My Sex Drive is Too High!

[C]

No woman should ever fear that her sex drive is too high...I was so confused after what happened to me that it took me 6 months with a Sex Therapist or Sexcoach to help me accept that being this sexual of a woman was good. I did not know who I was. All of the sudden I was sexually on fire. I could not leave my husband alone but I loved it and so did he...Gradually, I accepted and life settled down but I was this new and alive woman who had to tell the world how wonderful life can be as you age and knew that I had to write....And so I did...

Learning to live with this was hard at first but now I believe that I am the happiest and luckiest woman in the world...Sometimes I feel that this is my reward for some of the **** that I have gone through in life and I also believe that I was put on this earth to write of it to help women....Maybe I am all wet and maybe this is my fairy tale but I guess now I will have to bring forward my blog on the Velveteen Rabbit that I did and let people see it someday.

I feel this way....When I go that I am leaving some part of me here with my writings....To me, this is good...TC, C

[sarah_rsl]

No woman should ever fear that her sex drive is too high...I was so confused after what happened to me that it took me 6 months with a Sex Therapist or Sexcoach to help me accept that being this sexual of a woman was good. I did not know who I was. All of the sudden I was sexually on fire. I could not leave my husband alone but I loved it and so did he...Gradually, I accepted and life settled down but I was this new and alive woman who had to tell the world how wonderful life can be as you age and knew that I had to write....And so I did...

Learning to live with this was hard at first but now I believe that I am the happiest and luckiest woman in the world...Sometimes I feel that this is my reward for some of the **** that I have gone through in life and I also believe that I was put on this earth to write of it to help women....Maybe I am all wet and maybe this is my fairy tale but I guess now I will have to bring forward my blog on the Velveteen Rabbit that I did and let people see it someday.

I feel this way....When I go that I am leaving some part of me here with my writings....To me, this is good...TC, C

I've tried to read through your previous posts as carefully as I can, and to be honest they leave me a little bit confused.

Look I just want to reiterate my previous statements. if someone's sex drive is interfering with them functioning as a mature capable human being then it's a problem and it needs to get sorted, it's as simple as that.

I think theirs some aspects of modern life that infantalises women under the guise of sexual liberation. Sex is a big part of my life but it's only a part.

[Fallen1]

I've tried to read through your previous posts as carefully as I can, and to be honest they leave me a little bit confused.

Look I just want to reiterate my previous statements. if someone's sex drive is interfering with them functioning as a mature capable human being then it's a problem and it needs to get sorted, it's as simple as that.

I think theirs some aspects of modern life that infantalises women under the guise of sexual liberation. Sex is a big part of my life but it's only a part.

I have a very high sex drive. I am turned on 24/7. I at times am left frustrated because my boyfriend cannot keep up with my wants, I can't complain though as I am lucky enough to have sex at least once a day and sometimes two.

Just because a woman has a strong sex drive doesn't mean something is wrong with her or she needs to seek help. You did however hit on a key point, IF it is where she (or he) cannot function in their daily lives then it needs to be addressed.

[pigwidgeon]

Wow. I'm totally jealous. I guess it's a grass-is-greener thing: I'd love to have that high of a sex drive, and you'd probably like to have mine (which is there but not as high as I'd like, probably thanks to birth control pills, which I'm getting off of at the end of this month).

I have to second (third? fourth?) the interfering idea -- if it's interfering, it's a problem. Is it interfering?

[C]

I deal with a very high sex drive..I accept this..I am sure I am much older than you so for me, this was wild.....I look at the vast majority of women that would give their eye teeth for this. Fallen is a lucky woman...I would give my eye teeth to have a man that is this active sexually but I don't so I accept...

I swallow what I have..That means that when I get that feeling between my legs that is sexual, I think of something else....I can sit here and have the tingling of being awaken but it is a good feeling...This means that I am alive and happy and ready for my husand when he wants me...It makes me feel wonderful but I do appreciate that you do not like the feeling.

