kid grew up

[amy40]

my kid grew up too fast!
husband & I are parents to a teen-8th grader
I SO miss the young toddler years when we played all day- playdoh, finger painting, reading stories, etc
life with a teen is so different as several activities have teen staying after school or gone on weekends

teen has SO much homework
husband built a desk so teen is in bedroom a lot & I'm not allowed in bedroom!

anyone relate?

[EmptyNester]

Yep... teenagers want their space. They will engage when they need something LOL!

Find some other hobbies and interests aside from parenting. You will need these anyway once they leave the next for college or otherwise.

Guess what? Once they leave, they appreciate mom & dad a lot more than ever!

[Kayla Lords]

I've got a 13 year old and a 17 year old and the teen years are so different from those early days but I've found in many ways, they're so much better. Yes, there are challenges and whole new worries to contend with, but because of the relationships I've built with my kids, they're able and willing to communicate with me. But yes, they definitely want their privacy and space, and I let them have it as long as nothing is making my Mom-Spidey-Senses tingle, I let them have it to the extent that I think they're still safe. I think it really helps maintain our relationship.

[Alison H.]

Mine are 17 and 20, but I very much relate (and remember) the middle-school/early teen years and they were an adjustment, for sure.

It was vastly different with each kid too.

The oldest one essentially didn’t come out of her room for a year and a half aside from school and meals (around the age of 13/14), and the other one had angry lasers shooting from her eyes whenever you spoke to her for about 6 months when her teenage years first hit.

Like Kayla mentioned, letting them have their privacy (while also ensuring they knew they could talk to me when needed) was just par for the course during that time. I didn’t get all up in their business unless something told me I needed to, and I just let them have their space otherwise. It’s what they needed. It was hard sometimes, as a parent — but I just lived by the "always knock on their door first" rule and accepted that the bedroom door had to be closed, knowing that it (likely) wouldn't last forever. And it didn't.

They do grow up so fast. I’m still in disbelief a lot of the time… mostly because my youngest is just wrapping up her college applications and art portfolio requirements and I’ve come to the realization that time is running out… she’ll be an adult in just a few short months. It’s surreal. A year from now, she’s likely going to be in school somewhere out of state. I’m sad, but excited for her.

But it also makes me ACUTELY aware that the moments we share together now, at this age, are fleeting — and incredibly important.

I DO miss aspects of their younger years, sometimes. But… although things change a lot, they also get better in a LOT of ways, too.

You get to have deeper conversations. They become WAY more self-sufficient. They develop adult-like reasoning and at least in our house, adult-like razor-sharp wit which… is just the icing on the cake and it’s one of the best things ever if I’m being completely honest.

Even the activities you can do with them change for the better in a lot of ways, too. We play Cards Against Humanity. We cook together in the kitchen. We can go out to dinner or to movies or concerts and it’s more like you’re doing those things with a friend, rather than your child.

I know I’m lucky in a thousand different ways because of the relationship I have with my kids — it was NOT always this easy when they were younger teenagers.

But what that transition turned into later on… man, I would not change any of it for the world.