]

This is embarassing, but my boyfriend refuses to go down on me. Absolutely refuses! I do everything he wants (and have for five years), but he says, "I just don't do it, thats all". I feel guilty for even asking, but I need to feel like my body is special to him and he desires to please me. I have read alot on here that says, "many women don't give BJ's". I do, but I think maybe I should stop until he gives in and pleasures me. I hate to give ultimatums, but I can't just go the rest of my life without it. He makes me feel like that area is gross on me or something, like it's good enough to play with but not taste. It bothers me so much that I don't even climax anymore from normal sex. What's weird is that every guy I've been with has been totally into it, so now I feel like maybe something's wrong with me (the look of it, or taste IDK). I know you're all saying TOO MUCH INFORMATION, so I'll stop. PLEASE HELP!

As a man who loves oral sex (giving and receiving) I have come across women who don't do it and don't like to receive it. I have also heard some guy friends jokingly say they don't go down on women, but I always took that as a macho thing (not wanting to admit it).

Honestly, you've been with him 5 years. Is this something you are willing to live the rest of your life with? It seems like it is already affecting your relationship...if he is unwilling to change than you need to move on.

With all the things we sacrifice in our relationships, this is not one of them.

I'll tell you this - when my wife and I first started dating we were sexually active. I was always going down on her but she never returned the favor. So one day she asked what she can do to please me (I miss those days) and I told her. She said she never did it before and wasn't comfortable with the idea - she thought it would make me think less of her (she was raised in a conservative Christian family). I told her I wouldn't try to force her, but that I wouldn't think less of her. I would actually think more of her knowing that I was the only guy she had ever done it to. A few weeks later she finally did it (badly), but grew into it. Now when she does it, she is really into it...

So there is hope - but after 5 yrs it's barely a glimmer...

[DrJ]

Interesting problem, this differing desire thing...... I had never met a woman that did not practically beg for oral receptive sex until my current wife. Previous loves have had multiple orgasms until exhaustion from this technique. Still, there exist women who genuinely do not like oral sex performed on them. A curiosity to be sure. My wife seems to be super sensitive around the clitoris and says the stimulation almost hurts. Probably genetic or something. I do miss the lushious sweetness , taste, smell of it all...........sigh............

[Cinnamommy]

You know there are a lot of guys that don't have "good" experience, Il shall say. I wouldn't take it personal, being the smart axx that I am, I would get tot he bottom of it, as to Y he doesnt do it, lol
My new husband has a problem wih me having an orgasm till I analized his scale of experience. We talked and researched, lol, now its a lot better. Never put yourself on the table, until U analize it.

[ezzie]

I have the same problem...sigh....
We've been married for only 5months, and he did this to me only twice. From his stories when he boasts about his bachelor days, he says that word go around how good he is..The thing is, he was grossed out at first by my hair down there, but since then i have been shaving it all, and he knows it, and he still doesn't do it...

[C]

You know a woman has two mouths to speak with. One is between her legs. She must learn to tease her man with it and manuever it sexually and talk her sexual talk to bring him to where she wants him to go. She has to learn to let herself free and drive her man wild......I really did that two days ago and never but never have I been that deeply engrossed in sex. I got f*cked half on and off the bed. Become his porn queen. Do all the things that you always wanted to do....Take off the chain....Now I have to get out of here or I will lose my happy home.....