Women's Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Am I with the wrong guy....or is it me?

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Claret
    replied
    In pointing out all of the negatives in your relationship I was merely trying to point out that this is not all his fault. You have ownership in much of the "bad luck" that the two of you have gone through (going through). Responsible persons don't allow their cars to be driven by another and not have the where-with-all to pay to get it out of impound. However it was your responsibility to ensure that the car registration was up-to-date and your responsibility to ensure that your license is paid for prior to purchasing items you didn't need.

    You now are discussing you using the remaining car to get to and from work - how can you drive - your license hasn't been renewed and you can't afford to renew it? Is this car registered and insured?

    Are you with the wrong guy? Maybe, but also; maybe he's with the wrong girl, you seem to be feeding off of each other and it's not good from what I see.

    Leave a comment:


  • Janessa Sanders
    replied
    The bankruptcy was something he filed while still married to his ex wife. I was not a part of it. We have been together only 1 year (he moved in with me after losing his job). I would not necessarily agree with you that we are blaming each other, I was just asking for some advice.Yes, I had car insurance.
    Last edited by Janessa Sanders; 07-28-2014, 02:41 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Janessa Sanders
    replied
    Can I just say that I am in my senior year in school preparing to graduate, so why would I drop out to get my financial affairs in order. I am a ten month employee, so the summer is a hard time for me, plus the reason that I am going to school is so that I can pursue a better paying career. So I do not understand the "get your affairs in order and then think about going back to school". It makes no sense, education can open opportunities that are currently not available to me.
    Last edited by Janessa Sanders; 07-28-2014, 02:33 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • jen1447
    replied
    I'm curious why you were driving each other's cars (and how you got stuck with the repo car).

    Leave a comment:


  • calibri~
    replied
    Well it seems that the pair of you have been quite irresponsible and probably blame each other. So in answer to your initial question I think it's your man AND you that have got yourselves in this situation. I don't mean to be rude, but if the car is necessary for one or other of you to get to a job, then keeping your license, registration, tax and insurance uptodate is essential. I can't quite grasp why you spent money on other things than this. It was YOUR car, so YOU are the one who should have sorted the registration. If your financial situation is that dire then I agree with claret;now is not the time to study and buy unnecessary things if you cannot afford them. You need to take stock and responsibility for your finances as a couple. I hope your guy has dealt with his drinking problem because if he can't hold down a job, then you are in an awkward situation.you guys need to talk logistics about cars and busses etc. Bear in mind your remaining car could be repossessed,so both having jobs that are accessible by bus would be a good idea....

    May I ask if your boyfriends license and registration are up to date?

    Leave a comment:


  • Claret
    replied
    You are both being extremely irresponsible and probably blaming one another for your troubles. A bankruptcy, a repossession, a tow, 38 years old and still you blame it all on him, you said you spent money on things you shouldn't have instead of maintaining your license. How many more thumps across the head and shoulders will it take before you shake your head and get a clue. If he was caught drinking on the job it stands to reason that he was probably drinking prior to him going to work, that means he was driving your car while under the influence. How many years do you have in order to pay a multi-million dollar judgement if he gets in an accident while driving your car which by the way I'm going to assume it's not insured, not that it would matter if he was under the influence anyway.

    What course of studies are you in? I think you need to get a good paying job (as does he) get your affairs in order and then think about going back to school.

    Leave a comment:


  • Janessa Sanders
    started a poll Am I with the wrong guy....or is it me?

    Am I with the wrong guy....or is it me?

    4
    Yes, you are with the wrong guy... time to move on
    25.00%
    1
    No, you belong together
    0.00%
    0
    Not sure, give things more time
    25.00%
    1
    You both are wrong for each other, break apart and find happiness elsewhere
    50.00%
    2
    Concerning working as a team and caring and supporting one another in our relationship, I believe that my boyfriend acts and thinks selfishly. I need your advice… The first two paragraphs provide background needed to gain a proper perspective; the final paragraph is what I need advice on. Thanks!

