Help me out ladies...sex hurts GF...damaging relationship

[Derek78787878]

I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now and we've been having sex for about 2.

At first when we started having sex it really hurt her. I assumed that was normal but it still happens today after we've had sex too many times to count. We always use lube and I ease it in slowly.

My penis is a little over 7" in length and almost 8" around (5" around being average)...and she says that my penis may be too big.

Any suggestions to make the pain go away or potential explanations?

Thanks!

[miffed23]

Hmm, so youve been having sex for 2 years, it hurts her and she hasnt gone to the doctor?

First thing that comes to mind is vaginismus. Which is, the involuntary and unconscious spasm of the muscles surrounding the vagina, making penetration painful or impossible.

However, there are other medical reasons for dyspareunia, the medical term for painful intercourse; such as endometriosis, pelvic inflammation, or bladder problems.

Get her to go to the doctor, even better the gyno - be sure that she mentions vaginismus, as my experience with doctors is that they get you out of there as quickly as possible, with the 'keep trying' or 'itll ease' line. (Can you tell i dont like doctors? )

Good luck, please dont let her suffer in silence anymore.....

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Been there done that, it sucks.

Physical aside, there are all sorts of mental reasons for this... Just, try and figure out what's wrong and sort it...

Good luck..

[loulou]

I went through exactly the same thing with my boyfriend for 8 months....until one day it was fine...and felt good.

We tried everything from lube to being drunk and nothing worked...then we had sex when i was on my period and the problem resolved itself...and has been fine ever since.
However it could be a pyscological issue and is more than likely frustrating for her. So give it time and it will suddenly change!

Good luck....take care....

x

[commonsense]

I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now and we've been having sex for about 2.

At first when we started having sex it really hurt her. I assumed that was normal but it still happens today after we've had sex too many times to count. We always use lube and I ease it in slowly.

My penis is a little over 7" in length and almost 8" around (5" around being average)...and she says that my penis may be too big.

Any suggestions to make the pain go away or potential explanations?

Thanks!

Auh call me. Ha ha. Just kidding.

[Derek78787878]

I don't think it's mental at all to be honest. There will be times when she's really enjoying it at first and then it starts to hurt her...and it almost always hurts when I first put it in...even though I go really slowly at the beginning and use lube.

We can't even do it from behind at all because it hurts her too much that way (penetrates too deep?) and when I try to grab her hair (gently of course) she says it arches her back to much and makes it hurt more.

Blah...I guess maybe it's just a matter of...not sure how else to say this but...stretching her out?

[Derek78787878]

I should also add that I'm her first...she was a virgin with me.

[jayjay]

This may be medical. I worked with a gynie for a number of years, and one of the things
that I learned was that many women have a 'persistant hymen'. Sex hurts because the
hymen is still partially attached.

[Fire(m)]

I have known of this problem as well jayjay. A g/f of mine years ago had to have a quick surgery on the hymen to resolve this problem. It did fix things and she was good to go!

Honestly, Derek, I have a hard time believing that your "part" is 8" around. I am drinking a "BUD LIGHT" and I just measured the can and imagine this...it's exactly 8" around. I have looked at an obscenely enormous amount of porno over the years which is another subject entirely, but I have yet to see a penis as big around as my can of bud light. If in fact, this is the actual measurement of the circumference of your "part"...then I believe you have found the problem. Just for giggles, I measured the height of my BUD LIGHT can and it's only 5". So...if you are 7" long, then you're about the size of a 16 OZ BUD LIGHT! If I was a woman and you came after me with a "tall boy" sized "part"...I'd run.

Cheers.

[Derek78787878]

I have known of this problem as well jayjay. A g/f of mine years ago had to have a quick surgery on the hymen to resolve this problem. It did fix things and she was good to go!

Honestly, Derek, I have a hard time believing that your "part" is 8" around. I am drinking a "BUD LIGHT" and I just measured the can and imagine this...it's exactly 8" around. I have looked at an obscenely enormous amount of porno over the years which is another subject entirely, but I have yet to see a penis as big around as my can of bud light. If in fact, this is the actual measurement of the circumference of your "part"...then I believe you have found the problem. Just for giggles, I measured the height of my BUD LIGHT can and it's only 5". So...if you are 7" long, then you're about the size of a 16 OZ BUD LIGHT! If I was a woman and you came after me with a "tall boy" sized "part"...I'd run.

Cheers.

Guess I should be in porn then eh (j/k). In all seriousness though, I have no reason to lie about my penis size. I've measured it many times before (apparently you're supposed to measure it on different days because it fluctuates a little) and it's absolutely over 7" every time...I guess I was a little overzealous with the 8" around (although it did come close on one measurement...my point was my concern with if size it a problem or not). I work at a liquor store in Canada (LCBO) and I do not have a penis the size of a tall boy...and they dfinitely aren't only 8" around. I just measured a standard beer bottle (rickard's red...rotting by my computer...nice..) and it was 9" around...and tall boys are a lot thicker than a standard beer bottle. As for the running part...definitely didn't run into a problem like that in the past with other women.

SOOOO anyways, as I said in the OP...I'm wondering if it's a size problem or a vagina problem? Or more than that.