Having a hard time on how to start.....

**neffjb** · 09-06-2011 08:37 AM

Hi my name is JJ, I am 26 years old and attempting to lose some weight. I actually want to lose a lot of weight but I want to lose it slowly because I have a fear of my skin not going back. I am 5'3" and the last time I weighed myself I was 261 (that was 3 months ago). I know that I have been gaining more weight again--one because I notice that my clothes are getting tighter and two my boyfriend mentioned something (side note---he love me for who I am which I love about him, but he is concerned about my health at the moment because I am so short and have a lot of weight on me). I have always been the "bigger girl". In high school I averaged about 150,which I was pretty comfortable at (which I still know is overweight but its better than what I am at now). Right now my goal is to be below 225 by Dec of this year. My goal I have for over a year would be to be around 180-190.

So since you know a little about me here is some of my problems....I am having a hard time starting. I have an appt with Curves on the 19th to set up a gym membership, its on my way home from work so I figured I would have a hard time avoiding not going. My huge dilema is EATING! I love to eat or should we say snack.....I am def a snacker. Oh and I love my soda (which I cut back on for a while but then went right back to it). I know if I can cut back on the soda completely that would help out a lot but saying it and doing it are two completely different things.

I guess beside asking advice on the best way to start I also want to know if anybody knows of any support groups because even though my boyfriend is supportive, I feel like I need somebody else that I can talk to about my feelings with this whole process. I would love any advice you could give me :-)

Thanks for you time:-)

**Cyndie32** · 09-06-2011 09:09 AM

i started my newplan (i don't use the word diet, you have to change your life) in april of 2009. i have learned many things about weight loss. alot of them from this site. you need to make a plan to start. write it out on paper. with step by step what you are going to do. use a food tracking website. there are many good free ones out there, i use loseit. it allows you to set your goal. how much you want to lose per week. it then tells you how many calories you can have per day to meet your goal. it tracks your exercise and how many calories you use there. and gives you a report at the end of the day. it is a very useful tool. also, start weighing (even if you have to by a food scale, i bought mine for $10.) your food. you do not realize how much we, as human beings, underestimate or portion sizes. also, measure yourself at the start. measurements mean so much more than weight. good luck. and remember, youdid not put this weight on over nite and it will not come off that way either. slow steady progress and simple math. expend more calories than you consume. oh yea, and water, water, water.

**KMonte85** · 09-06-2011 09:37 AM

losing weight and changing habits is tough stuff, neff! I feel your pain... I'm 25 and started my weight loss journey a little over a year ago. I was in the same boat - 5'3", 220lbs, eating to much junk and not moving enough, and needing a new lifestyle so I could be a happier and healthier person. I've lost 70 lbs now on my own and just finished my first sprint triathlon this summer, I would have laughed in your face if you told me I would be able to accomplish any of this a year ago. But I'm living breathing proof that determination and dedication pays off.

Food is my vice too. I love it I love eating it, I love making it, I love watching TV shows about it. I want the full fat, full flavor foods and the comfort they bring. But just like any unhealthy relationship, one must start to see the consequences that are brought on by continuing being so healthy, and weighing the pros and cons.. you've already started thinking about this, realizing that the instant gratification of sodas and other unhealthy snacks is not nearly as gratifying as the longterm effects of being healthy, the renewed energy, the compliments you'll get from other people, the new confidence you'll have, the pride you feel for the hard work you've put in... junk food just can't compare.

Go to Curves, that's a great idea - but make sure you actually GO! A gym membership is worthless if you're never in the gym sweating.

Clean out your pantry. Toss the junk and don't buy any more and don't let your boyfriend buy any either if you can't resist it when it's in the house. Fill your fridge and shelves with healthy snacks - fruits, veggies, lean proteins and whole grains. Drink lots of water and stop soda and other sugary drinks (yes, even juice) - cold turkey. Journal your food intake every day (loseit, like Cyndie suggested, is a great place.. there are a bunch out there - find something so you KNOW what you're putting in your body).

Would your boyfriend or any girlfriends be willing to be your "healthy living buddy"? It does help to have a partnership or a team to keep you motivated, and to stop you from being naughty with your eating habits. Come here and tell us about your successes, your frustrations, your challenges - we're all here to help! You also may be interested in joining Beautiful Disaster's Fitness Challenge here on WH: http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...e-ii-join.html . You can't find a better group of people for support and accountability than you will with the Fitness Challenge!

But above all, make the conscious decision that food will not rule you anymore. You are young and have the ability to be healthy and strong. You just need to make the commitment. You must want to be healthy more than you want the comfort of unhealthy food and being a couch potato. You must be dedicated!

Trust me, the payoff will be so much greater than any of the "sacrifices" you'll make in your journey towards a healthier life.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 09-06-2011 10:46 AM

As Cyndie said, LoseIt is FANTASTIC. Lots of people can "say" they want things to change, but not near as many are actually willing to make it happen. It's time to lose weight, your health and your livelihood are depending upon it. Get started logging your calories, every thing you eat and drink all day, using LoseIt. You can also log your exercise there.

It helps to be held "accountable" for what you eat and drink. Logging it helps because when you see that you have 500 more calories to eat for the day, you may then choose to skip that soft drink because you don't want to waste 200-300 of those calories you have left. Aside from that, food can be an addiction, and you have to treat it like any other addiction. Do NOT buy sugar ridden treats to keep in your home or things like potato chips and other junk foods. If you don't buy them, you can't snack on them, right?

You need to ensure you are getting at least 30 grams of fiber per day. Proper digestion is KEY to losing weight.

Check out our Fitness Challange thread, and at the very end of it you will see some Before and Afters. Talk about inspiration.

