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is it considered cheating?

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  • prawnprincess
    replied
    Just a thought

    It seems like the friends with benefits situation is a dead end road. If that's the shortcut and it's easy, then it's hard to go back to being friends or to move on to a serious relationship and the highs and lows that come with it. For me it's easier to just choose one or the other: to be friends or to be together. It may leave you lonely for a while, but at least you're not wasting your time. As just friends you can think back and forth about a guy's possibility of being a good match for you or being a mistake. How can you meet the man of your dreams while you're sleeping with someone else?

    Leave a comment:


  • miss.sin.t.uh
    replied
    yea i agree too. I told him after that, it was hard but he didn't mind as much, I WAS SINGLE. However, we are over now anyways for other reasons.

    Leave a comment:


  • OG612
    replied
    It wasn't cheating. You could call it "an affair of the heart." But since you were not exclusive with them, it's not cheating. It's called casual sex. What they are to you are, believe it or not, Friends With Benefits (I would use a different term but I can't remember what kind of language is tolerated here).

    If it is really bothering you that much, the only thing you can do is come clean to the one you want. Keeping a secret that is such a burden is bad for your physical and mental health.

    OG

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
    You can't hold secrets on the fact that you know in your heart they would leave you...

    You can't build a life with someone without trust.

    That's my thoughts.

    There were reasons and as a result you found a solution imagine though if he found out through a friend of a friend?

    Don't know.

    We can make mistakes but relationships are built on trust....

    Holding back is really lying.........

    CW
    Once again.....agreed 100%.

    I don't understand how anyone can expect to maintain a relationship based on lies.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by lilduck View Post
    MAYBE you should tell both of them that you are sleeping with someone else. see how they react. this could be a harsh but good test, cuz you;ll get to see how accepting they really are of you. i wouldn't be surprised if both storm off, but if you're meant to be with one, he'll come back if you chase him.
    That's a pretty immature statement....not to mention i'll advised and downright wrong.

    Any man with any self respect is going to RUN from a woman who treated him in such a way. Any man worth pursuing a relationship with wouldn't give that woman the time of day.

    Wow.

    Leave a comment:


  • CHANDLERS WISH
    replied
    Im sure its him i want. But I wasnt ready for commitment, now I am. I just want to be with him, however i moved and we now live 100 miles away from each other. so we are going to see what happens. I wont tell him that i slept with someone else unless he asks. I know it would break him.
    but if he asks i can't lie to him.
    You can't hold secrets on the fact that you know in your heart they would leave you...

    You can't build a life with someone without trust.

    That's my thoughts.

    There were reasons and as a result you found a solution imagine though if he found out through a friend of a friend?

    Don't know.

    We can make mistakes but relationships are built on trust....

    Holding back is really lying.........

    CW

    Leave a comment:


  • lilduck
    replied
    MAYBE you should tell both of them that you are sleeping with someone else. see how they react. this could be a harsh but good test, cuz you;ll get to see how accepting they really are of you. i wouldn't be surprised if both storm off, but if you're meant to be with one, he'll come back if you chase him. but don't spend too long chasing... maybe this isn't the right way for you. whatever you do, all the best

    Leave a comment:


  • miss.sin.t.uh
    replied
    thank you guys so much.
    i am going to break it off with the toher guy
    i was going to wait to do in person but i always find it easier
    another way. simply because i hate hurting ppl
    i will end up crying while doing it
    and ill go blank and forget about everythihng i wanted to say
    but i am going to do it anyways in person. i don't want him
    to think it was all a game for me. i dont want him to think i
    dont really care about him. I just want to do what is right.
    as for my ex. we're talking about being back together but
    we are going to keep it as friends with benefits for now.

    Im sure its him i want. But I wasnt ready for commitment, now I am. I just want to be with him, however i moved and we now live 100 miles away from each other. so we are going to see what happens. I wont tell him that i slept with someone else unless he asks. I know it would break him.
    but if he asks i can't lie to him.

    Leave a comment:


  • jdo309
    replied
    I feel for you because I am in the same situation. I cheated on my boyfriend before. You have to know which one you really want, make up you mind and stick to it. I feel that it is your bf. If so tell the other guy that you want to end relationship, take my advice, you shouldn't tell him in person because when you see him, you might end up not be able to break it off and still keep seeing him and may be sleep with him again, it will be harder and harder to break it off because your emotion is more developed.

    As long as you let the other guy know, text or call, keep it short, so he can move on as well. Make sure to tell him that you want to be back with your bf, because you still love you bf whatever, be honest to yourself and the other guy, if he respect you, he wouldn't try to convince you to come back to him. After you tell him, there is no need to contact him again, even he contact you, don't respond. you have to stay clean.

    For your bf, its your choice to tell him or not.

    If you decide not to tell, you have to live with it. It will only hurt him if he know. Sometimes its better off not to know.

    If you decide to tell him, be honest about it. If he ask you first because he suspect, you got one shot. Dont lie and try to cover up. It will make things worse if he find out later on. Be honest, at least it will make him feel better about you.

    Now it depends on your bf, let him decide whether or not he will try to work thing out with you. Its up to him and respect his decision because you are the one who cheat. If you are lucky, he would forgive you and try to work things out with you. Most important, stay clean after he forgive you, do not contact the other guy no matter what,and tell yourself, don't let this happen to you again. If you can do it, you will earn your trust back one day.

    If he decide not to be with you, you have to move on. I know, its hard to take but you have to.


    If you still have more question, let me know. Hope this help you. Good luck.

    Leave a comment:


  • 1sweetbuttalove
    replied
    to be honest with you if yall broke up and it seems like you two are just friends with benefits i dont think its considered cheating i mean everything happens for a reason right??????? i would break it off with the guy you dont want and get together with the other i know its easier said then done but you have to do what YOU feel is right

    Leave a comment:

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