mountaingal

I am 30 and overweight (I weigh 215 and should be about 135-155 for my height). I am struggling to lose weight and I have lost about 20 pounds through diet and exercise. I intend to reach my weight goal, but I have always been overweight and suffer from very bad depression! I have tried pills and therapy but they just don't do the trick. Exercise seems to be the only thing that helps at all. I have lost almost all my family and pushed away most of my friends because of some other issues going on. I am REALLY lonely and very, very depressed. I have a guy friend that I have known for about four years, that lately has really started making jokes about fat people (all people pretty much!) He is literally my only friend at this point, but I know that is just no longer healthy. To top if off, I at 30 am a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend and never even kissed a guy and I feel so worthless as a person.

Does anyone have any suggestions for helping me build my self confidence and having the life I dream of (skinny, healthy, married and children....and happy). I am just struggling and it is the life I feel I need because looking down a dark life alone is about more than I can tolerate.

Please help...suggestions...pearls of wisdom, etc?

sourpuss

You are NOT worthless!! So please stop telling yourself that.

You are on the right track. Keep up with the diet and exercise. At this point (with your weight) it's about health, you need to lose the weight for yourself. Not to be skinny, not to find a guy, but to live a long healthy life. Treat your body well, it's the only one you'll get.

Are you still a virgin because you always push people away? Have you confided in your friend that you are unhappy and want to make some changes in your life? Sounds like you need a support system and that's what friends are for. Tell him the jokes make you uncomfortable.

Can you join weight-watchers where you live? From what I understand it's the sort of environment that is based on a support system, which builds confidence and friendships and helps you stay motivated.

I would suggest seeing another counselor, find one who you like and are comfortable with and maybe they can help you come up with a plan to get your life back on track.

Keep up the good work on the diet and exercise and post here to let us know how it is going. Please.

Take care.

jazzygal72

I can't say it any better than Sourpuss did.

If you have to stand in front of the mirror and say outlod a thousand times "I am worthwhile, beautiful and anyone should be PROUD to know me" than thats what you NEED to do. (ok, maybe not a thousand- I mean you do have things that need to get done, right? )

Do things for yourself. Just for you, no one else.

Go get a hair cut, a facial, a pedicure or even a massage. Do something that makes you feel pretty. If money is an issue, light a candle and pamper yourself in the bath tub with bubbles and body scrubs.

Sing and be silly.

Do something that you LOVE to do.

You get one life and you have to make it the best life possible.

I was once EXACTLY where you were. Only I weighed 300 lbs and had to lose it. I weigh 180 now, and although I am not "skinny" (at all) I feel like a million bucks! I pamper myself at LEAST once a week in one way or another.

You can do this. Once you get going you'll see!!

IM me if you need anything!!

Jazz

sourpuss

I would also suggest getting the book or the movie "The Secret", it's all about positive thinking and self talk and how to use it to bring about change in your life.

higherpower

I need help also an I will check everyday for any help I can get.

mmontgomery891

I feel so worthless as a person.

Imagine your body, your life and all around you was being created by an amazing sculptor whose talent was immeasurable. There was one small catch with this artist. He had no imagination, no vision, no idea what to create. His only input, his only vision was supplied by a direct link into your thoughts.

Yes he has the talent to create anything in your world, build anything for you, form anything for you, but he could only draw upon what you see yourself as, and what you see your life as. His limitation is imposed by you.

I have spoken to many people in your predicament and I usually ask them this question first. If they are being honest with themselves, and honest with me, they usually tell me that their current life is what they have provided to their artist through their fears, doubts and lack of faith in themselves and what is possible in this world.

Do the thoughts of a beautiful, thinner confident you far outweigh the thoughts of an overweight you who lacks confidence?

All actions and outcomes are a product of an initial thought. Sure if the initial thought is bad, we can end up down some pretty bad roads, but there is always a place where you can stop and change the initial thoughts to good ones, and enjoy the actions and outcomes that spawn from them.

I would love to continue this conversation with you if you are interested.

Dorothy123

Why not try acupuncture for weight loss?