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Am I with the wrong guy....or is it me?

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  • Motorguy
    replied
    Originally posted by Janessa Sanders View Post
    Thank you for responding, the only thing I will say is that I realize that it is hard to comment when you do not know me as an individual. It is easy to pass judgment. I already mentioned that I made a mistake, but I will not describe myself an irresponsible person unworthy of the love of a good guy, just because I did not handle this important business. Lets keep this in perspective. This had been a difficult time for me as I have been grieving a loss of my son, so yes, I was a bit depressed as well and did not feel like dealing with the DMV.
    I have to agree with Kitty, on this none of us knew about the passing of your son. That could be the issue of forgetting about your DMV issues along with others things. My self I feel for you in your lost, and to say have you seek some kind of therapy to deal with these issue you are going through now.

    Leave a comment:


  • atskitty2
    replied
    I'm sorry for the loss you're suffering. How long ago did your son pass away?
    It's a good idea to share such details when soliciting advice of strangers, so we have a fuller scope.

    I think my thoughts still ring true tho'. I think if you're depressed you need less drama and need to take back control of your life and those allowed to share your life, to make sure they're positive influences.

    Seeking some grief counseling is a good idea too. Best of luck dear.

    Leave a comment:


  • jns
    replied
    Originally posted by Claret View Post
    You are both being extremely irresponsible and probably blaming one another for your troubles.
    This^^.

    Leave a comment:


  • Motorguy
    replied
    Well Janessa you both are wrong completely irresponsible you both adults not young adults starting off in your life's together. This guy will never change he will continue to do all these stupid stuff driving while drinking loosing his job over it after being warned. Knowing you will find a way to make it all better and go away so he can keep walking blind through life.My feeling is get away from this guy start your life off fresh without this weight around dragging you down more in to a drain.All I see Janessa is misery for you if you continue on in this relationship till he bankrupts you in the process then what.

    Leave a comment:


  • Janessa Sanders
    replied
    Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
    You ask if you're with the wrong guy, and that is, a loaded question as they say. Or is it you, which is again a very complicated question. You seem to at least have an idea that you're both being irresponsible & childish in your handling of personal affairs. I won't elaborate on that, but give some general, overall thoughts:

    What pops into mind as I finished reading your post is, don't expect others to do for you, what you won't do for yourself.
    And, Be the kind of person you want to be with.
    I'm not meaning to be snarky, but you can't expect this person to take care of you, if you're not willing to take care of you. If you want a responsible, steadfast, trustworthy man, then begin leading your own life in that way.
    And for what it's worth, again, not snarky, but a really good guy, wouldn't settle for your irresponsible, thoughtless behavior either. So that's why I say, BE that person you want to attract. If you're better, better will come to you, and that goes for relationships & just about everything in life.
    Thank you for responding, the only thing I will say is that I realize that it is hard to comment when you do not know me as an individual. It is easy to pass judgment. I already mentioned that I made a mistake, but I will not describe myself an irresponsible person unworthy of the love of a good guy, just because I did not handle this important business. Lets keep this in perspective. This had been a difficult time for me as I have been grieving a loss of my son, so yes, I was a bit depressed as well and did not feel like dealing with the DMV.

    Leave a comment:


  • Janessa Sanders
    replied
    Originally posted by effy2014 View Post
    Janessa:

    Let me answer your question without assessing blame. If you are looking for a man to take care of you or even contribute substantially to you financially, you clearly have the wrong man. He has not shown himself to be at all responsible either with money or his job -- drinking on the job and getting fired after a stern warning. Hoping that he will is simply not reality.
    Thank you for answering my questions without all the blame. This is a learning experience, I have got to manage my personal business better. I also have to figure out what I am really looking for in a man.

    Leave a comment:


  • atskitty2
    replied
    You ask if you're with the wrong guy, and that is, a loaded question as they say. Or is it you, which is again a very complicated question. You seem to at least have an idea that you're both being irresponsible & childish in your handling of personal affairs. I won't elaborate on that, but give some general, overall thoughts:

    What pops into mind as I finished reading your post is, don't expect others to do for you, what you won't do for yourself.
    And, Be the kind of person you want to be with.
    I'm not meaning to be snarky, but you can't expect this person to take care of you, if you're not willing to take care of you. If you want a responsible, steadfast, trustworthy man, then begin leading your own life in that way.
    And for what it's worth, again, not snarky, but a really good guy, wouldn't settle for your irresponsible, thoughtless behavior either. So that's why I say, BE that person you want to attract. If you're better, better will come to you, and that goes for relationships & just about everything in life.

    Leave a comment:


  • Claret
    replied
    I too am not ascribing blame to either one. I think it just a bad combination and until they figure out who is responsible for what and who is accountable and for what, how do they go about fixing it?

    Leave a comment:


  • effy2014
    replied
    Janessa:

    Let me answer your question without assessing blame. If you are looking for a man to take care of you or even contribute substantially to you financially, you clearly have the wrong man. He has not shown himself to be at all responsible either with money or his job -- drinking on the job and getting fired after a stern warning. Hoping that he will is simply not reality.

    Leave a comment:


  • CHANDLERS WISH
    replied
    He went bankrupt to ensure he didn't have to pay anything to his wife, I assume. Does he have children?

    In one year, he's taken over your car, won't pay for anything, I'm sure you "hoped" that you wouldn't be pulled over and would organise the license for the car before being caught but you already know that was irresponsible and he is irresponsible as well.

    Sounds as if you are saying, " I own my car, I keep working and I study and I paid for the move". "He went bankrupt, uses my car, I have to find my own way to places, never helped me, gets drunk, loses his jobs, takes on jobs and uses me, via my car, never pays for anything oh and did I say he was bankrupt? "

    So what are you asking?

    That you were irresponsible and we need to look past that.

    Are you with a loser who is just tagging along, using you, will never be responsible and is he creating debts for you because you are trying to buy his love without realising or realising and not being responsible just like him so should you stay with him? Will he change? Will he support me?

    No.

    I don't believe that he will.

    You need to always look after yourself, no one is going to do it for you.. And, after that what you choose to do with your money is up to you. If the other person never contributes and takes and takes, well I know exactly what that would tell me.

    Leave a comment:

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