3 Some, first real time...Advice?

[BlueEyedBabyGirl224]

So, my Husband and I are planning on a 3 some this weekend with a female friend of ours. I tried the 3some thing with an ex boyfriend and my best friend once years ago, only it lasted just a few minutes as we were all very drunk, and it wasnt much fun.. I want this experience to be more fun for all involved.. Any advice? What should we expect? Ive never really done anything with another woman other than friendly kisses with my best friend.. but I know it would turn my husband on unbelievably to see me do things with another woman.. Also he is a bit nervous as well...What do you think?

[lexi]

In a FFM its usually all about the two women and a little about the man. You need to decide before hand how far you want your husband to go with the other woman. Are you going to be okay with the two of them having full blown sex or do you want her contact with him to be minimum?

Also its in your best interest to call the shots because you know best what you are comfortable with, not your husband. Also you should have a safety word in case one of you starts to get uncomfortable. Stop is not a good word because sometimes it is said even when you don't want the other party to stop.

Other than that be safe and have fun. I hope you and your husband have talked about this thoroughly though because it can negatively impact your relationship.

--I have read a lot about threesomes and have had very good experiences of my own.--

Anyways if you want a recommendation of a book or anything about the topic I can get the titles to you.

[haillei]

That would be totally fun if you are expecting it both. You would expect a different sensation because you have company. However, you should also be very careful because you have your relationship to take care of. That would not be a problem if you do not mind sharing your husband with another girl and if it is the same with your husband. You may also want to watch other threesome videos over the net so you could have the chance to see what is being done. Good Luck and have fun!

[whilhelm]

Any advice?

yes - don't.

[metboogie]

The reality is (as you can tell from the above posts) that the sex should be the least of your concerns. It's the ramifications afterwards that you need to be concerned with. It seems like you plan on having lesbian sex to turn him on, but have you considered that while you are sitting on her face he may want to insert into her vagina? OR he may want her to go down on him while he goes down on you? I mean, the combinations are endless - and you can't unsee something. Also - are you prepared to have him enjoy this more than he enjoys 1 on 1 sex with just you? On top of it all, you are involving a friend of yours. Are you prepared to have that friendship end if things get awkward? Are you prepared to WATCH your friend please your husband in ways you may never have? Are you prepared for your husband to flirt with your friend every time he sees her afterward? Are you prepared for your friend to develop feelings for your husband (or you) afterward?

Seriously, unless you are both VERY confident, independant, free spirited people you should not introduce this into your marriage - especially with someone you know.

Remember, for most guys, sex is sex. It's not an emotional thing. For women, there is a serious emotional attachment to sex.

Now - if after all that you decide to still go through with it you should definitely follow lexi's advice - communicate beforehand with your husband and friend how far you want them to go with eachother, and how far you will go with your friend. Also, since you are married you may not use condoms...but if your husband has sex with your friend, he should be wearing a rubber (or she should be on birth control). Pregnancy could possibly be the worst result of this - especially if it's her getting pregnant. Safe words are good as well.

If you decide it's no holds barred (and God bless you if you do) - go for it...bring some toys and try double penetration, try getting all 3 of you to orgasm at once, give your husband the vaunted double BJ. Do an oral circle (each of you giving and receiving oral at the same time - usually done lying in a circle).

Most importantly, let us know how it goes!

[almond blossom]

I am selfish in that I will not share my love nor my lover with anyone nor will my lover do likewise. Sex for us is much more than physical. It is a bonding that can only happen between two people, a closeness that cannot happen if a 3rd person were to be included. At the end of a trying day we can listen to each other, comfort each other, rejoice together, weep together and finally demonstrate our love for each other that only two people can do. Sex for us is a secrete union. I believe in the Biblical concept of "the two shall become one flesh." Had we added a 3rd person in the 25 years we have been together, we would have sown the seeds to our distruction.
My advice to you is to communicate and be fully open with each other, explore each other fully since there are no limiits in the bedroom between 2 consenting adults...and have lots of fun and leave that 3rd person out.

[lexi]

You can't know that it will hurt your relationship if you don't do it but you also can't know that it wont. It is risky emotionally but it works for some people.

IMO the only thing to do is to research it and understand the ramifications.

Sexual exploration is fun.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I wrote of a fantasy recently where there was another woman involved. It is said that it is every man's fantasy. But as i wrote it as a fantasy it was just that. It would not be one i would act on, unless this guy is not the one for me long term. Imagine, as you get older into the relationship, what was fun today, turns into him doing it on his own tomorrow and then saying, "but you let me before", it's not cheating. Or, his constant dream of doing it again and again, and asking for it, then falling for one of the others, losing perhaps that love for you or slight respect? Dangeous territory. To me it is an exploration of the minds, which can be told and left there. In my fantasy, i made it clear that she was there but would not be there when we woke up. That i was the priority and she was just an added feature. And, that i would not really do anything as such with her, or her me, but that i would enjoy to watch after, seeing him pleasuring her. Funny thing is, he re-read this fantasy as i wrote it, back to me, and in his interpretation, we had a romantic dinner first, watched the sun set first, and that she was not of interest to him, that he was more interested in me.... Now, got to give him 10 out of 10 for that one.... As, i said, dangerous territory..... I can feel your excitement of exploration of the un-known and it's evident that you've done it or going to do it. So, make some rules before you do, if you haven't or after, tell him that it was a once of fantasy for him and remind him of that and good luck, unless of course you enjoyed it immensly and you both will now continue adding this for the rest of your life. But, problem again i see, is at some stage, you are going to feel neglected as he grows more confident of knowing he can..... Good luck....