    We both acted neglectfully by allowing our cars’ registrations to expire. I was driving his car and he was driving mine. His car was much nicer than mine, but is in potential repo status due to a bankruptcy in default…long story, mine was paid for. He kept saying he wanted to take care of getting the emissions inspections required to get the cars registered. I inwardly kept hoping that he would, because I did not want to do it and categorized it to be “a man job” anyway. I am a 38-year-old University student and I work as a secretary at a public elementary school. I procrastinated, and spent money on unnecessary things instead of making sure that my car was registered.

    So here we are, it is summer, my car (which he was primarily driving) was towed, and we could not pay to get it out of tow before the deadline. I did not work a summer school job this year, as I typically do, in order to focus on some very challenging course work. Also we just moved, (which I had to pay ALL moving expenses) we had not completely unpacked the car. I lost some important belongings inside of the car, because you are required to show I.D. to claim belongings from a towed vehicle. I allowed my drivers license to expire and do not have the money to renew. Since I have am out of work this summer and did not budget well for this move. But once again, I thought that I could depend on him for some financial care, especially since I have been very giving and financially caring with him since he originally lost his job. We both worked for the school district, he was worked in the Facilities & Maintenance department. It was excellent pay considering his earning potential), He was terminated for being caught drunk at work for the second time, even though he was suspended and sternly warned after the first occurrence.

    I realize that I have responsibility here for being a procrastinator and not handling my personal business relating the car registration and my driver license renewal. But my concern is that I go back to work on this Friday, and I just found out that there is no bus transportation to a job that he is currently going through a hiring process for and will start any day. He just had to quit his previous job last week because it was an hour away and he kept getting stopped for driving an unregistered vehicle. I start back to work in a few days, and once I questioned him about how we will work out transportation, he indicated that will be using our one remaining car and I do not have a way home from work, (I am guessing that he can take me to work since his new job will be second shift). I would take the bus home but he did not factor bus fare into his budget. So I am upset, I am upset because I do not think that he takes care of me. I have only been on my unpaid summer vacation for one month and he cannot hold things down for this one month so that I can concentrate on my studies.

    Am I wrong???
or

Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

Latest Activity On Our Forums

Collapse

  • Reply to Epilady?!?

    Oh man... I have something like this — but I don't really use the epilation part of it anymore. It's an electric shaver (which I DO use) that has an...

    Today, 05:16 PM By Alison H.
  • Reply to Ex boyfriend dilemma

    It's almost impossible to know how your baby will look like.

    Today, 02:15 PM By ferahunt
  • Reply to Is Childfree Right For Me?

    never wanted to get married let alone have kids
    also, have health issues that would make caring for an infant difficult

    after being...

    Today, 10:12 AM By amy40
  • Reply to Is Childfree Right For Me?

    I'm also childfree by choice. I never felt the desire to have kids. I also have some other health issues that would make pregnancy and care for an infant...

    Today, 05:11 AM By Laura V.
  • Reply to Have You Ever Done Any Online Dating?

    Totaly agreed...

    Yesterday, 01:28 PM By Louna11

Latest Topics On Our Forums

Collapse

  • stabbing pain

    started have stabbing pain in vulva area
    looked it up & says vulvodynia
    however, I have had this stabbing pain in one leg & side,...

    09-19-2021, 10:09 AM By amy40
  • Epilady?!?

    I was cleaning out an old trunk from my teen years and came upon the medieval torture implement, the epilady. For the uninitiated, it’s a device that...

    09-16-2021, 11:32 PM By Wednesday L.F.
  • Phonesex, anyone?

    In my 20s, I worked as a phonesex girl. It was fun and all, but it led me to not want to engage in that sort of activity in my personal life. Fast forward...

    09-16-2021, 11:28 PM By Wednesday L.F.
  • Skyla IUD Sudden Period Problems

    I’ve had my Skyla IUD for 2 and a half years now, no complications except for hormonal acne that’s managed well. It’s due to expire next May. My...

    09-06-2021, 02:21 PM By LuckyWitch77
Working...
X