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Am I with the wrong guy....or is it me?

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  • Originally posted by effy2014 View Post
    I am not sure what response will be relevant to you. No one but you can answer your question.

    You need to prioritize was is truly important to you and decide if your boyfriend can provide it to you. On one side, you value being taken care of. Someone who will anticipate your needs and take care of the ones that are difficult for you. You value someone who can add to the family finances and who is more intellectual. You want a peaceful home that is not full of drama. You will find none of those with your current BF.


    On the other side, you appear to like a bit of drama in your life. Opposites often attract, albeit for the wrong reasons. You want the extrovert in him to compensate for the introvert in you. He has family, which you have run away from. He is more attentive than the other "more stable" men that have been in your life. He appears not to intrude on the decision making in your own life, which you view as both a plus and a minus. And you may like the co-dependency that often comes from being with an alcoholic.

    Rank order what you need and want. Decide which ones he meets and which ones he can't satisfy. If you are honest with yourself, the answer will be on the paper.
    Honestly, all of the advice has been relevant so thank you. I just wanted to clear up that I did not run away from my family. I moved away because of reasons involved in my previous marriage. I was not running from my family. I just did not move back once I divorced my ex husband. Another point worth mentioning is that I absolutely do not like a bit of drama. I like things calm. Thanks for the advice , (to all who replied to my posting).
    Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have...

    Comment


    • Maybe you guys should take some time apart to get both of your situations worked out. Its hard to take care of another person when you cant take care of yourself. Its not necessarily that you guys don't belong together but you two need to both organize your lives.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by bsand94 View Post
        Maybe you guys should take some time apart to get both of your situations worked out. Its hard to take care of another person when you cant take care of yourself. Its not necessarily that you guys don't belong together but you two need to both organize your lives.
        Excellent advice, Thank you!
        Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have...

        Comment


        • If you feel compelled to ask if your SO is wrong for you, then chances are the answer is yes. Otherwise, you wouldn't be questioning the viability of your relationship. Staying with a person because you fear being alone is not the answer and you'll definitely miss out on Mr. Right if you're afraid to take that leap.

          Taking a break is excellent advice. Space and distance offers both of you the opportunity to re-evaluate where you're at and where you want to be in the future. Getting away from the day to day conundrums will help you assess your life and gives you clarity.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Euphoric View Post
            If you feel compelled to ask if your SO is wrong for you, then chances are the answer is yes. Otherwise, you wouldn't be questioning the viability of your relationship. Staying with a person because you fear being alone is not the answer and you'll definitely miss out on Mr. Right if you're afraid to take that leap.

            Taking a break is excellent advice. Space and distance offers both of you the opportunity to re-evaluate where you're at and where you want to be in the future. Getting away from the day to day conundrums will help you assess your life and gives you clarity.
            Thank you! I have decided to end my relationship at this time so that I can take some control and allow God to help me through such difficult circumstances. I truly needed this sound advice. I was initially discouraged by some of the negative moral judgements that I received at the beginning of this posting, but I feel better hearing a more positive perspective. Thanks again!
            Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have...

            Comment


            • Janessa, most of us here aren't really judgmental but we are honest and call it how we see it. We'll be happy to continue supporting you as you progress, if you choose to stick around!

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Janessa Sanders View Post
                Excellent advice, Thank you!
                Happy to be of help I hope things work out!

                Comment

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