PrettyMaryK

Hi everyone,

I just registered today. I'm not sure why I didn't think of finding a forum such as this sooner, but I hope it turns on a light bulb that is very dim right now.

Physically speaking, I'm 20, 5'7", and I've been hovering in the range of 145 - 155 lbs for the last 9 or so months. I understand that this isn't "overweight" persay, but I am larger than is normal for me (low 130s).

It's been a tough year, but I hate excuses and I get so fed up with losing 5 or 6 lbs and gaining it all back again in one fell swoop. I'm a runner - I've been athletic all of my life - but I keep turning to the dark side of occassional junk food binging. NOT GOOD. Even worse - I'm a pre-medicine student who is passionate about diabetes prevention and intervention - and here I am talking the talking but not walking the walk.

I do feel it's gotten out of control...or at least, when the desire to go on a junk food fest (putting it lightly), I cannot control my consumption. I can go for 2 or 3 weeks without over indulgence (I love fruits and vegetables, and know what I should be eating), but once my level of stress increases to the point where my normal routine doesn't passify the negativity (exercising, eating healthily, sleeping 7 to 8 hours regularly) I completely lose control. Before I'm about to buy my junk of choice(s), I tell myself that I'm going to feel lousy and guilty and this is NOT a healthy choice, but this normally doesn't stop me. And once I start the binge, I can't stop until the food is completely consumed and out of sight.

I'm not sure what to do. I know what I should be doing, and normally I do a pretty good job at maintaining a healthy lifestyle. But it's gotten bad enough that when I do get out of control I get secretive about it, and it's preventing me from feeling and looking how I perceive my healthy body to be.

Any similar experiences or words of wisdom would be great.

CHANDLERS WISH

Welcome to the Forum.

There is a support club here where all are talking about losing weight, you may have to stay for a bit, like 33 posts before you can join one, but all things as you know that take time are worth it.

Usually, when things are happy in your life, we turn to something, food, alcohol, something to get us through feeling down.

Or, simply pushing yourself to the limits for so long and wanting to follow that dream but feel rebelious because you feel that whilst others just enjoy, you push yourself.

Either way, point being the bindging is for a reason and you need to look at that before you can look at stopping it.

I am 5'7, 1251lbs probably, (Australian) 66kilos? And, I will eat KFC every saturday because let's face it you need junk food sometimes. Mainly like you I love fruit and veg so maybe start writing a food plan, get excited over what you are going to cook so that you look forward to it and don't think so much about the junk food.

You are 20 but you don't say if your restricted from what you eat either, by where and who you live with.

This could also be waying on things sweet.

CW

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PrettyMaryK

Chandler's Wish,

Thanks for replying.

I should have mentioned my living situation. I'm a 20 year old student in Oregon (I'm Canadian, but immigrated to be with my husband who is 24 and a student also). We are young and money is understandabley tight, but it doesn't restrict my choices of food necessarily. My husband is very supportive of my mainly vegetarian lifestyle, but he himself enjoys indulgence here and there, which is fine for him as he is an active and generally healthy man. But a 6'2 man can eat more than a 5'7 woman without gaining (as much or any) weight. Logically I understand this. But when I'm stressed or upset or purely feeling rebellious I tend to indulge with him. Certainly I could use portion control and stiill enjoy these 'treats' with him, but I obviously haven't been following that route as of late.

I understand that there is a psychological root to this type of behaviour that I'm engaging in. Perhaps it was silly to post before getting to the bottom of WHY (..I sabbatoge my success, etc) instead of HOW (to stop, etc). but I suppose it speaks to the fear behind figuring it all out.