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I feel so alone!

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  • Drama28
    replied
    Throwing stones, is that really what God would want?

    Okay, I totally understand if people don't like what I have done. I made it very clear right from the begining. Emily_Dudley1*hotmail.com wow, God would be so proud of you! You are throwing stones at someone you don't even know. How christian is that? Do you think God would like you to do that? I understand if you think what I have done is a sin, but come on! You don't need to tell me I am going to hell. That is a bit much. I will be judged by God when my days are up, and I am willing to accept anything that happens. I know that he was married, but I fell in love with him. I certainly don't think a loving God would send me to hell for falling in love with someone! That is just my opinion. Everyone makes mistakes and God is forgiving and loving, I don't think he would be like "you commited adultury, now you go to hell". Whatever. By the way, what he has done, it takes 2 to tango, is tearing up my family also. WE have a daughter together! What do you think her dad abandoning her at 15 months old will do to her in the future? Is that okay for him to do? Is his wife more important than his own flesh and blood that he WANTED to bring into this world, and then just left when she became inconvienient? If anybody is doing something wrong right now it isn't me. I am trying my best to get my life back into shape and take care of my daughter. He is cowering in a river of denial and hoping we will just disapear like we never existed! Wow, that is certainly mature and Godlike too isn't it? At least I deal with the reality of my situation every day, I don't deny what has happened and I will move on reguardless of what he choses to do.
    kittie21692000 Thanks so much to you for your wishes. I hope your boyfriends mom is doing okay too. I will do my best to take care of my kids w/or without their dads in the picture. I have been doing it for a long time and will continue no matter what happens. To anyone else who just wants to insult me, just think of what you would do if you were in my shoes, and like I said before, NEVER say NEVER about it happening. I prob. would have thought that like 5 years ago too, but things happen. Life happens when you are busy saying it will never happen. Just think about it, or what if I was your sister or best friend, would God want you to leave your sister or friend if they had done it? I really doubt that. At least not the God I believe in.

    Leave a comment:


  • nicky2007
    replied
    i think telling her that shes going to go to hell is a bit ott!

    Leave a comment:


  • Emily_Dudley1@hotmail.com
    replied
    It is not o.k.

    Originally posted by Drama28 View Post
    I really hope someone can help me! I feel so alone and don't know what to do. Here is the problem...I am almost 28 and have been seeing a man who is 51 for the last 3 years. He has been married for almost 30 years to someone else. Things were great until the other night. He finally told her the truth on Sun. night and called me on Mon. morning saying she was up all night crying and he can never see me again. We have had a wonderful relationship and have a beautiful 15 month-old daughter. He had just told me 2 days prior to this (while spending the night in my bed holding me),that he wanted to be with us and he would never do anything to hurt us and he wouldn't leave us. I am so upset, mad, and confused. I know I got myself into this, but his relationship with her had not been good for many years before I came into the picture. She doesn't like to be seen out in public with him, she makes fun of him, and shows no respect for him at all. His children with her are grown and I understand feeling guilty, but he said he is in love with me and his heart belongs to me, you can't just turn those feelings off! I am trying to wait patiently to let things settle down at his house, but I am so scared of what the future holds and what to do! I know this is a long post but I really need advice! Thanks!
    Look you entered into a relationship that already needed marriage counsuling. NO one is going to feel sorry for you because he was married and is not going to leave his wife cause deep down inside he still loves her. what he is telling you is to not hurt you because he cares about you. Just because they have problems and name calling I am sure he does the same. You were just a temporary fill in to take away his longing for his wifes affection. Remember something they are married and you need to stay out of thier buissiness. You are tearing up a home and that is a devastating thing for a family. You also sinned big time. Leave that womens man alone. He feeds you full of crap and you fall for it. You will never get him and do you think God is on your side. Are you willing to go to hell for this and what goes around comes around. He will do the same to you after he is tired of you.

    Leave a comment:


  • kittie21692000
    replied
    hope

    My boyfriends mother was the "other women" they had 5 kids together and in the end he left her for someone else. My boyfriend now has 5 siblings and 12 half siblings and that was before he lost track of him 3 yrs ago. Please do what u see is best for u and ur little girl. Millions of women are single moms, be strong and even know it hurts know that it might be over. I wish u the best.

    Leave a comment:


  • Stealthkitty
    replied
    To Bluemoon, thanks for the explanation and good luck on the exam and in practice.

    To Drama, good luck!

    Leave a comment:


  • Drama28
    replied
    Thanks Bluemoon!

