My boyfriend doesn't turn me on... help!

[KateyBaby]

I didnt not feel comfortable having sex with him.

I didnt mean I didnt not feel comfortable. lol. I meant I DIDNT. oops. Lets get that one clear. I hated the THOUGHT of having sex with him. We didnt have sex for the year we were together after I got pregnant. And when I tried to, I cried...I just didnt want to touch him and didnt want him to touch me. I also didnt give him bjs like you give your guy.

[KateyBaby]

tell your man that you need some time away ( like a month or 2 with no contact!) seek counseling, then re-evaluate the situation. you are not breaking up with him, just give yourself some space. You never know, you might surprise yourself with how well you do without him!!

I think this is a good idea. Have you found out if he is definately married yet or not? Its been a little while since you started this thread. Let me tell you something. Before I had my son, I was never single. However, once I got pregnant with him, I was with his 'sperm donor' for over a year. I only stayed with him to have someone. I THOUGHT that he was there for me and I THOUGHT that he took care of me. BUT, the truth is, looking back at the diary entries I had posted on my online thing, I was unhappy. I just felt like I should stay in that relationship. I am so glad that I got out. I didnt not feel comfortable having sex with him. I didnt not LIKE kissing him after I got pregnant. , I didnt even want to hold his HAND! After we broke up, I stayed single for almost two years. I had the best time just hanging out with my sisters and my son. No one to answer to, nobody that I had to BEG for a little bit of money, no one to STRESS ME OUT. That was EXACTLY what my relationship was with that guy. Maybe I didnt want to have sex with him because I knew he'd be a terrible father. Who knows. BUT, now, I am with a guy that I have known since High School and we were friends for a long time before we started dating. We were friends before my son was even thought of. Andrew has truely been here for me through a lot. More than any man ever has. I may g through periods when I dont want to hav sex but Im sure every woman who gets stressed out about things does.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is, if I can leave that sperm donor who hardly gave me the time of day and always griped about me spending money on things for MY son, then you can lose that guy and find someone MUCH better! I found my guy. Go find your true guy.

[lovemyself1]

i think that you really do need to look into counseling for yourself. it is not healthy for you to be so dependent on your bf. you need to love yourself first! tell your man that you need some time away ( like a month or 2 with no contact!) seek counseling, then re-evaluate the situation. you are not breaking up with him, just give yourself some space. You never know, you might surprise yourself with how well you do without him!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

NEVER say u are scared to be hurt again,NEVER.There is always a good guy somewhere there

I really had to highlight that... It's like if you don't dream, you will never wake up......

Well said.

CW

[kerapetse]

Your situation sounds more of a sugar-daddy as i read through.U love the fact that he is old enough to take care of u,sweet,loving etc.But deep down in your heart do u realy want this man or just in it for the protection & all that.Tell u what sweety never let a broken heart stand in your chance to love & be loved because u state that u have been hurt before & dont want to go through it again.The age gap is also a big deal here,he has done it far more times than u have & believe me he gets irritated everytime u say it hurt & cries.U cant be in a relationship simlpy because he protects u & takes care of u,are u sure thats how u want to live.Having to wonder what to do to avoid sex with him when he comes over everytime,i dont think so.If u cant stand the heat,Get out of the kitchen.Simple as that my dear,the decision is yours.Stay & suffer yourself emotionally & physically or find someone you can explore with since you are inexperienced.NEVER say u are scared to be hurt again,NEVER.There is always a good guy somewhere there.

[ThexMrs]

ThexMrs, is discussing her own situation, simular as ages go in relationships with the threader.

Yes, I sure am.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

hmm...One of my posts disappeared...weird. Anywho, I meant TheXMrs and WildChild Not chandlerswish. I got another thread mixed up.

Nup, you got this one mixed up

Chandlers Wish is the person whom "stated" the guy is married. Wildchild agrees, ThexMrs, is discussing her own situation, simular as ages go in relationships with the threader.

I think KateyBaby needs to re-read and eat, lol, before she replies to a thread....

CW

[KateyBaby]

hmm...One of my posts disappeared...weird. Anywho, I meant TheXMrs and WildChild Not chandlerswish. I got another thread mixed up.

[ThexMrs]

To ThexMrs: It's really sad that your brothers don't accept your boyfriend. Those are exactly the type of reactions that I fear I would receive if I told anyone about my boyfriend. It is fantastic that you have your mum's support though, and I hope that the rest of your family accepts your relationship in time

It is really sad but I know that once they meet him it will be totally different. They will have to accept him and once they get to see the way he acts and treats me, they'll see how great he is. That's really what I am waiting for but that will have to wait because next time I'm meeting his family. I'm EXCITED but also NERVOUS! He said the only one I have to worry about is his sister. She's about 3 years older than he is and she's "Mother Hen." She's really the one I'm afraid of, lol. He said that she will love me, that they all will. I'm glad to hear that.

I do have her support somewhat. She still tells me to see other people because I'm young and my life is just beginning but regardless, I love my boyfriend and he IS what I want without a doubt. Two weeks ago though she finally accepted that I love him. She came out and said, "I know you love him." During a talk we were having. That has changed everything.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I don't know what else to say, seriously.

Except this:-

1. As long as you are with this man - you will never meet a man you can spend 7 days a week with, sleep over night with, have breakfast with, get dressed up and go out to dinner with, meet his family and him yours.......

2. He's married, he's told you so.... And, we've explained why he can't call you, it's because he can't because he is MARRIED... not separated, or living in the same house, separated, but married or else he could and would call and in addition, stay over or see you at night time, because, he's separated.

3. As such, his wife probably has NO IDEA, what so ever, whilst she is cooking his meals, cleaning the house, sleeping next to him every night of the week, 7 days a week, having sex with him, whilst you are there waiting for 2 day a week, day time visit.

Is there someone that you trust that you can confide all of this with and let them check it all out for you?

If you found out that he is married, and sleeps with her every night would it make a difference to you?

What about her? The lady who has no idea what he is doing behind her back?

I know you don't "think" you can have someone treat you nicely but you can, and I know you don't believe that you can find a boy to have a relationship with but you can.

Your swapping lonliness for "part lonliness" at the end of the day, you know your lonley the other 5 days of the week, every night when you go to bed...... when you eat your meals alone......

ALONE...

What's the difference?

We all hate being alone sweet.... But, this is wrong on so many levels...

A boyfriend, takes you out
A boyfriend, stays over
A boyfriend, meets your friends
A boyfriend, sees you night and day

You need a boyfriend, for sure, not an affair with a married man...

Sorry... I'm not giving you a hard time but you really need to see that your clinging to something because you have nothing else to cling to.

CW