Would men be better lovers if pegged once?

[Phoebee]

Hi Owlhunter:

Be very very careful about doing any kind of anal penetration when drunk and or without lube. You can really hurt yourself badly. Making pegging more mainstream in your sex life will probably make it possible for her to not need to get drunk to do it. I hope so!

In the meantime you might want to have her be on the bottom with you on top so you can control the penetration. And if she is not willing or able to add lubrication I strongly urge you to lube yourself and the dildo before it comes near you. Adding a lubricated condom to the dildo helps with any potential clean up and will help ease it in you.

Yes I agree. Set limits and be willing to accept that your partner may not find ______ as exciting or erotic as you do. We don't do fisting for example or oral/anal of any kind and probably never will. We don't have any desire to include others in the bedroom and we like the lights off! So other then pegging I guess we are pretty dull. Anyway thanks for the message. Good luck in getting your wife to try this sober.

PS tell her to put the Hitachi vibe behind the dildos base. I don't need it to climax *Rubbing against the base can get me off but with the Hitachi is a "for sure" thing and DH loves the feeling of it vibrating against his prostate etc.

[gyrator53]

Ha! She has you right where you want her... ;-) The Bend over Boyfriend video is kind of a mixed thing. We watched that and as I said some of the scenes were great. Others were really fringe.

Yes, I agree entirely. I don't know of any videos that treat it really well. I sent an email to the "Lovers' Guide" people suggesting that it should be considered for one of their future videos. They seem to be able to treat most aspects of sex in a reasonably tasteful way so I have some hope they might get it right. Since their online shop is suggesting strapons for hetro couples I reckon they will get around to it pretty soon.

DH and I watch a rare adult DVD but he does all the renting. I think there was a "fair" series of hetro Pegging Videos. Nothing really educational but not too fringe. Babes balling boys? or bending over boys or banging? You would "think" that someone would make a bit better videos and use actors that are not super models. On reason in fact we liked the better sex series. At least we could relate to the people as real people. Some (but not all) of the scenes clearly cater to the aggressive to the point of dominating women but no whips and chains. A bit too much of men simulating oral sex on strap ons which is? I guess its a visual for some folks and DH did it once and we both decided it was a tad silly. Maybe some women would get off on that? I suppose that might also be educational for a man to know how difficult it is to do oral sex on a penis. At least the kind you see the porn stars do. How they can choke down on those porn guys is a mystery to me.

The Better sex videos had a short section on males and anal sex. I do remember the first time we saw that both our jaws dropped. Eh?! Whats this? Well the guy in the scene looked like a high school teacher and it sure looked conventional and the look on his face sure implied he was enjoying it. But trust me we didn't jump out of bed and order a monster strap on! I'm glad we decided to explore it. Its fun for there to be an activity thats "done" to the hubby for a change. He says when he knows that were going to do that his heart goes pitter patter! ;-)

[gyrator53]

Its fun for there to be an activity thats "done" to the hubby for a change. He says when he knows that were going to do that his heart goes pitter patter! ;-)

Yes, having the performance requirement lifted once in a while is great. I can also vouch for the heart doing a few preparatory exercises around the rib cage when this is in prospect.

[owlhunter]

I find it so interesting that in this thread there are many comments from "normal" couples that enjoy or would like to try pegging. I would bet that the world in general out there thinks that only very sicko couple would do this. I must admit that I was the one that initiated the idea with my SO.

It took me a long time to feel comfortable enjough to even begin to carefully mention the idea to her. And she is the MOST non-judgemental person i have ever know. But I still felt that I must be "sick" (or something) to even want to try such a thing, let alone enjoy it.

It is nice to know that I'm not "sick" (or at least not in that way ).

Boy, the things that must go on in "bedrooms" around the world that would surpise use. Maybe there is some hope for humanity.