    Bluemoon, I am so glad that you responded and explained things to those who misunderstood you. I definately think you will be/are a great lawyer. It is refreshing to hear positive reinforcement from someone who knows what they are talking about. Yes, I'm sure things in the US are slightly different but it doesn't make you any less capable of being a wonderful lawyer. Yes,I am glad all of the DNA is done and taken care of. Now I just wait for the paperwork and see what happens financially and then he will get served and we will go to court(seeing that he most likely will not just sign the recognition of parantage so we could be done faster). Anyway, thanks to the rest of you too for your care and concern. Yes, Kish I do blame myself, I take full responsibility for the entire affair. I should have known better and never got involved, but when you are friends and fall in love stuff happens. Like I said, 5 years ago I wouldn't have thought this would have happened either, but you can NEVER say NEVER. It takes 2 to tango and I believe that we should both be held accountable. Especially considering even though we were married, our daughter was NOT an accident, we both wanted to have her, she was an intentional baby, she was wanted not just an "Ooops!" That is one of the very few reasons that I believe he should take his part of the responsibility. She is just as much his kid as the rest of his children and she should be treated the same....yes, I'm sure that won't happen, but it should. If she will not get a fair chance at being his daughter than he should at least take the responsibility financially, and that part I have taken care of so she will not miss out. Yes, I know I deserve better. That is why I am doing my best to move on and do all I can to fix the situation. I am still deeply in love with him and I'm not sure if/when that will ever go away. I know that is rediculous considering the way I have been treated, but I can't explain it. I just wish that he was as miserable as I am. I wish she would kick his *** out and make him feel how horrible life really is. Not that I want him or she shouldn't have him, if she wants to be miserable with him and stuff, go for it, I can do better. But it is the thought of them continuing life as if it never happened is what makes me mad. I want him to know that it is real and I want him to be in pain and suffer like we have. I have never been a mean person, but I just want him to know the trauma he has caused that he has been able to just pretend didn't exist. Oh well. Who knows what the future brings. Only time will tell what will happen. Maybe in a year or 2 she will get tired of the BS and kick him out and when he comes crawling back I can kick him in the face and show him that you can't cause that kind of dammage and just get back to the wonderful things you had before you threw it away. Well, Happy 4th of July everybody. I wish I could say I care about this holiday, just another day to me. Please just hope and pray things get better. That is all I ask...I don't have much more to go on. I will survive, I always do, but I want my kids to enjoy life, not just merely survive it like I do. I want to be happy again. Thanks again and I'll keep you posted if anything changes.

    Leave a comment:


  • BlueMoon82
    replied
    This is beside the point...if there ever was one...

    To Kitty and Kalar:
    (not intended as an offense but just for your information)
    I'm from Canada...I lived in Quebec (we speak french there)..My first language is french!!!! I also went to law school in french. My english may not be perfect but still it's pretty good and it never cause me any problems.. Anyway the way I see it and the fact that I post here mostly during the night...I don't have my grammar books with me each time I'm posting something. (lol) Sorry about that i guess and for every misunderstanding that might have come from it!

    Second of all, I went to law school and got my degree in Law...I've been to University and I also have a degree as a paralegal...When I said "bar school" I was referring to the intensive program we have here after law school. Which is like professional courses to prepare yourself for law pratice, like the implications, professional ethic, etc..It's call Bar school (Bar school (legal) = École du Barreau (juridique)) and No, they don't serve drinks there! We have go through the Bar school formation to become a "lawyer" here. Anyway maybe you don't have the same thing there in the U.S. .

    And I wanted to add that by no means I intend to diminish anyone capacity as a lawyer...You seem both very good at what you do...I just think I can be good too, but by doing it differently. By the way...I'm intend to practice in criminal law on prosecutor side...Which mean I won't be ask to fight for a client in particular...I'll represent the "state" as we say it here... I'll deal with witness, experts, autorities (police and all) and victims. I think it's a different type of practice compare to civil law and it suits me better.


    To Drama82
    (here's my email melina_g*hotmail.com)
    I know it's been a while before I posted here but thanks for taking my defense about my writing capacity in english while I was gone lol
    I'm glad to hear that the DNA test has proven that he is in deed the father. I'm proud of you for makes in a priority like that to get that sorted out. You did good! I hope your doing better theses days...You should feel good about the fact that after what all that happen with him you've come a long way. I believe that you are a resilient person and you did what needed to be done. You come a long way from the first normal shock of these sort of thing, look how determined and stronger you are now. It's great to see that! I wish you the best and feel free to email or msn me if you want .Take care!
    Last edited by BlueMoon82; 07-04-2007, 01:26 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • KISH
    replied
    Be Happy!!!!!

    I Feel So Sorry For You. Three Years Is A Long Time To Give Your Heart To A Man To Have It Broken. Married Or Not. In So Many Ways You Only Have Yourself To Blame As You Entered Into Your Relationshiop Hoping For Him To Leave His Wife. But Then Again I Guess That You Were Hopeful Being That Sometimes They Do Leave Their Wives. A Man Can Only Do What You Allow Him To Do. My Question For You Is...why Did You Stay Even After You See That He Didnt Leave His Wife After The First Time That He Said That He Would. 30 Years Is A Long Time To Throw Down The Drain...even For Three Years And A Baby.

    Forgive Me For Saying So But Maybe He Wasnt For You. If He Could Lie To Both You And His Wife For So Long...what Kind Of Man Is He...and Why Would You Settle For Someone Like That? Think About This.....what If He Left His Wife For You And Ended Up Doing The Same Thing You? You'd Be Up All Night Crying As Well.

    Every Woman Deserves Better. Now That He Has Decided Not To See You...and Even If Its Hurting...think Of A Good Thing. Now You Can Find A Monogomous Boyfriend. One Who'll Love Both You And Your Baby. Believe Me...there's Someone Better Fr You. You Wont Have To Deal With The Pain Of Having Your Man Leave Your Bed To Go To The Bed Of Another Woman. (have You Thought About That?) You Gotta Move On For You And Your Baby. Good Luck And Take Care.

    Leave a comment:


  • nicky2007
    replied
    glad you decided to post again drama was only yesterday i was wondering how things where going for you. getting the dna results back is a huge step, and i hope what ever happens in the future its works out well for you and you family, keep us updated, good luck xxx

    Leave a comment:


  • Stealthkitty
    replied
    You haven't been thrown away. You have awaken. Now the healing process can begin. You didn't lose anything. There was no love; there were no good times. In time you will see this and realize what a selfish rotten person this man really is. Good luck to you.

    Leave a comment:

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