They're Driving Me Crazy!!?

[imported_charlie]

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years.
Ever since his mum first met me she's had a problem with me. If it's not the way I dress, it's they way I cook, how I behave or the state of the flat my boyfriend and I have shared for the past 3 years!? Plus she comes over whenever she wants.
I've tried my hardest over the past few years to get on with her, but she just seems to enjoy making it hard. I don't know what to do.
To make matters worse his younger brother is almost as bad as his mother. He's always coming over, even at the most inappropriate times and especially when my boyfriend and I have our first joint day of in ages. If we say no to his brother coming over, he tells his mother and both my boyfriend and I end up getting moaned at by her.
I don't mind either of them sometimes, but I'd like to have more space and time alone with my boyfriend.
I don't think either of them realise how much of a strain they're putting on our relationship, but we have nearly split up several times due to arguements about his family!?

[AFemaleProdigy]

You have been together long enough that you should be able to sit down and tell him how much this is bothering you. He should seriously take that into concideration and do something about it. I had similar issues with my husband's mother. I finally couldn't take it anymore and told him he had to do something about it or things would get ugly. Suprisingly, he sat her down and told her like it is and there were immediate changes. Granted, she was very mad and upset at first, but it was worth it. Men can really be oblivious to the strain that their family puts on their women. You have to tell him very clearly and plain as day what is happening and how it is making you feel. He may get mad about it or not want to deal with it, but you will have to put your foot down on this. Things will only get worse if you don't. It also should not be your responsibillity to deal with this because it is HIS family. He needs to deal with it.