Toy advice needed

[VagabondIVI]

Gah! Okay, I'm going to try and explain this. I'm really frustrated.

I'm twenty-something and I've never had sex but I do have a healthy sexual appetite and I like to think I know my way around my body. I'm finally in my own place, so to celebrate I went online and bought a sex-toy. (That's what you do when you get your own space--you run around the house nekkid and play porn in the living room cuz there's no one to walk in on you).

The toy is a dildo/vibrator. I think they're called rabbits? They are just slightly curved (supposedly for g-spot stimulation, I dunno) and then there's another smaller protrusion in the shape of an animal for clitoral stimulation. Mine's a panther (Growwwwl).

Anyway, I was really really REALLY excited about this toy. I've never had one before but I've tried to masturbate with the handle of a hairbrush and was bored to tears. I figured this would be waaaay better. So I got all relaxed, practically drowned myself and the toy in lubrication (its still mortifying for me to buy that stuff at the market) and . . .

Well, to be blunt, I just couldnt' frikkin get it in. It hurt. I could barely get the head in. I tried more lube, I tried different positions, I tried putting my fingers in first and trying to, I dunno, stretch out. My fingers did fine but with the toy all I managed was to go 'ow ow ow' and get myself really really frustrated and completely turned off. And it made me have to pee.


What the heck am I doing wrong? This is not rocket science. The toy isn't giant or anything. I'd even say its a bit smaller than 'average'. (I had no problem sucking it. ) So WTH! I can't be THAT tiny down there. What's going on? Please please help.

[Little]

Well ... you could be that tiny down there! I am!
I, too, just bought my first sex toy ... curved for G-spot stimulation, and 1.5" thick. It's too big. I can't use it for penetrative masturbation. I'm too small; I'm not even a virgin anymore but I had a very hard time beginning to have sex because of my size.
You can "work yourself up to it slowly," but I know that's not what you want to hear ... I was excited about my toy too, and really ticked at myself for getting something too big.
Don't do anything that's going to hurt you down there. In the meantime, just turn up the vibe and use it on the outside; that's what I've done.
Good luck

[rcoreyus]

Slightly off topic, but if you are embarassed by "buying stuff at the market" - and a lotof people are, there are online shops like goodvibrations that sell lube, and a vast array of toys of all sizes and types.

[LadyLane]

Well you said you're a virgin, so of course, penetration with anything bigger than a finger or two is going to feel like, well, a penis. It can definitely hurt.

What you can try - and I'm of the opinion that its no big deal whether or not you get it in, because you wouldn't have vaginal orgasms right away. The first time you have sex, it generally hurts. So I think that what you should try is to get yourself to the point of having an orgasm, using fingers, the vibrator, the panther part, etc., and then give it a try. Don't just lube up and try to get it in there, I think you should be really aroused before you give it a try - just like you would be the first time you would have sex.

[VagabondIVI]

curved for G-spot stimulation, and 1.5" thick.

Yeah, that pretty much sounds like mine. Urg! I can't believe it'd be that big a deal! (porno movies have LIED to me!!) I mean, aren't there sixteen year old kids having sex and I can't take a little toy? I'm 6'0'' and about 175 lbs. I'm not some tiny little girl that's going to break in half, but I seriously felt like there was no where for that darn thing to go. I was honestly uncertain if I was even aiming right. (straight up, slanted?) Freaking pelvic bone was in the way.

What the heck do I do when I start having sex then? I don't want to decide to have sex and then be like "OW! WTF! Get off me! That hurts, you moron!" Mood killer. Really.

--rcoreyus: Thanks for the recs. I'm leery of online shops so its great when someone can let me know what's good.


--Ladylane: 'Urg' once more! I thought all that "Take me gently, Horatio. Ouch! My hymen!" stuff was romanticized bull crud. Was I wrong? Why are we doing this if it hurts? Actually, the reason I chose a penetrative toy is because I really really like my fingers in there and I wanted to explore that.

Thanks for the advice, I'll try that. I did try to relax and get really into it that first try but I was more like a woman on a mission. I was wondering if I should try getting it in post-orgasm but I think (I'm not sure) everything's even tighter then.

[Little]

I'm 5'8" and in the vicinity of 170 ... doesn't matter how tall a person is; just like short guys can have big "tools," tall women can have tiny vaginas.
Just take it slow ... it's not even necessarily your "hymen;" most women wear that out and away by the time they get to puberty thanks to activities like bike-riding and horseback-riding ... it may just be that you were blessed with tinyness inside.
My toy is a lot harder and gives a lot less than a human penis. Not to say that it's very hard at all or by any means solid, but in case you've never been up close and personal with a penis, it's nothing like a toy. Even when it's "hard as a rock," it's not quite the same as the toy. So when you find your first partner, "SLOW" will be the best word ever. There's no such thing as too slow (so long as you have enough lube,) by the way. There's also no such thing as too much lube your first time, or too much foreplay, either.
But there is such a thing as "too big" when it comes to men (don't let anybody tell you otherwise!) So cross your fingers that when you fall in love/get married/whatever your stipulation is before sex, that the man isn't so well-endowed. The average man is smaller than those toys, and I thank God for that.

[Celeste]

(That's what you do when you get your own space--you run around the house nekkid and play porn in the living room cuz there's no one to walk in on you).

That's real funny by the way lol. I have always been surrounded by my boyfriend and our male roomate and all their **** dirty guy friends, so I hardly ever get to watch porn and run around nekkid with sex toys lol!


Anyway, I am super little down there. BUT I lost my virginity when I was 15 (but didnt have sex for another year) and have been having sex regularly ever since. (im 22 now) I have orgasms pretty much on demand, or not if I want to wait, and can have up to several each time we have sex. I am super tiny, but am accustomed to sex now, with a guy that is bigger than your toy. There is no quick fix! You will have to work your body up to where you want to be. It just takes a little time and experience. I didn't really LIKE sex for the first year, or maybe more I cant quite remember, of having it on a more regular basis. Then, almost all of a sudden, my body started responding in a more mature way, and I really learned about how amazing sex can be. Patience patience! And it will pay off! Good luck!
I've never had a sex toy! I have been thinking about getting one like yours though, just for the fun of it. What if he's out of town or at work?

[roni26]

I agree. You might be tight (a good thing) A lot of women think a 1.5" toy is too large. There are all sizes to vibrators, so you're in luck.