When I doctored to try and figure out what was happening with me two years ago, my OB-GYN told me that there was a way to control this...He said there was some kind of a pill. I have also heard of some kind of thing that they do with a nerve that deadens this area of you. This is your clit that I am referring to...That is where your sexual feeling is coming from. When he told me this I told him there was no way that I would want this altered but this is me...As a woman ages, she does get more sexual...For many of us we love it but I am sure for some they don't.

[Fallen1]

When I doctored to try and figure out what was happening with me two years ago, my OB-GYN told me that there was a way to control this...He said there was some kind of a pill. I have also heard of some kind of thing that they do with a nerve that deadens this area of you. This is your clit that I am referring to...That is where your sexual feeling is coming from. When he told me this I told him there was no way that I would want this altered but this is me...As a woman ages, she does get more sexual...For many of us we love it but I am sure for some they don't.

Ewww ... I don't think I'd mess with that either. I would think, but I am no MD, that something of that nature would be irreversible.

As you know Caroline, there was a time back about 6 months (?) ago when I was very frustrated, frustrated to the point that I myself questioned if there was anything to do about my drive and even posted about it. This was a time when we had hit a slump, he was working long hours and there was other issues that were affecting us. Once that got worked out we were back on track.

To the OP, if this is something that you feel that needs to be addressed with you talk to your doctor, maybe he will have some suggestions for you.

[C]

Ewww ... I don't think I'd mess with that either. I would think, but I am no MD, that something of that nature would be irreversible.

As you know Caroline, there was a time back about 6 months (?) ago when I was very frustrated, frustrated to the point that I myself questioned if there was anything to do about my drive and even posted about it. This was a time when we had hit a slump, he was working long hours and there was other issues that were affecting us. Once that got worked out we were back on track.

To the OP, if this is something that you feel that needs to be addressed with you talk to your doctor, maybe he will have some suggestions for you.

I remember that well...In fact, I was thinking about that in one of your earlier posts...I think that is just fantastic.

I would think the OP may want to talk to her doctor about possibly an anti-depressant as they say that they cut back on your sexual desires. Maybe this is what she is thinking of....TC, C

[mewhenim]

I have the same "problem" as you. Although I'm not concerned so much about it's effects on my work life. My main problem is that I feel like my (ex) husband had an underactive sex drive (we have only just seperated). Being turned down almost every night became emotionally exhausting and I became very depressed. My problem now is I'm offended when men don't want to sleep with me. I can't help but feel like it's me. I always hear men always want sex all the time (which I know isn't entirely true), but they don't want to sleep with me. I feel like I want to have several times every day. When I have sex, I just want more. I don't know if guys are having trouble keeping up or think that I'm clingy because I keep calling to see if they are "up for it".

I guess try not to let it interfere with your life and know you are not alone.

[ThexMrs]

I know what you are feeling, I myself having had this on my mind lately. I masturbate at least three times a day (in spurts) I'll do it that way for a few weeks then go a day or two without getting off and then from there I start back up. I'm constantly taking "naughty" photos for my boyfriend and sending them to him at work. When I call him in the morning before work I talk dirty to him. I look at it as him waking up in a good way but I really do it for me. I love knowing how much I turn him on. I will text him my dirty thoughts during the day and even email them to him. I think about it A LOT. Sex is amazing and I'm not ashamed of being sexual now. After reading this thread, I don't think that I have a problem. I think I'm just a horny 21 year old woman. Nothing wrong with that.

[WildChild]

Well some one pulled this one out of the back of the closet but it was an interesting read. I've been dealing with this for years and have shut down sexually a number of times because it got too intense and I wasn't getting what I needed. Lately I've been doing a lot of reading on relationships and sex just because of this. The general consensus seems to be that men don't want sex as much as they think they do, they need the opportunity to overcome some resistance to keep their interest up (pun intended). When the woman (wife, LT gf or new relationship) is too available men tend to lose interest.

