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Men giving women compliments

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  • Men giving women compliments

    Hey everyone,

    I was hoping I could get you're opinions on guys who pick up women?

    You see it all the time in the movies and on your favourtie TV shows, however I was wondering how often does it happen to you in real life? Also it should be noted, I'm not including when I guy is half drunk on a night out and he thinks he's god's gift to women, because that's basically every guy on a night out.

    I'm on about how often does a guy come up to you during the middle of the day and offer you a compliment, about how pretty you are, or he likes the bracelet you're wearing or whatever?

    I'm wondering do you like it when a guy does this or is it kind of annoying? I'd guess it would be more annoying if it happened a lot...

    Not gonna lie, I've tried this myself (only once) and the women was clearly shocked...anyway, I left shortly after I said it, because I don't like to make people feel uncomfortable.

    However I would like to get more of a women's opinion of this, maybe there is a reason you only see this sort of stuff in the movies...

  • There are factors that influence how it's perceived, that you aren't mentioning here. Is it a total stranger in public? Is it a coworker? A distant coworker, such as someone in the same office that you have no direct association? Is it a friend of a friend? Are you in a social setting....there's a lot to consider.

    Generally, it can be a little creepy and many women aren't always comfortable with the strong come-ons.

    Are you asking because you're trying to get women's attention?

    Comment


    • Sometimes it can be flattering at other times it's just annoying, it really depends on who the guy is I guess..

      Comment


      • Also I expect it depends on what is said. I've never had anyone object to being told that I enjoyed talking to them over lunch.

        Comment


        • It's just a general "Hi, I saw you from over there, thought you were cute and wanted to say, hello"

          That's all there is too it, and to these women, yes obviously I'll be a stranger...but in reality, every person, everyone meets in life, before they become you're friends, best friends, partners etc...at one point before you got their, they were a stranger...

          Comment


          • Originally posted by bro21 View Post
            It's just a general "Hi, I saw you from over there, thought you were cute and wanted to say, hello"

            That's all there is too it, and to these women, yes obviously I'll be a stranger...but in reality, every person, everyone meets in life, before they become you're friends, best friends, partners etc...at one point before you got their, they were a stranger...
            Hmmm, that wouldn't work on me.

            Comment


            • Bro, in what age bracket are you? 20's? 30's? 40's?

              First, it takes guts to walk up to a stranger like that, so your confidence is great. Confidence is always sexy.

              Your words however, are probably not the best ice breaker. Again, in what setting? Did you march up to a woman at the 7-11? At a Knicks game? In church? A nightclub? It is relevant because it indicates possibly the frame of mind someone may be in. Had eye contact been made prior to your approach?
              Did you take time and look for a ring? Was she with friends or family, kids?
              Did you get too close to her when you approached? Invading a woman's personal space, as a stranger is a big no-no.

              It can be very easy to come across as desperate and socially awkward in these situations, rather than confident. It can be perceived as a really creepy thing in many ways, so skill and a certain amount of discretion must be used.

              With the little info you give, I would say that in a nightclub would be the only scenario that I MIGHT be open to that line, and honestly it's doubtful. I'm a 41yr old divorced woman dating, and that just sounds very junior high school awkward from a man my age.
              If you're in your 20's, as I suspect, that may be much better received

              What I would feel more comfortable with, if I saw a man admiring me from "over there", and I was interested, I'd smile back at him-give him a green light so to speak. Then, if he decided to come over and talk, an opener might be nice, such as " my name is John, is it alright if I sit and chat with you?".

              If you're approaching women "out of the blue", with no acknowledgement of your presence or subtle cue from them saying it's ok, that may be why it isn't accepted. So much of communication isn't verbal. If you're going up to someone "blindly", in the grocery store where they don't know you're there, that's a bit more stalkerish and can be startling and /or disturbing for some.

              So, in short, real life isn't like the movies.

              Tell me more...I'd love to help you if I can. I think many of the men and women here can offer supportive and helpful ideas.

              Comment


              • I have one thing I can add to this. He can't just use recommended lines if he can't OWN IT. If he can't own it, then it will sound like he is trying to be someone he isn't.

                One night I went to a club without my current GF. Was going with friends and I honestly was a llittle grumpy that my GF was not going. I decided I was going to try stupid pick up lines that I read online on strangers at the club. I wanted to sabotage my night at the club (I really wanted my GF to go). However, I came across a hilarious pick up line that I thought I could actually pull off. When I read it, I knew I could OWN IT like it was mine. It actually changed my mood going into the night club, and it did work.

                I guess what I am trying to say is that the icebreaker isn't a verbal passcode to get a lady to talk to you, but it's something that needs to sound and feel genuine coming from you.
                [B]"Are you serious? You're [i]bleeping[/I] THAT girl?"[/B][B] - [COLOR="#B22222"]jen1447[/COLOR][/B]

                Comment


                • Ohh,, shhhhh,,, pick lines don't work, we can see through those like we were looking out a window....

