i cant cope

[CEBOULD]

i have been talking to a lady at work about religion and tring to get past losing my baby but i cant every time i see a baby it hurts every time i see a pregnant lady it hurts i was watching a tv show where a lady was doing her nursery and i burst into tears and could barely breath its been all most two years and it feels like it happened yesterday i dont know how to stop being so weak b4 i got pregnant i had a wall up i would not show emotion i felt strong now i feel as if my life is falling apart the father and i are not together even after we buried her i could not get pregnant the doctors dont know whats wrong with me i cant focus i try to push every thing in the back of my mind but i cant and talking about it makes it worse i feel im in this world by my self and there is no help noting works nothing helps i dont know what to do

[bzmum6]

I am sorry to hear you have had to go through something like this, you should have a support team of family and friends around you for one, especially since the father isn't around. It seems to me that you are not only dealing with the lose of your baby, but the lose of your partner in a short amount of time. it is only my opinion but I feel it's important that you seek professional help, after two years of trying to on your own it sounds as if you are dealing with extreme depression over this, which is difficult for many many women, but you shouldn't have to go through it alone, and sometime when we get in that pit of despair we need the extra help to climb out. Your not crazy, you just need the support. This is a great forum for that as well. please seek medical advice about why you are having difficulty conceiving because sometime it can be over come, and if not, alot of times it is easier to accept if you know the Why's. And definetly talk to a Greif Councilor, This can't bring your loved ones back but it sure can help to teach you how to cope day to day.

[sweet30s]

gosh not sure how to begin to say how much I understand you.........I lost 2 and the second baby my husband saw come out, it was a horrible time. I felt just like you, like no one understood, the pain was overwhelming, seeing other babies or women pregnant was undescribably painful. So sweetie you are not alone, I sure as heck know and understand you. And just like you I almost lost my marriage, by a thread it survived, but sometimes I wonder.....

Anyway, my suggestion......seek therapy and speak to a DR. I get the feeling your are suffering post partum depression, a very serious thing, which by the way I went through and by the way it was a rough road.

First thing you must get on antidepressives....and please don´t make the number one mistake everyone does....don´t get on them and not seek help. Pills are a momentary way to get you off the dark hole, but to really resolve the issue you must talk to a therapist. The pill is not the solution, the solution is the therapy. This is why so many are on the pill forever. What I mean before everyone here jumps on my neck, is that not everyone needs to be on the antidepressive pill forever, just a few and I do know of ceratin circumstances, but in general after therapy the pill should not be needed.

So please, seek help, I don´t know your financial status but should it be difficult there are programs that will give therapy prices based on your income. I just finished a very intense 6 months of therapy and I feel I have grown as a person and I feel and think differently, and yet I know I must continue for about 6 months more.

I wish you the best, I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

P.S the pain never goes away but you do learn how to cope with it and how to put it in a little box deep in your emotion closet.

[AfterChildren]

Let me start off by saying that I am sorry for your loss. Be it recent or not, the pain never fully goes away. I went through it myself, 3 times in the past 6 years. I will not go into the details, because they are irrelevent and I do not want to bombard you with my memories when yours are are still painful. My point is I can understand how you felt at the time and how you are feeling now.
I do believe that you should seek counceling... Maybe not the meds, (they can tend to make you feel worse,) but you need a person that you can talk to. Someone who can help you sort out your feelings.
Just know this, (if you choose to ignore counceling,) YOU WERE NOT AT FAULT!!!!!! It was not something that you could've changed, and it is not something that you should feel guilty about. We are here for you, unprofessionaly of course, but we can give you what help and support we can.
Please take care.

[running_gal]

Oh my gosh! You do not deserve to go through this pain, no one does. You should find someone to talk to. It's too bad that you do not have anyone to depend on. Can you find a grief counselor? I know it may be hard at first to talk to someone about it, but in the end it will help for you to get it out. If not for yourself but for your baby? I have not gone through your situation but it doesn't seem like the pain will ever fully go away but talking will hopefully make it so you can live life better. Good luck, glad you came here for help.