So ladies looks like we are back to that precious, fragile, maddening, male ego. While we need foreplay (I can do without it up to a point but then I got to have some to keep it really satisfying) they need the 'chase', the game, some suspense, some tension from not being sure. All of that balanced with not putting them down, or making it so difficult that they, um shall we say...lose it? If, like myself, you aren't much of a tease or a sexual game player and you have a high sex drive - you got a problem. I haven't quite figured out how to deal with it. I had years of being abused, put down and shut out and worked really hard on becoming more open and now I'm finding out that this doesn't really work either. I don't know quite what to do with this. It's looking like it's always all about them and their-what-ever-it-is-that's-bothering-them-now, while you get to be frustrated and just deal with it, oh and get blamed somehow.

I love the quote from Rob Brezsny, in his book, Pronoia, "...there is no yang without yin and vice versa..." He was talking about something else, but it's true.

I sure seem to have met a lot of men who are trying to make it so. They want the sex, well no actually they don't. If you give it too freely they have a problem, if you withhold it, that's a problem, they want this, that and the other but aren't willing to put in the effort to keep it juicy, they are commitment phobic but when they are ready after dragging it out so long and you've finally put it on the shelf because you can't take it anymore, they don't understand that they can't treat you like a light switch and just turn it back it on.

Once upon a time, men were the sexual agressors and part of the measure of their masculinity was 'conquering' a woman, being able to seduce and the story line was that she unwillingly gave into his overwhelming maleness and if she a bit 'iffy' she might even come to enjoy it but that really wasn't very important. In return he had to be the provider of Everything. Not a very good system, but it had a certain balance for the time period and the religions and social expectations (even the medical community helped by ignoring certain physical facts - the clit wasn't even mentioned in most medical material until quite recently) were set up to support it. There are entire religions and cultures engaged in a fight to the death to keep it.

Now women are standing up and saying, "hey I actually love sex and I want it when I want it and the way I want it - this is what I need from you to bring me to a higher level of satisfaction" Opps, no conquering, no admiring and high fives from the other 'knights'. She actually wants it and wants it to be good for both of you - he can't just get himself off and say she's frigid or there's something 'wrong' with her or hold some secret pride that he seduced a 'good' woman (being one who doesn't really want it but couldn't resist Him). Now she's coming after him and it's an ego booster for a little while but then it loses it's edge. Of course he's not going to talk about it, he just withdraws, gets a little mean, a bit more selfish, and treats the woman in his life like she's got the cooties. Guess what ladies? According to all the books - it's up to US to change OUR behavior. (LOL - here we go again)

As far as I've gleaned: we are supposed to be receptive and alluring, dress enticingly but not too much. Be available but not too much, keep him wondering but not to the point of desperation, do your thing, take an interest in his thing but don't expect him to have any interest in yours, listen when he wants to talk but don't talk too much yourself because he won't actually listen for more than 5 mins. Because men's freindships often don't allow for really sharing emotions (other than anger or victory) you will have to be open to supporting his emotional needs and occasional need for a freind to talk with but when you need to talk - go find a girl freind. One 'expert' says don't cook for him another says he'll love it if you do. Know what you want sexually but be very careful how you let him know, he can bluntly say, 'suck it' you have to foot around so he doesn't lose it.

My conclusion? Go on ahead, Read the books, then put them on the shelf to get very dusty - do not dust them or reread them. Find a nice hobby, something like breaking concrete with a sledge hammer for when you are particularly horny, try to keep from biting your nails. I'm ordering Welcomed's female masterbation dvd's and plan to become amazingly good at pleasuring myself. Let the men handle it on their own, so what if you can do an amazing bj, or have the best pc muscles in the west, what's it getting you?!

Of course the phone will ring and that voice will just reach out and grab me and my heart will go pitter pat twice as fast.....sigh.