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Why Are Some Men Afraid Of Marriage? He Just Won't Propose!

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  • Oh look another whamyn trying to tell us what we are.

    so original.

    let me remind you : men donf owe women marriage. Just like you women didnt owe us intimacy and relationships when you were young and were interested in other men.


    i have been alone so far. Insert incel comments here.

    I came alone this far. I wasnt cool enough, thrilling enougb attractive enough so far.

    good.

    now at this side of 30 all those dwomen who so far wanted to **** the older richer more popular man, the bad boys, the band members, etc and said to my face that i was not fun enough are all coming out the wood ready to get married and settle down.

    Why should i marry now an used up second hand ***** with cellulite and sagging titties who so far was warming some other tom **** or harry's bed and now desperate to find a good guy who takes responsibility and has to do more work, while the same ***** wouldn't even look at me 5 years ago when i still didnt have my material success.

    I am about as afraid to marry such an used ***** as i am to eat putrid rotten meat. I know mh worth, and i will not settle for the cesspit that is modern women seekibg marriage.


    Also, reminder men dont owe women anything.

    also, havibg a job and education doesnt make you attractive.

    Comment


    • Yeah, it happens.
      I dated a guy in my twenties, we were in a relationship for many years, yet he never proposed me, So, one day, I proposed him and now...



      we are married.

      If you are in a relationship and want to marry your partner, don't wait, just propose!

      Comment


      • Honestly I think the idea of "waiting for him to pop the question" is so archaic. Deciding to get married should be a conversation not a big stunt at a baseball game or whatever. If you want to get married, sit down and talk about it! We're socialized to think we need a big romantic gesture but I just don't think that's a realistic way to make a huge life decision. The idea of waiting and hoping for the man in the relationship to make the life changing decision, and thinking he won't because he's "scared of marriage" is old fashioned and based on outdated gender norms. Tell him what you want! Communicate!!

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Gena G. View Post
          Honestly I think the idea of "waiting for him to pop the question" is so archaic. Deciding to get married should be a conversation not a big stunt at a baseball game or whatever. If you want to get married, sit down and talk about it! We're socialized to think we need a big romantic gesture but I just don't think that's a realistic way to make a huge life decision. The idea of waiting and hoping for the man in the relationship to make the life changing decision, and thinking he won't because he's "scared of marriage" is old fashioned and based on outdated gender norms. Tell him what you want! Communicate!!
          My wife to be asked if we would get married [together] first. It was great. It took a lot of pressure and uncertainty out of the situation and moved the relationship along fairly quickly. We didn't talk a lot about it before that time but afterwards a lot of discussions took place, setting up everything. Of course, once I went back to the USA, she had to carry forward with the planning. In those days, telephones in the Thai countryside were useless and mail took a long time. Also, there was a language barrier which took some time after marriage to get managed (I learned Thai better than she learned English). After consulting a fortune teller, she set a date. My part was to show up on time and with enough money for the marriage, the bride price and the party. It seems to have worked, we are still married more than 31 years later.
          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
          ...
          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

          Comment


          • Marriage was a joint discussion with my wife too. And that was 25+ years ago. We even picked out rings together, decided not to have a traditional wedding, etc. As JNS said, takes a lot of the pressure out of it. Also, YOU get what you want rather than relying on him to plan it out with you in the dark waiting.

            Comment


            • I love all the great comments and really agree with Gena G. this is not poker or a scratch-lottery game...you can't just wait for "luck" and fate to happen, or cajole or push someone to ask you to marry them!

              It's a grown-up conversation -- strip out the fairy tale, Disney princess and rom-com societal delusions, and you've got 2 people with different hopes, fears, aspirations, and ways of looking at the world -- neither of them is right, wrong, or should feel bad about how they feel.

              Talk about the reasons why you do, or don't want to get married, and if they are also related to actually being in a relationship with that person, or are more philosophical about marriage as a vehicle to show your commitment, societal pressure, and expected norms.

              I think what most might be referring to when they are "waiting for the man to propose" is perhaps an underlying reality and fear that perhaps...that person actually does NOT want to be with them.

              Those are the discussions that should take place in a natural and organic way.

              Then if one person absolutely must have marriage as an inherent goal they've always wanted or need, and the other doesn't you can talk about next steps, or whether this is the right relationship for both people.

              It's funny how far great communication can take us!

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Johnxc View Post
                Oh look another whamyn trying to tell us what we are.

                so original.

                let me remind you : men donf owe women marriage. Just like you women didnt owe us intimacy and relationships when you were young and were interested in other men.


                i have been alone so far. Insert incel comments here.

                I came alone this far. I wasnt cool enough, thrilling enougb attractive enough so far.

                good.

                now at this side of 30 all those dwomen who so far wanted to **** the older richer more popular man, the bad boys, the band members, etc and said to my face that i was not fun enough are all coming out the wood ready to get married and settle down.

                Why should i marry now an used up second hand ***** with cellulite and sagging titties who so far was warming some other tom **** or harry's bed and now desperate to find a good guy who takes responsibility and has to do more work, while the same ***** wouldn't even look at me 5 years ago when i still didnt have my material success.

                I am about as afraid to marry such an used ***** as i am to eat putrid rotten meat. I know mh worth, and i will not settle for the cesspit that is modern women seekibg marriage.


                Also, reminder men dont owe women anything.

                also, havibg a job and education doesnt make you attractive.
                Well the important thing is, you’re not bitter. ??

                Comment


                • it does seem many today don't want to rush into marriage
                  finances are often an issue

                  Comment


                  • I agree with Gena G. Sometimes experiencing a "grand gesture" is the goal, rather than building a marriage. The photo op. and social media posting that accompanies proposals seem to be more gratifying than the preparation for the marriage. I agree that getting married *should* be the result of 2 adults having an ongoing discussion about it and reaching the mutual conclusion that it's the right thing for them both. Instead, it's sometimes just the thing people do because it's what they seem to think they're supposed to do, or some other peripheral influence. I think a lot of focus is on the ring, the engagement and the wedding, and all the fun that surrounds those experiences.

                    Comment


                    • I also agree with Gena G. -- in both my marriages, we talked about what we wanted and what our future might look like, including marriage, long before there was an official proposal. In my second (and current) marriage, I brought it up and we discussed it much like we discussed anything else in our relationship. Yes, he "officially" proposed but it wasn't a grand gesture and it wasn't the most important aspect. And the fact that he would propose wasn't a surprise at all.

                      While we both wanted to get married, it wasn't the "point" of our relationship. It was another step we decided to take together - not a destination to arrive at. If one (or both) of us had not wanted to take that step, we would have discussed that, too. And I think we'd still be together even if marriage hadn't been something one of us wanted because we genuinely enjoy being in a relationship together, regardless of its structure.

                      Comment

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