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Patti-here View Post
                    Ohh,, shhhhh,,, pick lines don't work, we can see through those like we were looking out a window....
                    By lines I mean anything you can open with. atskitty called it an "ice breaker," which I think is more appropriate. But in my example above, it really was a line, though it wasn't one I had heard before.

                    edit: By the way, I did not cheat with the girl I used the line on. It was just to have innocent fun and to try the line.
                    [B]"Are you serious? You're [i]bleeping[/I] THAT girl?"[/B][B] - [COLOR="#B22222"]jen1447[/COLOR][/B]

                    Comment


                    • In my example, as you see, it isn't a pick up line at all. It's introducing yourself, then respectfully asking to begin a discussion. I am really offended when some guy just waltzes over and seems to think I should be blessed that he chose to barge into my space. I prefer he be respectful and recognize that beginning a discussion isn't his "right"...he needs to ask before interrupting my evening with friends or my shopping, or whatever, even if I've given him the green light.

                      I don't do that to men, and I appreciate the same.

                      Now, with that said, I'm not an utter **********. I don't respond rudely unless I'm addressed rudely, but I think if we all respected boundaries and treated potential love interests with immediate respect, the getting-to-know-you phase would be a much more solid foundation for a future...

                      Comment


                      • Well kitty, if a guy want to meet/talk with you he 'should start out with introducing himself, like any gentleman would do..

                        Like, hi my name is Rob, I was wondering if you'd like another drink, something along those lines.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
                          I don't respond rudely unless I'm addressed rudely
                          OMG Thank you! There is nothing more hideous than a person that can't gracefully say "no." I once was out in public and approached a girl. She shot me down, but she did it with grace. She said "thanks" and that she had a boyfriend but then followed up by saying "maybe we can do lunch?" That was her way of letting me down real easy. Now I didn't take her up on that offer because I don't like people doing what they don't want to do.

                          Now if I was her I would not have used that line because a guy may interpret the lunch thing the wrong way, but I was the right guy to use it on and I thought it was such a hot rejection.

                          God I'm weird... this forum made me realize it.
                          [B]"Are you serious? You're [i]bleeping[/I] THAT girl?"[/B][B] - [COLOR="#B22222"]jen1447[/COLOR][/B]

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
                            Bro, in what age bracket are you? 20's? 30's? 40's?

                            First, it takes guts to walk up to a stranger like that, so your confidence is great. Confidence is always sexy.

                            Your words however, are probably not the best ice breaker. Again, in what setting? Did you march up to a woman at the 7-11? At a Knicks game? In church? A nightclub? It is relevant because it indicates possibly the frame of mind someone may be in. Had eye contact been made prior to your approach?
                            Did you take time and look for a ring? Was she with friends or family, kids?
                            Did you get too close to her when you approached? Invading a woman's personal space, as a stranger is a big no-no.

                            It can be very easy to come across as desperate and socially awkward in these situations, rather than confident. It can be perceived as a really creepy thing in many ways, so skill and a certain amount of discretion must be used.

                            With the little info you give, I would say that in a nightclub would be the only scenario that I MIGHT be open to that line, and honestly it's doubtful. I'm a 41yr old divorced woman dating, and that just sounds very junior high school awkward from a man my age.
                            If you're in your 20's, as I suspect, that may be much better received

                            What I would feel more comfortable with, if I saw a man admiring me from "over there", and I was interested, I'd smile back at him-give him a green light so to speak. Then, if he decided to come over and talk, an opener might be nice, such as " my name is John, is it alright if I sit and chat with you?".

                            If you're approaching women "out of the blue", with no acknowledgement of your presence or subtle cue from them saying it's ok, that may be why it isn't accepted. So much of communication isn't verbal. If you're going up to someone "blindly", in the grocery store where they don't know you're there, that's a bit more stalkerish and can be startling and /or disturbing for some.

                            So, in short, real life isn't like the movies.

                            Tell me more...I'd love to help you if I can. I think many of the men and women here can offer supportive and helpful ideas.
                            Hi Kitty, Thanks you are right, I am in my 20's, 24 actually.

                            When I said this it was to a girl working at Jewelers store, I wasn't invading her personal space at all, in fact, we were at opposite ends of the counter, she was by herself. Yes there was eye contact, during the approach and before I said the words and when I said my opener. She clearly saw me coming, as I walked directly in her eye line before I said anything, I didn't just walk behind her and surprise her with my opener, I could understand how she would be shocked then haha.

                            I'm very confident in the way I speak, as I provide technical support in my job, so obviously it's important for me to speak clearly to a lot of people I work with, and I do believe this transfers into my every day life.

                            Also I'd like to thank people for there feedback so far, appreciate it

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Something_Awesome View Post
                              OMG Thank you! There is nothing more hideous than a person that can't gracefully say "no." I once was out in public and approached a girl. She shot me down, but she did it with grace. She said "thanks" and that she had a boyfriend but then followed up by saying "maybe we can do lunch?" That was her way of letting me down real easy. Now I didn't take her up on that offer because I don't like people doing what they don't want to do.

                              Now if I was her I would not have used that line because a guy may interpret the lunch thing the wrong way, but I was the right guy to use it on and I thought it was such a hot rejection.

                              God I'm weird... this forum made me realize it.
                              Pfffft. I might tell you to FO

                              Comment

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