Feel free to follow along with us in Fitness Challenge II. You will learn alot and befriend some really great and inspirational women. Plus, it'll give you a kick start on what you should be requiring of yourself daily. Curves is an excellent idea.

**Karen63** · 09-06-2011 12:28 PM

Hi JJ - there are lots of really good tips in what others have posted already. The important thing is to find what works for you personally, and for this it helps to have an insight into your eating habits and what you have been doing wrong. It also helps if you analyse exactly what excuses you have been making for not losing the weight, and come up with a solution to each problem. For example, I loathe gyms and find them intimidating. My answer? Get a Wii Fit and use it every day. It tracks my weight and BMI and motivates me to keep going, and it's totally private: there are no sneering skinny women in Lycra to watch me leaping about in my baggy t-shirt like an idiot. Once I managed to lose 25 lbs with the Wii Fit, I had enough confidence to put on a bathing costume and start swimming five times a week, which I do enjoy. I still haven't set foot inside a gym since I started this. My biggest weakness was snacking mindlessly and I worried about my ability to resist temptation under pressure, so from the beginning I told myself "Yes, any time you want a snack you can have one, as long as you drink a pint of water first." And my list of permitted snacks is either fruit, raw veg, crispbread or diet hot chocolate drink, if I still want a snack after that water. I don't obsess or worry about feeling hungry because I know if I want a snack I can have one without guilt, and as a result I don't actually snack that much these days. If you're worried about not having soda to drink, buy sparkling mineral water or allow yourself diet soda (yes, I know there's a school of thought that says you shouldn't have it, but if it's the difference between sticking to a diet and not sticking to it, I'd choose the former. I always have a couple of litres of diet soda in the house if I fancy a glass, and I'm down from 258 lbs to 194 in seven months, so I must be doing something right.) I don't journal my food myself, although I know it can be a brilliant tool, but I do eat three healthy balanced meals per day plus snacks only from the list. The advice about dietary fibre is spot on.

Always have a modest, manageable weight target on the horizon, for example: "I will lose 3lbs in the next two weeks" or "I will get my BMI down below this figure", so you can keep yourself motivated with a constant series of small successes. Use positive thinking and language about what you're doing - this is not about giving things up or being deprived, it's about being in control. You can still have a normal life on a weight loss program; you don't have to give up eating out or enjoying a drink with friends, as long as you make the right choices, and if you integrate what you're doing into your normal life you have a far better chance of long-term success (and you won't risk driving your partner or family crazy listening to you obsessing about calories and fat content all the time!) With a supportive boyfriend, a positive attitude and an answer for every excuse you can come up with, I'm sure you can get there

**neffjb** · 09-06-2011 01:39 PM

Thanks for all the information! I have never been good at tracking what I eat (mainly because I am scared to see how much it is). I do have a question though in regards to water, I have never really been a fan but if I add the crystal light powder to my drinks would that be okay? I was thinking that might ease my way from sodas. I know that I want to lose weight for my health and self-confidence.....and I know that it will not happen over night. I was looking for a support group that I could go to just to make it easier.....I know that I have to do it for my self but I feel like if I had a support system that would make it better. (my boyfriend supports me but he is naturally smaller so he sometimes doesn't understand how mentally hard it is for me). I really do appreciate all the advice :-) I do not plan on starting my change until the 19th when I get back from vacation. I figured that there was no point starting before hand since vacation is pretty much a free-for-all (BUT I did convince my boyfriend to go walking with me everyday while were on vacation!)

**KMonte85** · 09-06-2011 02:23 PM

crystal light is better than soda, but the problem with it is that you never really get that nagging thought for sweet drinks out of your mind if you don't stop drinking them. Once you cut it out completely, after about 2 weeks your cravings will begin subsiding and you want feel like you need it anymore. You won't have that luxury if you switch from one sweet drink to another that's maybe not as sugary. Sure, the mix is not as bad, but do you want to half-arse your healthy living habits?

And, please DO start tracking what you eat. It isn't a comfortable feeling to see it laid out in front of you, but you need to be honest with yourself. You didn't get to being overweight by making healthy food choices, and as soon as you make yourself more accountable by logging those food choices, you'll see more clearly the types of changes you should make. ALSO, the next time you want to grab for that candybar (or whatever junk) to snack on, you'll have to think about logging it, and how that's going to look on your daily total. Just more accountability to keep you on track.

I'd suggest you start logging while you're ON vacation. If vaca is a "free-for-all" for you (like it is for many people) then you will get an idea of your eating habits at their worst.

**neffjb** · 09-06-2011 02:55 PM

So I went ahead and did the LoseIt just to see what I have done so far today.......and I am about 700 calories over the budget they allow and I haven't even had dinner yet!!! OMG!!! That is def an eye opener....I feel like I didn't even eat that much!!

**KMonte85** · 09-06-2011 02:59 PM

Crazy, isn't it?

You really don't realize what you're putting in your body until it's out there in the open in a nice summary... It was my big eye-opener too, when I first started!

**Cyndie32** · 09-07-2011 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by neffjb

So I went ahead and did the LoseIt just to see what I have done so far today.......and I am about 700 calories over the budget they allow and I haven't even had dinner yet!!! OMG!!! That is def an eye opener....I feel like I didn't even eat that much!!

isn't it crazy. i didn't think i was doing bad either. and my first day on losit iwas 800 calories or more over my daily budget. since starting to us loseit. my weight loss has been much more even and steady. it takes a little getting use to. another thing i though OMG about was portion size. i again thought i new approximate portions. WRONG. i bought a food scale and i was way off on portion sizes as well.