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Confused...

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  • Confused...

    So I have a boyfriend for a year and 4 months now, I really like him. I have no doubt on that. We like like 80km from eachother, and my work doesn't help much but the days off i have, i go there. There's not a problem till there. We speak on internet everyday, but not much, cause he passes all the time playing video games, and almost doesn't answer to me, but when he knows I'm getting mad because of that he gets all cute and stuff. So like 3 months ago i met a guy, and i guess it's just an illusion in my head but i think i like him, mostly because he gives me attention ALL day, even in his breaks at university. when we are not speaking on telephone or webcam, we are texting, and like a month ago i went to the cinema with him. he kissed me. I didn't say no. I regretted the minute after that. I.... I hate cheating. I hate because i've been cheated once, and i know how it hurts when you love the person who cheated on you. And i've never cheated before. But I didn't tell my bf cause I know that the minute i tell him is the minute that all this ends. But i feel bad at myself, and I don't know why i think i like this guy. I mean, everyone says , if you first of all loved your bf there should be ''no space'' for you to like anyone else. Well I don't know how to deal with all this...

  • I think you should step back and re-evaluate your current relationship. It is obvious you went to this other man because you are not getting your emotional needs met through your current boyfriend. The question to ask is, do you both want to invest in making this relationship work or should you just move on and find someone that lives closer and can provide you what you need without this huge extra effort. I think you need to talk with your boyfriend about how you feel neglected and you need more from him. See if he is willing to give more to the relationship. If he is not willing to make an effort, or if you really don't want to deal with the long distance relationship, then its better to end things now.
    Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

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    • I know what is like to be attracted to more than one guy at the same time, I think that kinda normal. Just gotta be careful about not misleading anyone. Guys can quickly get the wrong impression if you are still single, so going to the movies and seeing the other guy a lot can quickly give him the impression you are interested in pursuing a relationship. I have never cheated on a bf, but there have been plenty of temptations and guys wanting me to come back to their place to have sex, especially when my bf was not around and far away.

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      • mimii, sooner or later you will have to consider telling your bf about the other guy you met. If not, it's likely keeping it a secret could cause a strain on your relationship.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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