[shunyata]

I came across this pegging thread and would really like to ask a question about it. I have always wanted a woman to do this to me. I am married now to my wife for almost 4 years. She will rub my anus a little during sex or oral. She has asked me a couple times if I want her to put her finger in. I always tell her no for fear of her freaking out. I want her to do it and also want her to peg me as well. I think I hesitate in asking because early in our relationship I told her I had anal with my ex wife. She said she would never do that. Although she seems to enjoy it when I rub her and stick a finger in her. Any help on how I can bring this up to her? I want to open up and communicate my desires to her, but not sure how I should bring this up. Maybe start with the finger and she how she is with it first, then after awhile with that bring up the other thing, pegging. BTW she does not want to watch porn, she has been very closed sexualy, but tells me she has done more with me than anyone before.

[harold]

I came across this pegging thread and would really like to ask a question about it. I have always wanted a woman to do this to me. I am married now to my wife for almost 4 years. She will rub my anus a little during sex or oral. She has asked me a couple times if I want her to put her finger in. I always tell her no for fear of her freaking out. I want her to do it and also want her to peg me as well. I think I hesitate in asking because early in our relationship I told her I had anal with my ex wife. She said she would never do that. Although she seems to enjoy it when I rub her and stick a finger in her. Any help on how I can bring this up to her? I want to open up and communicate my desires to her, but not sure how I should bring this up. Maybe start with the finger and she how she is with it first, then after awhile with that bring up the other thing, pegging. BTW she does not want to watch porn, she has been very closed sexualy, but tells me she has done more with me than anyone before.

Even though I have been pegged for the last 7 years, with my girlfriend initiating, we were both hesitant to start with, and I doubt there is anyone, male or female, who starts pegging without certain fears and concerns.

My girlfriend simply penetrated me with her finger, without warning, when I was about to orgasm while she used her hand on me. Your wife is willing and I think you should take her up on her offer, perhaps moving to a small hand held dildo instead of her finger by expressing concern for her, i.e. it would be easier for her to use the dildo (or small butt plug) rather than her finger.

If this works - remember it is not ing you, at least initially, just one stroke of penetration to make you orgasm - then the progression is going to be pretty easy. It took my girlfriend a matter of a few weeks to move from her finger to an 8 inch dildo, for example.

Dildos are quite expensive, by the way.

Harold

[longshadow]

Harold makes excellent points.
This is a very interesting thread.

To the top question; would being pegged make a man a better lover.
I would have to say no.
What would make a man a better lover is love and understanding. Learning to listen and observe - to learn his lovers body and read her signs.

Pegging? For me it is an indulgence. I love being penetrated - I love to be submissive - to let my feminine side be loved and made love to.
I am not being taught a lesson - I am making love.

My woman looks so content and happy when I am inside her - I wanted some of that too. And it is beautiful.
I am two lovers.
A dominant male top.
And a submissive male bottom (I am not a woman and do not confuse myself with one).

Love- that is the best way to be a better lover. Love your lover.

longshadow
Thank you guys.

[Explorer44]

I have never thought about this question, but I would have to say that perhaps it would...but having never met a man who would entertain that idea, I wouldn't know.

[aminah09]

i dont think he has to be analy penetrated to be sensitive i think that couples should do alot more foreplay to get more sensitive.I think foreplay is the biggest part of sex besides the orgasm the foreplay is what in a way you never want to stop because it feels so good,i mean if the women uses her mouth right she could have the man on top of her 24/7 and if a man can use his mouth right that women would never wanna stop licking him....i think its more about communicating sexually.I think that anal isnt the best thing for men or women and i dont agree with sodomy practices sure people may like it,but it isnt natural.I think that couples should do more experimenting with their foreplay and before sex activities to make the sex feel better.

[longshadow]

Hi - aminah09
Great comments.
A fundamentalist view might say that anything other than intercourse is not natural. That oral gratification is also wrong.
I believe that couples need to decide for themselves what the boundaries are.

I would ask; leave yourself open to new things. Life is long. Situations change. You may grow and change.
I would ask; when that new thing comes along later in life - or tomorrow and you are forced to confront it, be willing to look at it. Don't be ashamed of what you or your partner want. What lies years ahead is nothing that you can predict right now. Leave yourself open to new spaces and ideas - your relationships may depend upon it.
Don't fall into a trap of self loathing because you desire what you once thought was 'wrong'.

My wife and I have an amazing sex that is in its 26th year. 26 years o the same partner. 26 years of exploring and growing and changing.

Great that you are willing to talk about.

longshadow