Thread: Does my husband care about my weight?

Unfortunately the answer is yes, he does absolutely care - to a certain extent that is.

The reality is that men do not have control over what they are are attracted to, it is in no way a choice on their part - it just happens. I am in no way saying that he won't love you just as much when you are overweight, but let's not kid ourselves here, he does care and you know it - no matter what he says. I could go on and on about attraction and how important it is in maintaining a healthy relationship, but let's get dirty with some weight loss concepts.

Question:So what is keeping us from loosing the weight? Answer:We are keeping ourselves from success, NOT circumstances - Us.

So just for a second, let's dump everything we know or have ever learnt about weight loss. Maybe it's time for a paradigm shift.

Everyone in here is intelligent enough to know that there is no magic pill. If you think there is then good luck finding it and report back please!

Ok, deep breath....lets get started....

Internal Processes vs External Results

Basically, before an external result can be achieved, something internal needs to happen or change. So maybe we are focusing in the wrong area?

When you think about loosing weight, what do you think about? Maybe some of these words come to mind: jogging, treadmill, exercise, healthy eating, eating less, vegetables, etc. You get the point. All these words are external, physical things. Now don't get me wrong, these things are responsible for getting the weight off, but how do these things manifest? Something internal has to take place before you do one or more of the external things.

Two examples:

1. Negative Internal Process:"Nothing I try works, I just can't loose the weight. Who cares what I look like anyway."

External result: Eat more than needed, refrain from exercising.


2. Positive Internal process: "I really want to look great for the wedding in 6 months."

External result: Run on the treadmill everyday for 20 minutes.

So instead of cultivating the external processes of weight loss, let's focus on the internal processes which are directly responsible for the external results.
It's like we have been doing it backwards, let's start with the inner stuff. And how do we do that? That's a great question!

Lets dig in....

The 7 steps to achieving a weight loss orientated mind (I'll just start with the first 3 because it's getting late and I'm tired.

I have kind of just summerized it here, but you will get the idea.

Step one.

Your ultimate senerio:

Think of an idealized image/event where you look thinner and feel great.We are going to refer to this as your Ultimate scenario.
What is your ultimate scenario?
Imagine this next level of your life - write it down - what does it look like?
Write down how you feel inside (internal processes), and write down what your life looks on the outside (external results) Note: You will probably notice how the internal things are congruent with the external things - this is no consequence!

In this exercise, I want you to write it as if its already happened. So write in the present tense - "I woke up this morning and....."

How about this, if you feel like responding to this post, share with us what you wrote for this exercise, I'd really love to hear it.


Step two

Shift your Inner voice:

What does that voice inside of your head sound like? For example:

When you are about to eat that item of food that you know your body doesn't need, what tone does the voice inside your head have? Is it a weak tone that says, "you really
shouldn't be eating that". Or is it a confident, strong tone that communicates with authority: "You don't need to eat that, you will not eat that".
See the difference? Which one are you more likely to listen to?
This is key.


Step 3

Start feeling good about/embracing processes

This step is key to your success and encompasses the overall concept here! Let be honest, most of us want instant gratification don't we? Well, I believe that we think we want things straight away but the truth is that we don't. Let me explain, if it was possible, who of you would take a chopper to the top of mount everest? I guess I would, it would be interesting to get there quickly and look at the view but is that what it's really about? No, not for me at least, what is that value in that? I want to say that I climbed mount everest! How much more beautiful would the view be if you had just completed such a great feat. Nothing worthwhile comes easy, that's the bottom line.

So let's start getting excited about the process and be motivated by each tiny step that we are taking. It's exciting and the further along you get, the more results you see and the more motivated you become - the snowball effect.

It's been great sharing with you and I hope that you got something from this post. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this post, I'm sure I could learn a thing or two from you guys.

Let me know if you liked this and want me to share the next 4 steps!